THURSDAY, JUNE 30, 2016
Today, jokewriters all over America will probably be making jokes about Slick Willie’s “private meeting” with Obama’s Attorney General.

Meanwhile, So Far This Week On Late Night TV 

• I read that a record number of Americans are expected to travel this 4th of July. And if Trump wins the presidency, twice as many Americans are expected to travel this 4th of November.A new ballot measure will allow Californians to vote in November on whether to legalize recreational marijuana. Californians will have the option of voting either “Yes” or “Hell yes.”In a speech yesterday, Donald Trump spoke in favor of waterboarding. Trump said, “It’s how I got two of my three wives to say yes.”
• Yesterday, Donald Trump gave a speech at an industrial plant while standing in front of a giant wall of trash. Before the speech, Trump welcomed his new campaign manager, Mike Metaphor.
• Hillary Clinton unveiled her technology plan which would offer broadband internet access to all Americans. Then she quickly added, “Except for my husband.”
  onald Trump appears to be softening some of his anti-immigration views lately. So it sounds to me like someone’s shopping for a new wife.
• In Britain yesterday, 90-year-old Queen Elizabeth told reporters, “I’m still alive.” It was in response to the question, “What’s the first thing you tell Prince Charles every day?”
  Today, Democrats said the committee investigating Hillary Clinton’s involvement with Benghazi was a “witch hunt.” Hillary tried to respond, but just then a house fell on her.
• Because of England’s Brexit vote, there’s now talk in Scotland and Northern Ireland about leaving the UK. And when I say “talk,” I mean loud, angry, incomprehensible talk.
• Critics are calling those in Britain who voted to pull out of the European Union “racist” and “anti-immigrant.” After hearing this, Donald Trump said, “Wow, I’m running for leader of the wrong country.”
• Over the weekend, Bernie Sanders’ press secretary left his campaign. Bernie said, “Now it’s just me and my podiatrist.”

• In November, California voters will vote on a measure to legalize marijuana for recreational use. Supporters of the amendment turned in the required amount of signatures on time to get on the ballot. Whether the measure passes or not, turning something in on time is a huge victory for marijuana enthusiasts.
• A new Quinnipiac University poll has Trump and Clinton almost tied. This is the first tie for Donald Trump that wasn’t manufactured in China.

•  It’s hard to believe that there are only seven months left in the Obama presidency. You never know how much you’re going to miss a guy until you see the options.
• A lot of people are wondering what Barack Obama will do after he’s president. I read today that he is thinking about becoming a venture capitalist in Silicon Valley. So, evidently, Obama is going to be going for the cash. Good for him, but he may have to make a slight adjustment to his poster from “Change” to “Ka-ching!”
• Trump is making a real effort to appear more presidential these days. Yesterday, he went to a Pennsylvania recycling plant where he unveiled part of his economic platform. And instead of wearing his trademark baseball cap, he stood in front of a giant pile of garbage. Here’s the plan: Trump is going to revive the economy by turning in empties for the refund.

More Political Posters With Punch Lines

More Political Punch Lines Later on The Whistleblower Newswire