FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2017
Playoff Pressures
This week, everybody who doesn’t have to wonder what that giant sucking sound still coming from Mediocre American Ball Park is, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is long-time Cincinnati Reds fan Farley Fairweather, who remembers when baseball players cared about the game, instead of just their fat paychecks. Farley wins a pennant from 1919, when the Reds won their first World Series, but only because the Chicago Black Sox threw the games; 477 marked-down sweatshirts from the Reds Over-priced Apparel and Merchandise Store, and his name entered in the lottery of people who may be picked to mortgage their houses so they can buy a couple of tickets to a game or two in 2018. His winning limerick is:

When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year
And we are all crying in our beer
We saw it was tough
When we said, “not close enough,”
And then we all hoped for next year.

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall writes
When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year
We’d all hoped they‘d gotten it in gear
But pitchers gave games away
And hitters forgot how to play,
It’ll be no more post-season for us, I fear.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked):
When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year
What a shame the Old Left-Hander wasn’t here.
Ol’ Joe and Marty
Made each game a party
And now Nux is in heaven having a beer.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“It’s now only 38 more days till Elections”

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