TODAY IS
THURSDAY, APRIL 27, 2023
TRUMP’S EIGHT-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-SEVENTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND YESTERDAY IN OUR REVIEW OF THE CURRENT WEEK’S THIRTY-TWO-YEAR-OLD 1991 EDITION OF THE WHISTLEBLOWER (THE AWARD-WINNING PRINTED VERSION THAT WAS HAND-DELIVERED ALL OVER TOWN) TO SEE IF ANY LOCAL PEOPLE
PICTURED ON THOSE PAGES MIGHT STILL BE ROOM TEMPERATURE THESE DAYS, THIS WEEK’S REALLY BIG STORY INCLUDED AN ILLUSTRATION OF GERALD NORMAN SPRINGER. PLEASE ACCEPT OUR APOLOGY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE
Happy Secretary’s Day, Gals!
No, we won’t be calling it “Secretary’s Day” today. We’re supposed to say “Administrative Professionals Day,” so you little ladies can feel better about your humdrum jobs. Now would you mind getting us a cup of coffee?
Hurley the Historian says this made-up holiday was created in 1952 by a Young and Rubicam advertising executive who found a way to give his secretary something that didn’t cost money.
No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Barry Goldwater’s “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, that’s fine!” Was Barry a Compassionate Conservatism or what!
Male Chauvinist Employers of America explain why they changed the name of today’s “Secretary’s Day” holiday to “Administrative Professionals Day.” It was cheaper than giving the little ladies a raise.
The Unemployment Office always says tomorrow on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day,” you could always take your little girl there.
Way back when, in The Original Whistleblower edition that came out April 23, 1991, our Top Ten List was the things a boss could do for his secretary during Professional Secretaries Week to make her feel really special. We showed our bad taste even then.
To See the entire Edition #47, CLICK HERE
And they’ll really be celebrating “Secretary’s Day” in a special way at Patty Brisben’s Dildo World at 655 Plum Street, in Downtown Cincinnati.
Finally, now that Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters has been promoted to “non-attorney spokesperson at the law firm which bears his name, members of “The Cabal Still Out to Destroy Him” are wondering when The Blower will be publishing its undercover report on how “Crazy Eric” plans to celebrate this very special occasion.
Now Little Ladies, maybe we can get back to work so we can publish the rest of this e-dition, one of these days.
SOME SPECIAL SECRETARY’S DAY VIDEOS
The ‘Mad Men’ Guide to Secretary’s Day
Happy Secretary’s Day from Landalor Industries
Just Shoot Me: Secretary’s Day
PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only one websites for the production of today’s Blower. (This time we only plagiarized ourselves!)
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
“I Swear This Is Not My Secretary.”
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend Joe Braun, who says you won’t believe the present I’m giving my secretary for Secretary’s Day. Batteries not included. )
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
