SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2015
More Politics Unusual
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says When is terrorism not terrorism? Some have charged that the Black Friday shooting incident at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado was politically motivated and a domestic terror act. But some of those same folks are having a harder time concluding that Wednesday’s mass killing in San Bernardino, California was indeed the act of terrorists, despite the shooters’ ties to radical Islam. Both incidents prompted Obama and other senior DemocRATS to call for more gun control. Most Americans say no, the incident in Colorado was not terrorism. Rasmussen Reports will tell you early next week whether voters view the San Bernardino shootings as more indicative of a gun control problem or a terrorist problem. [READ MORE HERE]
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: Things haven’t been going too great for Jeb Bush, but he’s not giving up. His campaign has spent the most money on TV ads, $30 million. I don’t want to say Jeb’s run too many ads, but his new Secret Service code name is “Geico.” Hillary Clinton recently started following a bunch of new people and organizations on Instagram, including the home improvement channel, HGTV. When asked why, Hillary was like, “Oh, I’m getting a new house soon.” Hillary went on an Instagram binge and followed a bunch of celebrities like Beyonce, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. When asked if Bill Clinton follows any women on Instagram, he was like, “All of them.” Conan O’Brien said: It’s come out that last year, a man was able to get past the Secret Service and speak with Obama by pretending to be a congressman. The Secret Service realized he wasn’t a congressman because he was willing to be seen with Obama.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says today on this date in 1884, work on the Washington Monument was completed, but as early as 1783, Congress decided that a memorial to the great Revolutionary War general should be constructed near the site of the new Congressional building. For Congress, 101 years is pretty quick work. And maybe in another 101 years, our Clueless Congress will have finally cleaned up the mess of America’s Dark Ages that Obama’s created when he leaves office in only another 411 more days unless he’s impeached!
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose that sarcastic “Time flies when you’re having fun” expression.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 341 is to invite your favorite liberal couple over for dinner. Be sure to pull the seat out and then slide it in for the lady — and then do the same for the man. It’s easy and so much fun to unman a Liberal — and what’s he going to do: complain that you’re not being sexist?
GOING GALT is a right-wing blog catchphrase inspired by the tax policy pushed by Obama. According to RationalWiki, the idea is that having to pay 4.9% more in taxes on the part of their income that exceeds $250,000 per year constitutes such an intolerable burden that they should deliberately cut back on their business to lower their income to $249,999 per year, or flee the U.S. altogether. It is largely promoted by idiots who can’t do math, and by scaremongers trying to take advantage of idiots who can’t do math.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “From the Soup Line to the Ridiculous” where we learned why then-Cincinnati Mayor David Mann organized a soup line instead of greeting President Ronald Reagan at the Westin, first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 9, 1981, was personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today we have the “solution” from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, found in “Poems for Politicians,” available at better Kroger bookstores everywhere.
It’s Just That Simple
It’s time to stop the spenders cold.
And make the taxes go.
When they ask you for a “little bit more”
Just tell the bastards “No.”
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says there seemed to be very little sympathy for the victim from people commenting on The Fishwrap’s story about those poor misunderstood yoofs who got caught after breaking into $tan Che$ley’s house and robbing our Disbarred Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced DemocRAT, Clinton-Loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-Yet-Indicted Trial Attorney, the Kentucky winner of Eighth Annual Whistleblower Turkey Decorating Contest for Thanksgiving, where the person who was selected as the biggest turkey of the year would be shown with his head on the body of a turkey. One comment to The Fishwrap’s ode from another attorney whose name you would surely know was “Good damn luck getting anything out of that old bastard, boys, trust me.” And another attorney said, “Those idiots passed up $ 25 million worth of get away cars. They deserved to get caught.”
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Gex Wanker Story.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says The jobs report removes all remaining questions about the Fed’s next move, helping move market discourse from the timing of a lift-off to the pace of future interest rate increases. Friday’s November jobs report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics reconfirmed the positive momentum started by the last month’s reading. Not only did the ‘headline’ jobs number come ahead of estimates (211K vs. estimates of 200K), but the report’s internals in terms of wages, the unemployment rate, and revisions were also painting a favorable-looking picture.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, including
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS (especially Black Voters who rob rich white DemocRATS in Indian Hill for FREE Stuff like Terry Jackson, Darrell Kinney and Demetrius Williams), RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way American Values have been continually denigrated during the Age of Obama as our nation is have being taken over by those who will destroy it Morally, Financially, and Politically. It’s not just the Stupid People who voted for Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS, but the rest of us have also allowed it to happen, all in the Names Of Ignorance, Apathy, Laziness, and Being Politically Correct. Shame on all of us for continuing to let it happen!
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (DECEMBER 7) The Blower will be publishing our Special “Pearl Harbor Day” E-dition, as we mark the 409 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (DECEMBER 8) we’ll be counting down the number of shoplifting days until Kwanzaa and, our Real Subscribers will telling us what they’re shoplifting for with their Real E-Mails.
WEDNESDAY, (DECEMBER 9) we’ll be publishing our Annual 2014 Multi-cultural Holidays E-dition.
THURSDAY (DECEMBER 10) we’ll looking to see if The Fishwrap has found any local Muslim backlash to promote, all in the name of Political Correctness.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (DECEMBER 11) LIMERICK IS: “What if Santa turned out to be gay?”
AND SATURDAY (DECEMBER 12) we’ll be with Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup when he turns on those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County Saturday night.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio First District Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead, hearing from an unexpected judicial candidate who’s pushing a plan to replace 264,000 Americans With Foreign Workers, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
People Versus The Winter
Just a little something to remind us some real winter weather is on the way!
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today. 
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