SUNDAY, AUGUST 04, 2024
TRUMP’S TWELVE HUNDRED-AND-NINETY-SECOND DAY CAMPAIGNING OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
New Trump Ad EXPOSES Kamala Harris
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
A guy we’ll call “BIDEN-BASHER Tadwell” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how BOY TOY IS REACTING TO Trump’s selection of JD Vance to be his Vice President, since he represents JD Vance’s (R-Ohio) district.
“Nancy Pelosi told her Boy Toy to slam the vice presidential candidate for his views on abortion, women and marriage, arguing his was ‘one of the cruelest, most chaotic and downright weirdest’ VP campaigns,“ Kane explained.
Tim Walz may have just been named Kamala’s VP pick. Apart from being governor of Minnesota, the man is a real mystery. Who is he? Why is he? And what will he do in office?
Well, we at the Babylon Bee have acquired a top-secret bucket list of the first ten things Tim Walz wants to do in office. Take a look — if you dare!
- Purchase cackle-canceling headphones: Total life-savers during meetings with Kamala.
- Authorize Minnesota to annex Michigan, Wisconsin, and Ohio: May the state with the best potlucks win.
- Mandate tampons in every men’s restroom in the nation: For, you know, equity and all that.
- Change the US flag to look more like the Somalian flag: It’ll be just like home sweet home in Minneapolis.
- Burn down the White House for racial justice: George Floyd will be so proud.
- Fire all cops: Utopia at last!
- Invoke the 25th amendment against Kamala Harris: That’s an obvious one.
- Hide his wife from the First Gentleman: You never know where that creep might be lurking.
- Authorize the installation of loudspeakers to broadcast the Muslim call to prayer in DC: If Sharia law worked so well in Minneapolis, maybe the rest of the country needs it, too.
- Seize the means of production, but in a folksy, down-to-earth way: How very Midwestern of him. Workers of the world, let’s get together sometime!
Well, there you go — isn’t there so much to look forward to? Boy, are we glad this guy is a real man with a plan!
Kamala Harris Introduces Strangely Familiar VP Pick
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORT
Gannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President. 
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
TODAY’S MESSAGE FROM WHAT’S LEFT OF TEAM JOE
Today Everybody Hereabouts Is Wondering Where Trump’s And Vance’s Next Packed 2024 Save America Rallies Will Be
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles 
Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 89 days before the 2024 elections.
