SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2015
More Politics Unusual
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says despite an international uproar and condemnation by Obama and nearly all of those running for the presidency, Donald Trump’s proposed ban on Muslims coming to the United States has the support of a sizable majority of Republicans – and a plurality of all voters. A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 66% of Likely Republican Voters favor a temporary ban on all Muslims entering the United States until the federal government improves its ability to screen out potential terrorists from coming here. Just 24% oppose the plan, with 10% undecided. [READ MORE HERE]
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: Hillary Clinton told People Magazine that her granddaughter called her “grandma” for the first time on the same night as the first Democratic debate. Then Hillary gazed into her granddaughter’s eyes and said, “This is my night, not yours. Pick your moments.” Conan O’Brien said: Donald Trump has canceled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, “They already have a wall and a fear of Muslims. My work there is done.” And SethMeyers said The New York Times and CBS released a poll this morning that shows Donald Trump in his strongest position of primary season. While Jeb Bush remains in the SAME position – fetal.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says after spending nine months on the run, former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein is captured on this day in 2003, and will be interesting to see how Liberal Pundits and Obama Supporters in the Press try to rewrite history and give Obama credit for it.
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose OustObama12’s “We have already reached the point where we do not believe anything Obama says. He has lost his credibility and the government has lost the confidence of the people to run healthcare, the postal service, the welfare programs, and just about every program that they get involved in.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 351 is to say grace before meals. Bringing God into the picture always puts liberals ill at ease, because it reminds them you think there’s a power more important than government. Then to make they feel really uncomfortable, after you say grace, kneel down and give them a Tebow.
GOING GALT The phrase “going John Galt” or simply “going Galt” is used to describe productive members of society cutting back on work in response to the projected increase in U.S. marginal tax rates, increased limits on tax deductions, and the use of tax revenues for causes they regard as immoral
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “Something Special,” which told us why there are so many holiday specials on TV, first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 16, 1981, and was personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today we have the “solution” from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, found in “Poems for Politicians,” available at better Kroger bookstores everywhere.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.
All the other reindeer loved him
‘Cause they all know he blows.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says this year’s prestigious holiday parties are already in full swing, but now Conservatives with a smidgen of common sense are avoiding next week’s Chintzy Christmas event being planned by COAST’s Litigious Lawyer Chris Finney, where any political wannabee can get in for free for $5, and you’ll still have to pay for your own food and drinks. You might even get to meet some Dishonest DemocRAT Friends of Finney’s, along with the area Congressman who last year voted for Boehner’s latest 1600-page cave-in to Obama in the House without even reading it.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Butch LeDeux Story.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Stock market investors are ready for the first US Federal Reserve interest rate hike in nearly a decade this week, but they may not be fully prepared for all of the nuanced remarks likely to accompany that announcement. If the Fed lays out an aggressive schedule of future rate increases, stock markets could become very volatile and even plummet, say strategists who expect a market-calming central bank announcement detailing the patience of policymakers.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, but has banned Terry Jackson, Darrell Kinney, and Demetrius Williams even after Conservative Columnist Ann Coulter accused Federal Judge Mrs. $tan Che$ley (Who outlawed Racial Profiling by Cops) of profiling the terrible trio following their robbery, break-in, and attack at the Che$ley’s Indian Hill McMansion.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way American Values have been continually denigrated during the Age of Obama as our nation is have being taken over by those who will destroy it Morally, Financially, and Politically. It’s not just the Stupid People who voted for Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS, but the rest of us have also allowed it to happen, all in the Names Of Ignorance, Apathy, Laziness, and Being Politically Correct. Shame on all of us for continuing to let it happen!
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (DECEMBER 14) The Blower will be bringing you the Truth About Sants as we mark the 402 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (DECEMBER 15) we’ll be watching the Final GOP Presidential Debate of 2015, our waiting for Real Subscribers to tell us why Rand Paul and John Kasich should now get out of the race while they still have a shred of dignity in their Real E-Mails.
WEDNESDAY, (DECEMBER 16) we’ll be counting down the number of shoplifting days until Kwanzaa.
THURSDAY (DECEMBER 17) we’ll be celebrating “National Maple Syrup Day” by boiling saps, that’s if we can find a way to convince those saps to sit in a caldron while we boil them.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (DECEMBER 18) LIMERICK IS: “The most fun this holiday season.”
AND SATURDAY (DECEMBER 19) be we’ll be getting ready for our “Winter Solstice” on at 11:49 PM EST on December 21, just in time for Druids to celebrate the Winter Solstice, along with “World Orgasm for Peace Day.” The Blower’s invitation to our Annual World Orgasm for Peace Day Orgy at the Fort Mitchell County Club says “Y’all Come.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Disgraced Former GOP House Speaker, who stopped by last week to ask why he hadn’t seen his name in The Blower, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Obama finally tells the truth!
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