MONDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2015

At The Hamilton County Courthouse

         CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street told the story about the week before Christmas when Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka went to see Santa, to ask the jolly old elf Santa why he hadn’t stopped by the Burka house during the past few years. “What happened to that Magic Blue-faced Hamilton County Party Boss Alex T. Mall Cop GOP Doll I gave you in 2006?” Santa asked.

“I still have my Alex T. doll sitting on my desk at Demo-Labor Party Headquarters,” Tim said.

“And hasn’t done everything possible to keep Hamilton County “Blue” ever since?” Santa replied.

“No County DemocRAT Party Boss could’ve asked for anything more,” Tim replied.

“I don’t see how you could ever ask for anything more,” Santa explained. “Because if Alex T. isn’t a gift that just keeps on giving, the elves and I don’t know what is.”

Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us what that conversation must have looked like.

Meanwhile, In Northern Kentucky

 Bluegrass Bufreau Chief Ken CamBoo says the most amazing thing about tomorrow night’s combined Christmas Party sponsored Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders and That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) will be the number of people in the legal and law enforcement communities who were never frivolously sued by “Crazy Eric” Deters when he still had his law license. Also amazing will be the number of people there who describe “Crazy Eric” as “Somewhat Deranged.”

So now in Crazy Eric’s honor, we could all sing some of “Crazy Eric’s” favorite Christmas Carols for the Mentally Disturbed:

SCHIZOPHRENIA:  “Do You Hear What I Hear?”

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: “We Three Kings Disoriented Are”

DEMENTIA: “I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas”

NARCISSISTIC: “Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me”

MANIC: “Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks  and Trees and…..”

PARANOID: “Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me”

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: “Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire” 

PERSONALITY DISORDER: “You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why”

ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER: Silent Night, Holy Oooh Look At The Froggy – Can I Have A Chocolate, Why Is France So Far Away…”

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ….

Finally, At Yesterday’s Meeting Of The Conservative Agenda…

            …Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how you can tell if you’re a Grinch at Christmas time. Kane explained:

          You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.

          You give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts.

          Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin.

          You steal gifts from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins.

          And you reuse last year’s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name.