Wednesday, September 30, 2013

Today Is The Last Wednesday in September

          And Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says everybody in Washington remembering the glorious days of 2013 when all of Washington, D.C. was doing the Government Shutdown Dance:

That was when the House Speaker Formerly Known as Boehner’s dared to defy Obama and passed a bill that would continue funding the government at current spending levels for nearly three months, but would strip money appropriated to fund ObamaCare. Then Harry Reid’s Senate DemocRATS stripped the defund language from the continuing resolution, and threw the hot potato back to the House. That Saturday night, House Republicans amended the temporary spending bill that would avert a government shutdown to include a delay of ObamaCare by one year, and sent the bill back to the Senate, where DemocRATS had threatened to reject it, and Obama had promised to veto it, whenever he came in from the golf course, while Obama’s OFA Organization kept busy dunning people for $5 donations before the big fundraising deadline on September 30.

Which made it look like come the dawn, we might actually have one of those government shutdowns people in Washington always threaten, but never follow through with, while all Members of Congress agreed to make themselves available for TV interviews 24/7 throughout  the Shutdown Crisis.

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s “Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.”

Hurley the Historian said on that day in 1918, President Woodrow Wilson gave a speech to Congress in support of Women’s Suffrage, because although the House of Representatives had approved a 19th constitutional amendment giving the right to vote, the Senate had yet to vote on the measure.

The Blame Game Had Already Begun

And in true Liberal fashion, so had the noxious name calling. Obama had already branded House Republicans “Terrorists” and “Extremists.” Disgraceful DemocRAT Senator Barbara Mikulski railed against “TEA Baggers” (a crude sexual slang for a man dangling his balls into another person’s mouth) from the Senate Floor after the Continuing Resolution Vote. Top Obama Adviser Dan Pfeiffer compared Republicans to “Suicide Bombers.” And Liberal Bloggers wanted to see Republican Senator Ted Cruz murdered. That Saturday night on Twitter, Disingenuous DemocRAT Congressman Jim Moran even complained about having to work on the weekend.

Conservatives were blaming spineless Senate Republicans who voted for cloture on the House Continuing Resolution bill and Anderson TEA Party Patriots said Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell was a prime specimen of a newly identified species of invertebrates called “Spine-No Maximus” which spoke like Conservatives but voted like big-government progressives.   

Also, Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddle” fans were just waiting to see if one of our distinguished gentlemen calls folks on the other side of the aisle such names rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.

 The Blower Could Hardly Wait

         How soon would we start hearing all those Government Shutdown Jokes? “Saturday Night Live” had already mocked Obama’s ObamaCare Rollout the previous week, devoting the entire opening skit to ridiculing Obama’s his signature healthcare law. Watch it here.

The Blower couldn’t stop thinking about what happened during the 1995 government shutdown. That’s when Disgraced DemocRAT Former Pant’s Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton got his first blow job from Monica Lewinski in the Oval Office. 

But as an Online Commenter pointed out: the association between any pending government shutdown and that of the wanton lasciviousness as hallmark of a lecherous, utterly flawed being that we have come to expect of Bill Clinton, was certainly questionable, specious at best. But any time is a good time to ravage a man so very much deserved of our never-ending enmity and contempt, not at all like Monday night’s mirth-filled exchange between Michelle Obama and Stephen Colbert about all those times in the Oval Office Slick Willie stuck his Peyrone’s bent penis in an overweight Jewish girl’s mouth.

In Cincinnati, everybody was wondering which would be the bigger story— the Federal Government Shutdown or the Cincinnati Reds’ final road trip to Pittsburgh that year for Dusty’s Little Reds Machine’s one-and-done Wild Card Playoff Game. We could hardly wait to see the front page of The Fishwrap.         

Finally, at that morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all those complaints we would likely to hear during the upcoming Government Shutdown. “If you think you’ve heard people complaining before,” Kane explained, “just wait until all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters figure out that Free Health Care they thought Obama promised them wouldn’t really be free, because then, during the 1,207 days during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, they would have a government they would truly deserve. Unfortunately, so would the rest of us.”

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN HOT LINE

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Some government shutdown favoring items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally government shutdown favoring subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

 Whistleblower Video of the Day

Count Obama’s Lies in One Speech!

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