Thursday, December 17, 2015  

 Paul Ryno’s First Deal Is Just Like Boehner’s Old Deals

This morning, The Blower reported just a few of the things that were wrong with House Speaker Paul Ryno’s disastrous budget deal.

Ryan Sells Out for a Fundamental Transformation: Gives Obama EVERYTHING

(1) Ryan’s Omnibus Fully Funds DACA
(2) Ryan’s Omnibus Funds Sanctuary Cities
(3) Ryan’s Omnibus Funds All Refugee Programs
(4) Ryan’s Omnibus Funds All of the Mideast Immigration Programs That Have Been Exploited by Terrorists in Recent Years
(5) Ryan’s Omnibus Funds Illegal Alien Resettlement
(6) Ryan’s Omnibus Funds the Release of Criminal Aliens
(7) Ryan’s Omnibus Quadruples H-2B Foreign Worker Visas
(8) Ryan’s Omnibus Funds Tax Credits for Illegal Aliens
(9) Ryan’s Omnibus Locks-In Huge Spending Increases
(10) Ryan’s Omnibus Fails to Allocate Funds to Complete the 700-Mile Double-Layer Border Fence That Congress Promised the American People

No wonder this afternoon Rush Limbaugh was hammering Republicans in Congress for the handling of the current omnibus spending bill, which Limbaugh said was “rubber stamped” while most of the country was focused on GOP presidential politics. Limbaugh pointed out that Republicans in Congress have no tools to take on Obama, since they’ve taken the power of the purse and impeachment off of the table, which Limbaugh said was out of fear from congressional Republicans.

Others said Ryno’s first major legislative achievement was a total and complete sell-out of the American people masquerading as an appropriations bill.

Tonight, Paul Ryno and Nancy Pelosi are poised to pass their bipartisan $1.1 trillion bill to fund the government, with GOP and DemocRAT whip teams going into overdrive to boost their numbers before the Friday morning vote.

Maybe that’s why Donald Trump says: “If anyone needed more evidence of why the American people are suffering at the hands of their own government, look no further than the budget deal announced by Speaker Ryan. In order to avoid a government shutdown, a cowardly threat from an incompetent President, the elected Republicans in Congress threw in the towel and showed absolutely no budget discipline.

“The American people will have to absorb higher deficits, greater debt, less economic liberty and more corporate welfare. Congress cannot seem to help itself in bending to every whim of special interests. How can they face their constituents when they continue to burden our children and grandchildren with debts they will never be able to repay? Our government is failing us, so we must do something about it. Who knows how bad things will be when the next administration comes in and has to pick up the pieces?

“The only special interest not being served by our government is the American people. It is time we imposed budget discipline by holding the line on spending, getting rid of waste, fraud and abuse, and by taking on our debt. To do these things, we need a President who can lead the fight to hold Congress and the rest of government accountable. Together, we can Make America Great Again.”

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1903 near Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, Orville and Wilbur Wright made the first successful flight in history of a self-propelled, heavier-than-air aircraft. Orville piloted the gasoline-powered, propeller-driven biplane, which stayed aloft for 12 seconds and covered 120 feet on its inaugural flight. Orville’s luggage, however, wound up in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, on Ground Hog’s Day. Every day is like Groundhog Day during the Obama Administration. And just think, we’ll all have to endure another 400 more of them before Obama’s out of office.

TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO THIS WEEK: Edition #30 of the Original Whistleblower, was published on December 18, 1990 (back in the really low tech days when The Blower used to be printed and delivered all over town). That week’s “Really Big Story” featured then-Hamilton County Clerk of Courts Joe Deters’ “Yes, Virginia, there is corruption at the courthouse.” The Top Ten List was then-Commissioner Steve Chabot’s ways to cut the county budget. Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane wrote about “Anti-Semitism on Fountain Square.”  WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham was defending Joe Deters. Jeff Ruby was organizing a Celebrity Welcome Home From Prison Party for Pete Rose on January 7, 1991.  Alan Falfa was first featured as a “Seediest Kid of All.” And we published “21 Ways to be Offensive at a Christmas Party.” [YOU CAN READ THAT ENTIRE EDITION HERE]

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER VERSE: For those of you planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup at Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Christmas Party at the Schmidt Run Estates at 771 Wards Corner Road, where the disgraced former U.S. Congresswoman plans to announce her return to politics, let’s all sing the ninth verse of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by Mean Jean’s Former Sister-in-Spending, Michelle Glass Slipper, who we recall as John Pepper’s $2,500 (originally reported to be $5,000) Whore (so she’s only half the Whore you thought she was), and who also betrayed her constituents by supporting more wasteful over-taxed payers’ spending on other local feel-good projects. It goes something like this:

            On the Ninth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
            Nine Bills o’ Spending,
            Eight Dems a Booing,
            Seven Wits a Wagging,
            Six Crooked Cronies,
            Five Libelous Liars,
            Four Screeching Tires,
            Three Borgman Cartoons,
            Two Red Dresses,
            And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.

          It’s really beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, isn’t it, Portman.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and The Blower Christmas Dancers will also be there, showing you why they’re favorites at holiday parties all over the tri-state.

OBAMA ORNAMENTS: And what better way for Obama’s female followers to demonstrate their fanatical fervor than to purchase another Obama Christmas ornament. That’s why this limited edition “Obama Orgasm” ornament for only $19.95 is so spiritually uplifting, as Obama Supporters in the Press continue to promise “400 More Days of Christmas” during Obama’s second term, with proceeds benefitting Obama’s 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign.

STILL IN A HOLIDAY MOOD, Adams County Historian Scott Seaman says “I love Christmas Lights, but they remind me of politicians! They all hang together, half the suckers don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t that bright.” Still, the Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located in East Jesus says those Amazing Amish Christmas Lights in the Wheat Ridge Community are really spectacular this year. If only Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s office had given directions for the opening ceremonies two weeks ago, all those people wouldn’t still be driving around every night looking for the lights.

Wenstrup’s office has probably been getting a few calls tonight from outraged Republicans wondering how he plans to vote on Paul Ryno’s Sellout of America tomorrow.

Meawhile back in the inner city, Kwanzaa Klaus says, “Please tell all the yoofs and racial racketeering protesters there be only ten mo’ shopliftin’ days till Kwanzaa!”

IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Ken CamBoo reports next Monday is the Winter Solstice, and Dave the Druid says “That’s why we like to call our holiday the Wiccan Sabbat of Yule. How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: They don’t screw I a light bulb. They screw in stone circles.

Monday is also World Fake Orgasm for Peace Day, and Miss Vicki says people keep asking her if her Big “O” Party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club is “for real,” since they’re not 100% certain World Orgasm for Peace Day, being celebrated on the eve of the Winter Solstice is a real event. When in doubt, Google it!

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how he thinks most House Republicans will be voting tomorrow on House Speaker Paul Ryno’s $1.1 Trillion cave in to Obama and the Dishonest DemocRATS. Maybe Rush Limbaugh is right. Maybe it is time to disband the Republican Party.

The Seediest Kids of All

The Alan Falfa Story

 The holiday season has always been a depressing time for Alan Falfa and his family, because there’s never enough money to buy Christmas presents.

So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) sent over an electric train for Alan, an electric saw for Alan’s father so he can get some part-time work as a scab concrete worker on the doomed Cincinnati Streetcar Construction Team, an electric blanket to keep Alan’s arthritic grandmother warm on cold winter nights, and an electric hair dryer for Alan’s 15-year-old sister Missy, so she can look nice when she goes out with that decrepit former Channel 9 sportscaster who promised her a job as an intern at the station after Horny in Hebron’s favorite massage parlor in Covington was padlocked.

The Falfa family has you to thank, since it’s your liberal guilt giving throughout the year which makes it all possible. Now if those heartless bastards from Duke Energy don’t turn off the Falfa Family’s electricity on Christmas Eve like they do every year, things will be a whole lot merrier. 

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

 More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

 Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Kasich for America Campaign, in exchange for all that great publicity we’d given their candidate during the 2016 Presidential Primary Campaign.

CHRISTMAS WISH LIST HOT LINE

e-mail your heartfelt desires today.

Whistleblower Heartwarming Video of the Day

Evil Santa Claus

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