SATURDAY, MARCH 31, 2018
All Good Things Must Soon Come to An End
It’s hard to believe that Women’s History Month is really almost over, and so far The Whistleblower has only been able to mention a smidgen of the worthy women we had really wished to honor, including all those floozies Jerry Springer would still like to boink, Left-handed Lithuanian Lesbians in Indiana, and from Florida, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Chares Foster Kane’s Aging Attorney Acquaintance, who was Still Searching For His Lost Youth And Vigor when he returned from Spring Break last week, so he headed back to the beaches of South Florida this week to ogle a few more major yabbos.
Regretfully, we never really got around to honoring Republican women during Women’s History Month, since the Republican Party has always been proud to have played a leading role in securing women’s right to vote. Hurley the Historian says when Susan B. Anthony defied the law and voted in 1872, she proudly voted the Republican ticket. She and other suffragists worked with her friend Republican Senator A.A. Sargent to introduce the 19th Amendment. And it took a Republican Congress finally to pass it in 1919,
And although you’re not likely to hear it from any of those Obama Supporters in the Press, Republicans continue to offer a positive agenda for America’s women, as they work to create more job opportunities, lighten the tax burden, and reduce the cost of healthcare. Conservative policy goals are driven by the desire to do what’s best for women—not by scoring cynical political points for free condoms, birth control pills, and abortions.
FINALLY, at this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was telling Political Insiders the highlight of his recent extended Spring Break looking for some Major Yabbos on the beaches of Florida, when he was honored to judge that afternoon’s wet t-shirt contest. “It was truly a vile-and-disgusting experience,” Kane admitted, “But somebody had to do it.”
And is you think all that Women’s “Herstory” nonsense is just plain silly…
Yesterday’s Feminist Quote Of The Day was “Loud Clapping Can Be Intimidating…. Plus, Who Doesn’t Love Jazz Hands?” after the NUS Women’s Campaign tweeted: “Some delegates are requesting that we move to jazz hands rather than clapping, as it’s triggering anxiety. Please be mindful!”
Another group of women The Blower has chosen to honor during Women’s Herstory Month are those “Sluts in the Suburbs” from Warren County’s Hamilton Township who appeared in A&E’s TV reality show about your neighbors who “swap partners and engage in extramarital relationships as they go about their regular lives as parents, professionals, soccer moms and little league coaches.” (WATCH IT HERE)
Ex-Citizens for Community Morals President Phil Burr-Ass says his group will be raising money sponsoring a bus tour around the Horny Balls Subdivision, pointing out where all the slutiest sluts live. Trustees Darryl Cordrey, Joseph Rozzi, Joe Walker, and Fiscal Officer Jim Hunter say Hamilton Township will also be selling maps.
Meanwhile in Cincinnati, City Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback has sent a gay gram to A&E demanding to know when A&E TV will also be showing “Queers in the Queen City.”
And several of our more prolific limerick writers have suggested the first line of an upcoming Whistleblower Weekly Limerick Contest should be “So what if your neighbor’s a Slut?”
WOMEN’S HERSTORY MONTH HOT LINE
e-mail your feminist fallacies today.
Some women-whipping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally women-whipping subscribers, but we could always use more.
Whistleblower Women’s ‘Herstory’ Month Videos
Ezra Levant Says “Feminist Women Are Jealous Of Pence’s Marriage”
Plus This Vintage Female Obama Supporter
(This is the ad that should have aired)
(Sent in by Local “Sluts for Obama” Laure “Not so” Cleanlivin and Denise Dreihaus who totally approved of Obama’s 2012 ad comparing a young girl’s losing her virginity to the first time voting for Obama.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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