SATURDAY, JULY 20, 2024
TRUMP’S TWELVE HUNDRED-AND-SEVENTY-SEVENTH DAY CAMPAIGNING OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Unexpected Hero: Lunch Lady Pat’s Secret Service Adventure
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
A guy we’ll call “BIDEN-BASHER Tadwell” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if PELOSI’S BOY TOY Had Called For Dementia Biden To Drop Out Of The 2024 Presidential Elections.
“Nancy Pelosi Told Boy Toy To Stay In Until She Gives Him The Word, Just Like Always,” Kane explained.
With President Biden stepping aside despite winning his party’s primary, millions are asking — what happens next? The Babylon Bee explains the eight things that happen now that Biden has resigned:
- The nuclear football is given to “the black guy” until the next President can be sworn in: Biden’s words, not ours.
- A SWAT team will be deployed to smoke Jill Biden out of the Oval Office: Standard operating procedure.
- Jill Biden will propose to Kamala Harris: The First Lady isn’t giving up that easy.
- A golden snitch is then released into the Capitol and whoever captures it will be nominated Vice President: Seems fair.
- The cocaine at the White House will finally be returned to its rightful owner: It’s about time.
- Biden will begin construction on “The Joe Biden Center For Kids Who Don’t Launder Money Good”: Like a Presidential Library, only better.
- Netflix will announce a biopic of Joe Biden, starring Denzel Washington: And Halle Berry as Jill Biden.
- Candidates to take Biden’s place on the November ballot must fight to the death under a waterfall: This ought to be good.
It’s going to be a wild few weeks – get ready, America!
BABYLON BEE
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORT
Gannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President. 
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
TODAY’S MESSAGE FROM TEAM JOE
Today Everybody Hereabouts Is Wondering Where Trump’s And Vance’s Next Packed 2024 Save America Rallies Will Be
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles 
Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 106 days before the 2024 elections.
