FRIDAY, JUNE 24, 2016

The Hall Of Fame Countdown Has Already Begun

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says he can’t believe all that hype this weekend about Disgraced Former Cincinnati Red Pete Rose’s being enshrined in the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame at Mediocre American Ball Park,  especially since MLB commissioner Rob Manfred rejected the convicted felon’s application for reinstatement to baseball late last year.

 

Even so, twenty members of the Big Red Machine will converge at the ball park tonight in commemoration of the 40th anniversary of the 1976 World Series champions. And Pete Rose, along with the likes of Johnny Bench and Tony Perez, will take the field ahead of the Reds first pitch against the San Diego Padres.

 

And The Blower can hardly wait till you see how our local folks turn tonight’s event into a Celebration of Sainthood for a Peter Edward Rose, whose Hall of Shame record of disgrace for the Game of Baseball will probably never be eclipsed. 

 

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor     

Why, it’s none other than former Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Norbert Nadel, whose unprecedented ruling gave Pete Rose a 14-day reprieve in his legal battle with then Baseball Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti.

 That’s why The Blower, whose Beloved Publisher Charles Foster Kane saw every home game Pete Rose played in as a Cincinnati Red, was honored to choose Judge Nadel (Now running for Hamilton County Recorder) to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Judge Nadel’s: “I still hope Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane never tells people what he saw in the back seat that time I  triple-dated with him and Ronny Klein when I actually had a date to a high school dance.”

The Blower also remembers that time when Judge Nadel also said, after Tracie Hunter’s Attorney claimed he would be ready for her trial because he could convince any jury once he began to preach that “black was white,” that was for sure the only hope that guy has of getting that bitch off.”

 “I LOVE MATHEMATICS” by Albert Einstein

The odds of winning the Florida lottery are 1 in 22,957,480.

The odds of winning the Powerball are 1 in 175,223,510.

The odds of winning Mega Millions are 1 in 258,890,850.

The odds of a disk drive failing in any given month are roughly one in 36. The odds of two different drives failing in the same month are roughly one in 36 squared, or 1 in about 1,300. The odds of three drives failing in the same month is 36 cubed or 1 in 46,656.

The odds of seven different drives failing in the same month (like what happened at the IRS when they received a letter asking about emails targeting conservative and pro Israeli groups) is 36 to the 7th power = 1 in 78,664,164,096. (that’s over 78 Billion for all of you FCPS alumni) In other words, the odds are greater that you will win the Florida Lottery 342 times than having those seven IRS hard drives crashing in the same month.

 “GHOSTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE,” by Monica Lewinsky

When Hillary Clinton is sworn in as President in 2017, she will finally be disposed of Bill will be spending her first night alone in the White House. She will have been waiting for a lifetime for this.

On the first night: Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?”

Washington says, “Never tell a lie.” “Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

 On the second night: the next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears, and Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.” “Ohhh! I really, really don’t want to do that,” Hillary replies.

On the Third night: the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appears and Hillary again asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Lincoln says,

“Go to the theater.”

 “WHICH SIDE OF THE FENCE,” Not Written by Jeff Foxworthy

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test.

If a Conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a Liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. 

If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. If a Liberal is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. A Liberal demands that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A Liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. If a Liberal decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Liberal will delete it because he’s “offended!“

Well, I forwarded it.

 AND A QUICKIE By Bubba Watson  

The Injured Golfer

A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell.

The party waiting behind her was a group from Washington, DC that included Barack Obama, who quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.

She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, “I’m Barack Obama and I hope you’ll vote for DemocRATS in the 2016 election.

She laughed and quickly said, “Sorry, Mr. President, I fell on my ass, not my head.”

These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.

 Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

Stories We’re Working On

• UK VOTES TO LEAVE THE EUROPEAN UNION

• ELITES GOT IT WRONG: Pollsters, Pundits, Historians, And Financiers

• GLOBAL ORDER JOLTED

• HILLARY, OBAMA On Wrong Side Of History

• SECOND MAJOR BLOW To Obama In As Many Days…

• TRUMP: Time To Believe In America

• BREXIT Could Signal Trump Winning White House

  
  

Whistleblower Web Poll          

         This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said was the worst part about a summer heat wave in Greater Cincinnati:

          (A) Feeling guilty for not giving free fans to the homeless: 2%

          (B) The way an elevator smells if you’re a midget: 1%

          (C) Really high electricity bills from Duke: 1%

          (D) Those idiot weather guessers on TV: 96%

            Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

PETE ROSE REDS HALL OF FAME HOT LINE

e-mail your money for autographed pictures today.

Some Pete Rose Worshiping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Pete Rose Worshiping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Trump: Let Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame!

   Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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