TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2017

Happy Voter Registration Day, Everybody!

Hurley the Historian says every year millions of Americans don’t vote because they missed a registration deadline or didn’t know how to register. In 2017, we want to make sure no one is left out. So today, as volunteers, celebrities, and organizations from all over Anderson Township were “hitting the streets” on National Voter Registration Day, The Blower, as the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda, was asking all our persons of consequence to do a couple of things.

First, we asked people to take a moment and check their own voter registrations at a link we’d provided, because you can’t vote if you’re not registered.

Then we told people to use the same voter registration link to find out if their friends were registered to vote (by typing in their friend’s First Name, Last Name, County, and hitting “Search.”  It doesn’t get any easier than that.

Then, if their friend was a Republican, we said to make sure you urge him to register at his local Board of Elections.

But if you even suspected your friend could in any way possibly be a Dumbed-Down DemocRAT, we said, “DO NOT TELL HIM TO REGISTER TO VOTE,” because that son of a bitch was obviously irresponsible and too freaking stupid to be allowed anywhere near a voting booth.

This Has Been Your Official “National Voter Registration Day” Reminder.

Any Other “National Voter Registration Day” Reminder You May See Anywhere Else Is Obviously Fake.