TODAY IS
MONDAY, MAY 15, 2022
TRUMP’S EIGHT-HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIFTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND WE’RE STILL HOPING FOR A SMATTERING OF ELECTION INTEGRITY AT TUESDAY’S BLUEGRASS PRIMARY
We Won’t Endorse….
by Charles Foster Kane
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher
Before every election, The Whistleblower-Newswire is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, e-mails, and bribe lunches asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Bluegrass Indecision 2023, our readers have every right to expect nothing less. But the fact that only one day before the Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 16, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.
But political scientists are puzzled: How can elected officials be caught lying, tell more lies the next day, and the press won’t even hold them accountable? But as Hillary says, “What different does it make, anyway,” after our Avaricious Attorney from COAST Chris Finney successfully argued for a politician’s Right to Lie before the U.S. Supreme Court.
Unlike the so-called mainstream news media like our Feckless Fishwrappers, whose totally discredited political endorsements by their rubber-stamping idiotirial board and news coverage are so often interchangeable, The Whistleblower continues to present facts, opinions, viewpoints, and analyses on all sides of an issue. On rare occasions we even attempt to use humor or sarcastic satire to make a point. We trust our readers are intelligent enough to come to an informed decision.
And since we never accept advertising, and have no sponsors nor special interests to dictate their extreme prejudices, we wouldn’t insult the Persons of Consequence who are our subscribers by presuming they’re not bright enough and sufficiently critical to evaluate what we’ve presented, along with everything else they’ve seen, read, heard, and smelled so they can make up their own minds.
Let’s face it: Prostitutes in the Press and trash-talkers on the radio will take money to promote both sides of any contest or issue, whether they believe them or not. They’ll always ignore false claims in lying, last-minute desperate negative attack ads from despicable candidates, as long as those commercials are paid-for-in-advance. There’s no limit on how much money they’ll accept from anyone, all in the name of promoting “free” speech. We wouldn’t be surprised if Tuesday’s turnout would be a lot lower than our Kneepad Liberals in the Press are predicting.
Therefore, The Blower won’t make political endorsements, either for candidates or issues. We’re doing our job. Now it’s time for you to get off your fat couch-potato asses and do yours.
Remember the prophetic words of Jesse “The Body” Ventura: “If you don’t vote, you’ll be leaving the decision to someone even dumber than you are.”
Also try to remember what those Loony Libertarians always say: A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. People who don’t stand for something will fall for anything. No matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really believe in.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says according to WDRN in Louisville, Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron is encouraging voters to report suspected election law violations during the 2023 primary election.
Kentucky voters are encouraged to call a 24-hour hotline at 1-800-328-VOTE (8683) if they notice suspected election law violations.
“Kentuckians play a vital role in identifying suspected election violations, and we urge anyone who witnesses a violation to report it immediately to our office,” Cameron said in a news release. “Our Office of Special Prosecutions and Department of Criminal Investigations stand ready to continue our efforts to protect the integrity of our elections by investigating and prosecuting suspected election fraud.”
Curiously, besides being Kentucky’s Attorney General, Cameron is also endorsed by Donald Trump and the leading candidate in tomorrow’s Bluegrass Republican Gubernatorial Primary. No Kidding!
WHISTLEBLOWER BLUEGRASS CAMPAIGN PARODY VIDEOS
“Honest Gil” Fulbright for Senate 2014
“Eric Deters” For Governor 2022”