Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
It’s Beginning To Look Like A Trump Christmas
—Tonight’s Official Trump Christmas Tweet —
With Seasons Greetings To All Our Liberal Friends
2017 Christmas Decorations at the White House
‘Twas The Night Before Trump’s Christmas
The Ultimate Christmas Gun Video | 511 Tactical Contest
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT — TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE — Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
Hillary Describes What Losing Felt Like
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERERepublican Tax Plan Will Kill You And Destroy The Planet
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
Opinion: I Usually Like Satire, But This Time You’ve Gone Too Far
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Boss’s Sexual Harassment A Lot More Cautious Lately
MEMPHIS, TN—Noticing a marked difference in the way he conducts himself in the workplace, sources reported Monday that local boss Eric Reinhardt’s sexual harassment has been a lot more cautious lately. “It definitely seems like he’s been far more careful with all of his inappropriate sexual behavior around the office,” said employee Yvette Coleman, explaining, for example, that Reinhardt has cut down on brazenly groping her in favor of simply letting his fingers discreetly brush up against her in the hallway or the elevator. “He used to corner me in the break room and straight-up ask me how often I masturbated. Now he’ll just smirk and ask me if I’m willing to go ‘the extra mile’ for a promotion or leer at me from a short distance and mutter something unintelligible but obviously filthy under his breath. Oh yeah, this guy’s scared, no question.” At press time, Reinhardt stopped himself before texting a picture of his penis to his assistant, instead taking the precaution of printing it out and showing it to her in person.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Fake News Posters —
— NOW HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 333. There Are Now Only 1,049 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.