TODAY IS
MONDAY, JUNE 13, 2022
TRUMP’S FIVE-HUNDRED-AND-NINTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND DESECRATING D-RATS ARE READY FOR BURN-THE-FLAG DAY, TOO

With These Last-Minute Changes

We need to get the word out on two last-minute changes to Tuesday’s Big Annual Flag Day Parade in Anderson.

FIRST THE LOCATION: According to the State of Ohio, the “PFC James Miller IV Memorial Highway” has now been combined with the “Staff Sergeant Richard T. Pummill Memorial Highway” so that the Largest Flag Day Parade in the area will begin at Revered Former Anderson Trustee Andrew S. Pappas’ KFC at 7857 “PFC James Miller IV and Staff Sergeant Richard T. Pummill Memorial Highway,” and all Peaceful, Caucasian, God-fearing Andersonians watching the parade are still requested to stay six feet apart behind the “white line.”

Tuesday’s Big Annual Flag Day Parade in Anderson will be totally patriotic, and politicians will not be permitted to exploit this event for purely political purposes, unlike what appears to have happened at a previous Deer Park Memorial Day Parade.

SECOND, THE NAME OF THE PARADE: At the final planning meeting, Anderson Flag Day Parade organizers were unaware that besides Flag Day always being on June 14, tomorrow’s also the observance of the U.S. Army’s 247th Birthday. June 14, 2022, is also President Donald Trump’s 76th birthday. That means Trump supporters who are already scheduled to walk in the Flag Day Parade will be carrying “Happy Birthday, Still My President Trump!” signs instead of American flags, and they are now insisting that the official name of this year’s parade be changed to Anderson’s “Annual Largest Flag Day In The Area and Still-My-President Donald J. Trump 76th Birthday Parade.”

How do we know tomorrow is President Donald Trump’s 76th Birthday?  Still-My-First Lady Melania Trump sent us an e-mail telling us she needs our help to make President Trump’s 76th Birthday a birthday he will never forget, especially since we have certainly proven ourselves to be loyal friends of her husband through our support of his positive vision to Make America Great Again and our unwavering commitment to the Republican Party. Melania even wants us to join her in celebrating Donald’s 76th birthday by signing the card before the deadline, 9:00 PM on June 14, 2022.

And to make it even more special, Melania says we should be sure to include our personal message.

SIGN THE CARD

And guess what happens when you sign your name: They thank you and allow you to donate money to support the President’s America First Agenda. Damn—Tomorrow’s going to be the best “Annual Largest Flag Day In The Area, U.S. Army Birthday, and Still-My-President Donald J. Trump 76th Birthday Parade” ever.