TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2016
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Please don’t criticize the president’s 2016 Annual Vacation in Hawaii, where the flights alone will cost over-taxed payers $4 million. Just think of it as another mini Stimulus Program. —Obama’s White House Propaganda Minister Josh Earnest
Can you believe 146,189 people have already signed our Obama Family Christmas Card? —Doofus DemocRATS
All we want for Christmas is more “Free Stuff.” —All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, whose insurance costs increased in 2016, along with the rest of us during the Dark Ages in the Divided States of America during Obama’s Second Term
On this date in 1970, rock star Elvis Presley was drafted. —Hurley the Historian
Please remember to send your tax-deductible contributions to the Conservative Ohio Reps and Candidates who deserve your donations by December 31. —TEA Party Patriots
Mentally ill people don’t kill people. Mentally ill people with guns kill people. —Gun Control Fanatics
Tax the bullets! —Disarmed DemocRATS in Congress
I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! —Ralphie Parker
Last Christmas after those school shootings, we asked Ralphie to be our spokesman. —National Rifle Association
That’s why we chose Stan Freberg’s, “Say, mothers…as sure as there’s an X in Christmas, you can be certain those are Tiny Tim Chestnuts!” —Your Quote for Today Committee
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. —Donald Trump
Do you think Obama will be pardoning me before he leaves office in only 31 more days? —Hillary
Can you believe the Bungals won’t be in the playoffs this year? —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
Millionaire Mike Brown always has his finger on what’s good for the fans. —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception
Here’s some good news. Tomorrow’s Christmas Party at Jack casino where I’ll be announcing my return to politics is NOT being catered by my daughter’s in-laws at LaRosa’s. —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
How do you like what we’ve done with “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Web Page? —Bondage Dominating Sado Masochists’
Stop by my office at 7954 Beechmont Avenue and pick up your FREE gift from Dr. Scholl’s for Christmas. —Brad Wenstrup, Political Podiatrist
In last week’s column titled “Another Exclusive,” we learned how sleazy politicians get impressionable female reporters to give them favorable publicity. —Your Friends in Patronage County
Does anybody remember when Artis Conception saw that front-page story in The Fishwrap about how liberal extremists on Cincinnati Clown-cil had given me more power, and I couldn’t wait to show everybody the “Little Lap Dogs” I received as a Christmas Present. —Cincinnati’s Former Girly Mayor Mark Mallory
Does Santa really see you when you’re masturbating? —Disgraced and Defeated Former Anderson Township Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien
Please don’t let me forget to Tweet everybody a “Happy Kwanzaa.” —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
Please tell the yoofs there be only six mo’ shopliftin’ days till Kwanzaa! —Kwanzaa Klaus
This Christmas, we all sang carols around a giant Chabothead with a Star of Dubya on top. —Real Republicans in Green Township
Is Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP the gift that keeps on giving or what! —Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
We really like watching all those nice things The Blower writes about Ohio’s Delusional Republican Governor these days. —Ohio’s Disingenuous DemocRAT Party Boss David A. Pepper
Being out of jail this year will make it a wonderful Christmas. — Convicted Juvie Judge Traci Hunter
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
Last night at the Christmas Gift Exchange, everybody was comparing their new “Property Values” I just made up for their houses. —Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT Auditor
Who turned off the Amish Christmas Lights? —Adams County Tourist Board
The proof is always in the pudding! —Bill Cosby
Yesterday at the Conservative Agenda, I explained “The Four Stages of Life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
This year on Christmas, we’ll all be annoying everybody by talking about how Hillary won the popular vote, and trying to get everybody at Christmas dinner to sign our card thanking Obama. —Northern Kentucky DemocRATS
Next year if Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders and That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) plan to hold their Christmas parties at the same time and place, maybe they should look for much larger facilities. —Northern Kentucky Party Planners
Why do people always want to know what dumb blondes ask Santa at Christmas? —TV 19’s Trish the Dish
Sheree Paolello says that’s really one of those dumb blonde jokes, right? —Jack Atherton, (Channel 22.45 in Dayton in case you wanted to send me a Christmas present)
This year, we think you should have a special Christmas dinner for your pets. —(PETA) People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
AND DID YOU SEE WHERE THE OBAMA FAMILY’S CRAPPY CHRISTMAS CARD MADE NO MENTION OF …CHRISTMAS?
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of blasphemy to show that sacrilege will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who finds pictures of the Virgin Mary serving chicken wings the least bit offensive.
Which is why during the entire month of December, The Blower has attempted to offer only spiritual and uplifting holiday messages. Unfortunately, a few tasteless, sacrilegious, and politically incorrect items may have slipped through, such as pictures of Adolf Hitler’s Christmas Party and the Onion’s story about Jews celebrating Christmas with a ceremonial re-murdering of Christ.
UPLIFTING HOLIDAY MESSAGES HOT LINE
e-mail your elevating efforts today.
Some tasteless, sacrilegious, and politically incorrect items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally tasteless, sacrilegious, and politically incorrect subscribers
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Merry Christmas, Jesus
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.