TODAY IS
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 01, 2018
Trump’s 680th Day In Office

Today We Learn What Happened To Tyrone

Tyrone was having trouble in school. His teacher was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me crazy, Tyrone. Can’t you learn anything!!?”

One day Tyrone’s mother came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career. The mom was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from school and moved out of Cleveland, relocating to Cincinnati.

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, which only one surgeon at Christ Hospital could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was remarkably successful.

When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor who looked very familiar smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly died. The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly. Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the Clinic, who had unplugged the teacher’s life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner.

If you thought Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon, or if you thought Tyrone really turned out to be Trump’s HUD Secretary Dr. Ben Carson, there is a high likelihood that you voted for “Crooked Hillary” in 2016 and Aftab Pureval in 2018, recently signed a petition calling for the abolition of the Electoral College, and are a devoted reader of our Morning Fishwrap.

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