TODAY IS
SUNDAY, MARCH 22, 2020
Trump’s 1157th Day In Office
AND OHIO GOVERNOR MIKE DEWHINE JUST ANNOUNCED A STATEWIDE “STAY AT HOME ORDER” THAT GOES INTO EFFECT AT 11:59 P.M. MONDAY UNTIL APRIL 6

This Sunday in America… at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane was asking his Political Parishioners to Pray for Pastimes, even though Major League Baseball’s Opening Day won’t take place on March 26. That’s when it was supposed to be before China’s Deadly Kung Flu Pandemic closed everything down.

On March 12, the league canceled the remainder of spring training and punted Opening Day to at least April 9. On Monday, MLB fell in line with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s recommendation that public gatherings of 50 or more people take an eight-week hiatus: 

There probably will be a Major League Baseball season in 2020. The hard part is trying to guess when it might begin and how long it might last.

And once again, 2020 Reds fans will be able to forget Cincinnati’s long-discarded honor of always getting to host “Baseball’s Opening Game” every year, just because the first fully professional baseball team was the 1869 Cincinnati Red Stockings (ten men on salary for eight months from March 15 to November 15).

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says the Cincinnati Red Stockings won their first game on May 4, 1869 by a score of 45-9.  They then went on to go 57-1 (wins-tie), touring the U.S. playing teams from Boston to San Francisco, something that had not been done before. FurBall predicts despite winning last year’s Opening Day game 5-3 against the Pittsburgh Pirates, the 2020 Reds’ (that had been scheduled to play The St. Louis Cardinals on March 26) probably won’t be nearly so good.

FurBall says the next year, they won another 24 straight games before finally losing 8-7 in 11 innings against the Brooklyn Atlantics on June 14.  After their first loss, attendance declined substantially and they were disbanded the following year despite only losing six games all season. Iconic Reds former Sportscaster Marty Brennaman remembers it well.