SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 2016

 More Politics Unusual

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1953, Communist spies Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were executed for passing U.S. atomic secrets to the Soviets. Today Obama and his Outlaw Attorney General Loretta Lynch would like to order a drone strike on The Blower’s New Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden, if they could ever locate him.

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Snowden’s “The public needs to know the kinds of things a government does in its name, or the ‘consent of the governed’ is meaningless.”

OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: Former Republican candidate Herman Cain said that one of the biggest lies about Donald Trump is that he is a racist. Then Trump was like, “Thank you, Jay Z. Give my best to your wife, Oprah.” One of Trump’s big supporters, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, is having a rough week. Lawyers working on the Bridgegate investigation claim that Christie destroyed evidence connecting him to the scandal, including a cellphone. Christie said he had no idea where the cellphone was, then his stomach started ringing.

CONAN O’BRIEN said: Donald Trump says, if elected, he is willing to “accept” a visit by Kim Jong Un. Kim Jong Un said, “No, thanks, that guy’s crazy.” One year ago today, Donald Trump announced he was running for president as he rode down an escalator. And our country’s been going down that escalator ever since. Oprah has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. When asked about Hillary’s chances of becoming the most powerful woman in the world, Oprah said, “Oh, I’m not stepping down.”

JIMMY KIMMEL said the DNC accused Russian hackers [of stealing its opposition research on Trump], and Trump is accusing the DNC of leaking it. Accusing the other party of leaking it is like accusing McDonald’s of leaking McNuggets. Trump said much of the information is false. And if people want to read hundreds of pages of false information about him, they should go to his Twitter page where he writes it himself. Donald Trump said he would, unlike previous presidents, sit down and meet with Kim Jong Un to make a kind of deal but only on U.S. soil. I don’t think that will work. I think they should meet but somewhere neutral, like at a Super Cuts.

AND SETH MEYERS said: oday is the one-year anniversary of Donald Trump’s announcement that he would run for president. It’s hard to believe it was only one year ago that Democrats were worried about Jeb Bush. A Georgia man is facing charges after he tried to enter a Waffle House completely naked. Ugh. Can you imagine? Walking into a Waffle House barefoot? In a new poll, 35% of Americans say they think Donald Trump will be elected president in November. They also said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish packing.”

NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: We found this offensive ode in his latest book “Erotica for the Elderly,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.    

          Seeing is Believing
          Ah the wondrous days of summer
          The cricket’s cheerful song.
          The see-thru clothes the girlies wear
          And the break-a-way lacy thong.

IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “HAPPY HOLIDAY,” every politician took part in the 42nd Annual Patronage County Watergate Day festivities, and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were discussing how things went. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.

OUR MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says when Hillary didn’t show up at Mrs. Cranley’s house last week, did Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT have a party at the drop in center and serve all those appetizers and assorted finger foods to the poor?

LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #198 says never speak of “Affirmative Action” —only of “Reverse Discrimination.” Elaborate by saying how angry it makes you that talented blacks, Mexican-Americans, and others who secured their jobs and their college places purely on their own merit will forever be looked on with suspicion and resentment.

JOHN GALT says, “I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says, Stocks fell on the week as investor sentiment continued to weaken ahead of next week’s “Brexit” vote. Uncertainty around the vote could keep markets on edge until the last vote is counted. Be prepared for additional volatility that could come along with this uncertainty by ensuring you own the mix of stocks and bonds that aligns with your comfort with risk and your long-term financial goals.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and Death and Taxes says Apple has informed the Republican leadership that, unlike prior election years, it would not be providing supplies (like those sweet iPads) or money for the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Apple joins HP in the ranks of major tech companies refusing to support the GOP convention because of Trump.

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.

FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how Donald Trump is now in favor of Profiling in the wake of last weekend’s Radical Islamic Terrorist Attack in Orlando. “The big difference between The Blower and Donald Trump on the profiling,” Kane said, “Is that The Blower has always been in favor of profiling, because it works.”

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL

Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

                 SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

 AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

MONDAY (JUNE 20) The Blower will be celebrating the Summer Solstice, but we’ll still be continuing to count down the 214 Days of Dishonesty for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

TUESDAY (JUNE 21) we’ll be checking to see how many Left Wing Activist groups have already been given permits to wreak havoc at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, and our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will certainly have something to say about that.

WEDNESDAY (JUNE 22) we’ll be following how our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to politicize last week’s Radical Islamic Terrorist Mass Murder in Orlando with a continuous stream of LGBT Propaganda, including publicizing unspecified efforts by Cincinnati officials “to ensure the safety of those attending the Cincinnati Pride Parade and related festivities.

THURSDAY (JUNE 23) we’ll be checking to see if Hillary has yet been indicted.

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JUNE 24) LIMERICK IS “When you pay your real estate taxes,” which just happen to be do on that date if you live in Hamilton County.

AND SATURDAY (JUNE 25) we’ll be remembering how in 1876 Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer had a fatal lapse in judgment when he underestimated the number of Indians on the other side of the hill at the Battle of the Little Big Horn.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT County Auditor only a few days before everybody’s jacked-up Property Taxes are due on June 24.

 WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
 e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

Whistleblower Video Of The Day
Painting Muhammad with Bob Ross | Louder With Crowder

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