THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 2016
Bluegrass Bellicosity
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says he’s not sure if the local news media will be covering the big Confederate Memorial Day Parade in Northern Kentucky on Friday, what with all symbols of the Confederacy being under siege during the Age of Obama.
But Confederate Memorial Day, as all Blower readers know, is officially celebrated in Kentucky on June 3, because Confederate President Jefferson Davis was born on that date in 1808 in Fairview, Kentucky. For those of you who don’t know where Fairview is, it’s near Hopkinsville, wherever in the hell that is.
Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says he learned at a Memorial Day parade how hookers came to be in Northern Kentucky. According to noted historian Mumford Tadwell, the term “hooker” owes its origin to former Campbell County politician Ezekial Hooker, a handsome figure of a man who, during Civil War days, spent so much time in the red-light district of Newport that the area became known as “Hooker’s District.”
It followed, then, that the ladies who earned their living in the bawdy houses of the district were called “hookers.”
No wonder Phyllis on Madison wonders why they don’t have a ceremony to honor Civil War heroes like General Hooker at the Piece Bell in Newport. Maybe they could get Jerry Springer to say a few words, that’s if he’s ever in town, or at least remembers to bring his checkbook.
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Howard Dean’s “I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags on their pickup trucks. We can’t beat George Bush unless we appeal to a broad cross-section of DemocRATS.” Yeah, right! Bluegrass Republicans really went for Obama in a big way. NOT!
Former Congressman Goof Doofus wonders if he would’ve gotten more votes if he’d told people he was Jefferson Davis’ great, great grandson.
Our Vanilla Hills Vigilante says their scheduled Civil War reenactment would probably be more realistic this weekend of they used real bullets.
Meanwhile on Channel 19 News, Trish the Dish just figured out why Confederate Memorial Day isn’t celebrated as a National Holiday. Trish says, “It’s because the South lost, right?”
This is the Official “Confederate Memorial Day in Kentucky” E-dition. Any other so-called Confederate Memorial Day in Kentucky E-dition you might see is surely a fake!
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our June fund-raising drive by Great, Great Grandsons of the Confederacy, for helping keep their dreams alive.
CONFEDERATE MEMORIAL DAY HOT LINE
Some Confederate-loving items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Confederate-loving Whistleblower Subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. Confederate Memorial Day Video of the Day
I See Fire: Confederate Memorial Day
Another Video Sent in Bluegrass Civil War Historian “Stonewall” Babbage, who says, “I can think of no better way to honor our fallen Civil War soldiers than by reminding Confederate flag-wavers that our current president is half-black.”
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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