SUNDAY, JULY 2, 2017
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1863, Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s last attempt to break the Union line at Gettysburg ended in disastrous failure, bringing the most decisive battle of the American civil War to an end. The 154th Gettysburg Battle Anniversary Reenactment, which is taking place on July 1, 2, & 3, 2017, uniquely coincides with the actual days of the Battle of Gettysburg–July 1, 2 & 3, 1863, and was held at the Gettysburg Movie Site overlooking the Round Tops and historic Sachs Mill Covered Bridge adjoining Gettysburg National Military Park. To see what’s happening on the old battlefield right this minute, CLICK HERE.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Robert E. Lee’s: “It is good that war is so horrible, or we might grow to like it.”
MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON, Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Obama is visiting Indonesia, and in a series of appearances, attacked love of country and the policies of Donald Trump, warning Americans about too much patriotism — on the Fourth of July weekend!
NOW TO HELP EVERYBODY GET READY FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY, BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES, HAS “ANOTHER PATRIOTIC POEM.”
On the Fourth of July,
In the rockets; red glare
The Girls dress skimpy
So the boys will stare.
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER SAID WE’RE STILL HEARING TOO MUCH LEFT-WING HATE SPEECH FROM OUR LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS
Trump accused Mika Brzezinski of getting plastic surgery, which is odd, because that’s the only thing covered by his healthcare plan.
Last night, President Trump hosted the first fundraiser for his 2020 re-election campaign. The event was black tie, but white guests.
Let’s stop pretending Trump is a symptom of something. He’s the disease, and the only cure is three and a half years of liquor and bed rest.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “FREE STUFF ON THE FOURTH,” everybody was getting ready to eat BBQ and watch the fireworks to celebrate Independence Day, but our Consternated County Commissioners were still be complaining about the high price of gasoline these days ask themselves: are we truly free and independent? This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
OUR MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says wonders who the next RINO Loser our Feckless Fishwrappers will be digging up so they can quote him saying something bad about Donald Trump.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says at week’s end, President Trump’s much-maligned temporary ban on visitors from Syria, Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen was at least partially in place, courtesy of the U.S. Supreme Court. Despite the complaints of opponents, voters agree the ban is an anti-terrorist measure, not anti-Muslim.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #162, Reclaim the language for conservatism: Instead of “Mainstream Media (MSM),” talk about the OLM— “Old Left Media.”
JOHN GALT says “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Major U.S. stock indexes ended a volatile week on a modestly high note on Friday, led by a surge in Nike shares, and the S&P 500 scored its biggest gain for the first half of the year since 2013 while the Nasdaq Composite’s first-half gain was its best in eight years.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. Unfortunately, the Freedom we’ll be enjoying on the upcoming Fourth of July is not free.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the Whistleblower Fife and Drum Corps. “We’ll be meeting in Anderson’s Holy Homophobic Heterosexual Fourth of July Day Parade (RAIN OR SHINE) at 9:30 AM behind Anderson Trustee Andy Pappas’ Cleaner Concepts located at 7857 PFC James Miller IV and Staff Sergeant Richard T. Pummill Memorial Highway,” Kane explained.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially when Award-Winning Illustrator Artis Conception shows us what it might look like when “JayWalking Joe” Deters goes shopping to cook up some Tensing Stew.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JULY 3) we’ll be checking to see if Americans are prouder of their country this year than they were last year at this time.
TUESDAY (JULY 4) we’ll be getting covering that Holy Homophobic Heterosexual Fourth of July Day Parade in Anderson, and you can just imagine how fairly balanced that will be.
WEDNESDAY (JULY 5) will be out Official “Post-Holiday Stress Disorder” E-dition.
THURSDAY (JULY 6) will be National Fried Chicken Day, and we’ll be seeing if White Guys really like Fried Chicken too.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JULY 7) LIMERICK IS “Obama now says it’s great to be gay,” and everybody’s wondering who the winner of that Limerick Contest will be.
AND SATURDAY (JULY 8) we’ll be checking to see if the news media still hasn’t figured out how to destroy the president.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO
Top 10 Times CNN Reported Fake News
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of the mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call The Fishwrap.
