SUNDAY, APRIL 8, 2018

This Sunday in America…
… at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane was asking his Political Parishioners to ask for God to encourage people to pray more often, since all those Trump-Bashers in the Press keep forgetting to tell people about the scientifically proven benefits of Prayer and Faith.

There must be something to it, especially after we read a recent poll that found 84% of U.S. adults claimed they prayed everyweek.

Maybe that’s because Prayer stimulates the parts of your brain that help keep you healthy and happy by improving your memory and mental function, enhancing your daily problem-solving ability, and diminishing your mental decline.

Doctors also say Prayer reduces stress and lowers your blood pressure, boosts your resistance to illness and disease, reduces your suffering from pain, neutralizes harmful negative emotions, and gives you a healthier, longer, and happier life.

“Best of all, Praying doesn’t cost anything,” Kane explained, “especially with America facing a new wave of homegrown political violence and terrorism if its divisions continue for the duration of the Devolution of America during the Post-Obama Period. That’s why authorities need to be on high alert for violence—not just from the extreme right, but from the extreme left as well. 76% of Americans now fear Political Violence and way too many Americans think their No. 1 enemy is the other political party. And if those things aren’t something to pray about, we don’t know what is.”