This week our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about all that Fabulous News Coverage promoting the Gay Agenda during the Attack on Marriage Hearing at the Federal Courthouse in Cincinnati:         

“The Fishwrap gave the gays all that free front-page publicity,” pointed out Commissioner Filch.         

“Diversity uber alles,” added Commissioner Swindle. “Those folks never miss an opportunity to promote the Liberal Agenda.”         

“For years Kneepad Liberals in the Press wanted everybody to believe at least half the population was homosexual,” said Commissioner Pilfer. “Now it turns out it’s only 1.6%.”         

“Which means 98.4% is heterosexual,” explained Commissioner Swindle, “but you’d never see that explained anywhere in the Liberal News Media. It would make it very difficult for them to convince people to validate the gay lifestyle.”

“Doesn’t Cincinnati have a gay guy on its City Council?” asked Commissioner Filch.         

“He was the victim of a homophobic attack last winter when Republicans for Higher Taxes reported somebody had written ‘Tiny Cock’ in the snow on his windshield, and the gay guy still hasn’t stopped pouting ever since the local St. Patrick’s Day Parade Committee banned a Gay Group again this year,” Commissioner Swindle explained.         

“You’d think a monumental decision was hanging in the balance from all the publicity last week,” said Commissioner Pilfer.         

“That’s ridiculous,” concluded Commissioner Swindle. “No matter what those judges in Cincinnati decide, you know this case is going to wind up in the Supreme Court.”                    

This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.