Daily Archives: October 22, 2017

Special “Weekend Wrap-up” E-dition

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2017
Tonight’s Number One Racial-Healing Story

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on yesterday’s date in 1975, Air Force Sergeant Leonard Matlovich, a decorated veteran of the Vietnam War, was given a “general” discharge after publicly declaring his homosexuality and long-time Whistleblower reader, Anderson resident Jim Applegate (who has since passed away) was the Air Force Colonel who prosecuted him. In Obama’s Army, Matlovich would probably be given general’s stars by now and been married to his gay lover at the White House, and Colonel Jim would still spinning in his grave.

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE this triple tweet from President Trump that blind-sided the Joint Chiefs: “After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow…… ….Transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming….. …victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you.” 

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says sexual abuse and the treatment of women in the workplace continued to capture national attention this week as the number of allegations of sexual assault and rape against former Hollywood movie producer Harvey Weinstein grew. Most Americans see sexual harassment in the workplace as a serious problem, and nearly half have experienced it themselves or know someone who has.

Halloween is nearing and we have another timely poem from the Bard of Cleves.     

Scary Sentiments
Upcoming is a holiday
We call it Halloween,
When every girl can be a princess
And every boy a queen.

IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “FOR THE CHILDREN,” Patronage County Commissioners were once again breaking the Sunshine Law when they were engaged in an illegal meeting where county business was being discussed. “I’m afraid the Patronage County Schools Tax Hike is going down to defeat,” said Commissioner Filch. “Somehow the voters have caught on that it’s a really bad deal.” This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.

THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKE WATCHER says we don’t have any new material this week from our Late Night Comedians. They all must be on vacation. All that Trump bashing must be really hard work.

MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says Investigative Reporter Jim McNair (who used to be at the Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting and is now turning over rocks at CityBeat) says the Ohio Legislature is marching toward passing Clermont County Representative John Becker’s bill that would decriminalize taking legally concealed weapons into gun-free zones such as schools, restaurants, courthouses and open-air arenas that serve alcohol. You should see all the folks opposing that idea. (READ MORE HERE)

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.                SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

LIBERAL LUNACY: LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #302 is to tell a joke: Q: What do Vanilla Ice, Eminem, and Barack Obama have in common?

A: They’ve all made careers pretending to be black men.

JOHN GALT says, “The symbol of all relationships among such men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trade…A trader is a man who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved.”

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says this week, most investors think they’ve died and gone to heaven.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, like morons in the audience Wednesday night listening to Vermont Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders say “Americans would be happy to pay more in federal income taxes if he could just explain to them it would mean they’ll get more ‘free’ government benefits, including health care, child care and college.”

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap, and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why High Fivin’ White Guys in the suburbs have so little interest in that BFD debate Cranley-Simpson Mayoral Debate tomorrow night. “Our Feckless Fishwrappers can’t stop asking why Diminutive DemocRAT John Cranley isn’t more popular,” Kane explained. “Shall we predict which candidate The Fishwrap plans to endorse?”

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially John Cranley, as this Award Winning Illustration of Cranley welcoming Unvetted Refugees From The Middle East from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.

Whistleblower NFL Boycott Update
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says our NFL Boycott must be working as the Anthem Protest Backlash rolled into Week 7. It looks like there were plenty of empty seats at Paul Brown Stadium this afternoon.

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”

MONDAY (OCTOBER 23) The Blower will be featuring our “Whistleblower War on Bureaucracy” E-dition.

TUESDAY (OCTOBER 24) will be our “Ignorance and Apathy” E-dition because Indecision 2017 has provided us with more stupid low-information voters than we know what to do with, as our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will probably show.

WEDNESDAY (OCTOBER 25) The Blower will try to find out whatever happened to Forest Hills School District Treasurer Rick Toepfer and Amorous Administrative Assistant “Insatiable Beth” Brulport, who had been accused of “sending explicit sexual messages to each other during school hours using school accounts and devices.”

THURSDAY (OCTOBER 26) we’ll find out if Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Zawistowski found any Citizens to run for such prestigious Ohio State Offices as Secretary of State, Attorney General, Treasurer, or Auditor of Ohio.

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (OCTOBER 27) Limerick is “What folks will be wearing on Halloween Night.”

AND SATURDAY (OCTOBER 28) we’ll still be wondering if we can ever find a way to celebrate “National Sarcasm Month” while we’re once again be reporting on what people will be wearing at Miss Vicki’s Special Invitation-Only Halloween Party.

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

TONIGHT’S WHISTLEBLOWER BRAINLESS BLACK BITCH VIDEOS
Maxine Waters vows I will go and take Trump out The New Revolution II


Frederica Wilson: “I’m A Rock Star Now”

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of the mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call The Fishwrap.