SUNDAY, JUNE 5, 2016
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1968, Robert F. Kennedy was shot. And on this date in 2004, Ronald Reagan died. Which event do you think you’ll see eulogized on your TV news tonight?
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Reagan’s “This day doesn’t sound like it’s a good day for elected officials?”
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says none of the late night comedians’ jokes seemed very timely this week. Maybe they were all showing reruns.
WITH THE SWIMMING SEASON NOW UPON US, WE’RE JUMPING RIGHT IN WITH ANOTHER ODIOUS ODE FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the sweltering summer, we found this passionate poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Summer Sex Scandals,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Hot Weather Warmup
It’s time to grab your bathing suit
To have a refreshing swim
And check and see if all the girls
Have got their bikini trim.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “AFTER GREEN, BLUE IS OUR FAVORITE COLOR,” every politician was reminded of the fact that June 8, 2008 was the date Hamilton County officially turned forever “Blue,” and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were talking about how such a thing could’ve happened. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
OUR MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says he wonders how over-taxed payers can trust the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools to educate pre-schoolers. They promised the citizens if they build new school the kids would go to school and get better grades. That didn’t happen. They don’t have a good track record.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #162, Reclaim the language for conservatism: Instead of “Mainstream Media (MSM),” talk about the OLM— “Old Left Media.”
JOHN GALT says “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says, the much-anticipated employment report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) fell well short of estimates this morning: 38,000 new jobs was all the U.S. economy in the month of May. This is more than 100K shy of even the low range of analyst estimates prior to the report’s release.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and the heat must be getting to Bernie Sanders, now Free Grain Party Members will be watching Bernie’s Big Battle for California on June 7. Most amazingly, the largest group who donate money to the Sanders campaign is people who don’t have a job.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about his Anderson High School Class of 1956 Reunion Dinner last night at the Eastgate Holiday Inn. “I wouldn’t say there was some really old people there,” Kane explained, “but the average age was deceased.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JUNE 6) The Blower will be remembering D-Day in case our non-combatants at The Fishwrap forget, but we’ll still be continuing to count down the 228 Days of Dishonesty for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (JUNE 7) we’ll be staying up late to see how many votes Ohio Lame Duck Delusional Governor Kasich got in that big Republican Presidential Primary Election in California, and our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be mocking him no doubt.
WEDNESDAY (JUNE 8) we’ll be featuring our Annual Bluing of Hamilton County E-dition.
THURSDAY (JUNE 9) we’ll be checking to see if Hillary has yet been indicted.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JUNE 10) LIMERICK IS “On June 6 We Celebrate D-Day,” which will already have happened.
AND SATURDAY (JUNE 11) we’ll be checking out the latest Muslim jokes during Ramadan.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting For Same Sex Marriage” Portman. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artist Conception shows us Portman trying to think of something funny to say last night at the RINO Party State Dinner in Columbus.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video Of The Day
Coming To A Ladies Room Near You
Sent in by our Cross Dressing Attorney from Northern Kentucky, who always said clothes make the man, and vice versa.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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