ANDERSON APOCALYPSE UPDATE (MARCH 04, 2023)

TODAY IS
SATURDAY, MARCH 04, 2023
TRUMP’S SEVEN HUNDRED-AND-SEVENTY-THIRD DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND WE’RE LOOKING AT THE “SAME OLD, SAME OLD” SCHOOL TAX LEVY PLAN

Yesterday at the meeting of the Anderson Apocalypse, we heard the school district’s take on the levy to be voted on May 2: If the School Tax Levy passes, property tax millage increases by 6.9 mils; the district cuts $780k from the budget. If it fails, school district implements cuts of $2.6 million by the end of the summer and student extracurricular fees get doubled.

We asked our Esteemed Equestrian Apocalypse Analyst Dr. Irving Dullahan to give us his take on this. He was uncharacteristically emotional about the school district’s approach.

“Please pardon my bluntness. The school district proposal is ‘same old, same old.’ Get out of the f’n rut, people! It’s gotten you nowhere but behind.

“Given the admission that a major budget cut can be implemented if the levy fails, that same cut should also be viable if the levy passes.

“With a levy passed and an additional $2.6 million saved in cuts, the district’s financial situation should improve rapidly.

“Given the importance of extracurricular participation by students, it would seem entirely feasible to cut those fees by half, rather than doubling them.

“A threat to double extracurricular fees is a despicable campaign tactic. It is an arrogant coercion of votes.

“The superintendent is on the record of being “for the kids.” Put your actions where your mouth is, sir.

“Given the budget neglect and mismanagement that has placed the district in an unprecedentedly poor financial position, changes are required to restore its reputation. Most certainly, the district should not blindly follow the playbook from the past that has damaged the fine reputation it once had.”

Whereupon, Dr. Dullahan quickly retired for a stiff drink. We’ll check on him later.

“In the meantime, we observe that it’s up to the voters to insist on turning the ship around. If this superintendent is just another parrot repeating the mistakes of the past over and over, it seems like we need another superintendent before we need another tax increase.”

“Sometime before May 2 dumbed down voters need to educate themselves about things that are wasting them a lot of money. It’s amazing how our people will vote for something they don’t fully understand.

“We hope that voters are skeptical after having been scammed so thoroughly with the bond levy. It fell well short of “renovate to new” while creating in overruns, lawsuits, and increased expenses that busted the operating budget.”

The Anderson Apocalypse Continues