TODAY IS
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 07, 2023
TRUMP’S ONE-THOUSAND-AND-FIFTY-FIRST DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
IS THIS HOW OUR ILLEGITIMATE RESIDENT JOKE BIDEN* TRYING TO APPEAL TO JEWS ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF HANUKKAH
Happy Hannukah, Everybody!
Tonight will be the first night of Hanukkah. Why do Jews celebrate this holiday anyway? Hanukkah Harry explains: “More than 2,000 years ago, Syria attacked Israel. We kicked their asses. The oil in the lamps burned for eight days. Now go eat some potato latkes (sometimes referred to as Jewish weapons of mass destruction) and play with your dreidel already.”
Speaking of Jewish toys, The Blower was corrected yesterday for saying “nothing rhymes with dreidel.” A caller said, “How about “ladle?” Amazingly, the call was the call was for our good friend, the late Hamilton County Recorder St. Nick Nadel.
How will the City of Cincinnati be celebrating this important Jewish holiday? Most Jews in Cincinnati made their Exodus to the suburbs ages ago.
How do you pronounce “Hanukkah” anyway? Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane, reportedly a part-time Rabbinic scholar in that story ages ago by Fritz Wenzel (when the president of Wenzel Strategies was but a mere political columnist for the Toledo Blade), says if you’re pronouncing it correctly, somebody will say “God Bless You.” Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose comedian Richard Lewis’ “Most Texans think it’s some kind of duck call.”
Whistleblower Religious Editor Fielding Mellish remembers when Obama celebrated Hanukkah at the White House two weeks early, and then lit ALL the candles at once? Didn’t any of Obama’s over-paid advisors tell him you’re not supposed to do that until the eighth night or was Rahm Emanuel the only Jew on the White House staff and he was already back in Chicago? Imagine if Donald Trump had done something that stupid. The Liberal Press would’ve gone “Meshugenah” this morning.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know, and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially “The Goyim” on Hanukkah.
HAPPY HANUKKAH HOT LINE
e-mail your Hebrew highlights today
Some Jew choosing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Jew choosing Subscribers.
Whistleblower Hanukkah Videos
Lewis Black – Getting In The Holiday Spirit
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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