SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2015

More Politics Unusual

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Pope Francis’ visit this week to the United States is likely to have put religion on the minds of many more Americans. Most Americans have a favorable opinion of the new pope and think he’s good for the Catholic Church. It’s clear, too, that most see an essential place for religion in this country, but there’s been a sizable jump in the number who don’t think the government agrees. Still, while voters have mixed feelings about the impact religious leaders have on government policy, they are quite clear that they don’t want someone in the pulpit telling them how to vote. [READ MORE HERE]

OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: “While he was in Washington, the Pope gave a major speech to Congress, and asked them to accept immigrants as their own children. Then congressmen were like, “Eh, we’ve already got enough children our wives don’t know about.” Conan O’Brien said: “Yesterday at one of the Pope’s appearances, you probably saw the footage, a 5-year-old Mexican-American girl broke through security. Luckily, she was tackled by 16 Republican presidential candidates.” Jimmy Kimmel said: “The pope was in Washington, D.C., this morning. He addressed Congress. He gave a 15-minute speech in just under an hour.” Seth Meyers said: “After Pope Francis became the first pontiff to address a joint session of Congress today, he went to meet with a group of homeless people. That’s right, he spoke to some people who spend all their time begging for money, and then he met with the homeless.” And Stephen Colbert said: “Our entire show is dedicated to Pope Francis’ historic visit to the U.S. It’s an hour long, so it might be the shortest Catholic service you’ll ever sit through.”

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this says on this date in 1964, the Warren Commission Report on the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was released, and amazingly today, nobody from the Obama Administration has yet blamed Conservative Republicans in the House or the TEA Party.

MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Former President Harry Truman’s: “I never had any thought that when I set up the CIA that it would be injected into peacetime cloak and dagger operations…..There is something about the way the CIA has been functioning that is casting a shadow over our historic position, and I feel that we need to correct it.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #261 is to say to a liberal, “You remember the Reagan era, when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with us? Well, now we have Obama, no hope, and no cash.”

JOHN GALT says, “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.” 
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “HAVE A NICE WEEKEND” our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about One sure sign of the high degree in which the work ethic is not held in Patronage County these days is everybody’s fanatical obsession with telling everyone they meet to have a nice weekend. This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on August 15, 1984.

MORE PERVERT POETRY: September’s almost over, and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.                  

          September Screwing
          The lady likes to have her fun
          But not to become a mama.
          So she took her daily birth control
          And mailed the bill to Obama.                             

MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says we never heard much about those geeks and freaks Obama invited to the White House to meet Pope Francis at the opening ceremony. Word is the Vatican had taken great offense at the Obama administration’s decision to invite transgender activists, the first openly gay Episcopal bishop, and an activist nun who leads a group criticized by the Vatican for its silence on abortion and euthanasia. 

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says U.S. with the odds of a September rate hike put to bed, investors on Wall Street searched for a catalyst this week to drive momentum. Without one, it was a week of heightened volatility.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, especially Black Voters. However, Jeb Bush suggested on Thursday that he wants to promise African-American voters “hope and aspiration” rather than “free stuff.” Asked by a white man at a South Carolina event how he planned to reach out to the black community, Bush responded: “Our message is one of hope and aspiration. It isn’t one of division and get in line and we’ll take care of you with free stuff. Our message is one that is uplifting — that says you can achieve earned success.” The comment, which was first highlighted by the Washington Post, is akin to remarks made by Mitt Romney during his 2012 bid for president. Romney, who won just six percent of the black vote, was criticized for suggesting in 2012 that he would shun voters interested in “more free stuff.” That remark came after Romney was booed by the crowd at an N.A.A.C.P. event.

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS (including Black Voters), RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how the Pope was exploited by all those politicians and the news media this week.  “Do you know what all of those situations had in common?” Kane asked. “They’re a bunch of greedy people taking personal advantage of a pious old man.  God tends to frown on that”

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL

Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

MONDAY (SEPTEMBER 28) The Blower will covering Obama’s “Historic” meeting with Bad Vlad Putin at the United Nations while we’re continuing to count down the 479 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

TUESDAY (SEPTEMBER 29) we’ll be reporting on all the Stupid Questions we received Monday on “Ask a Stupid Day, our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be asking a few of their own.

WEDNESDAY, (SEPTEMBER 30) we’ll be celebrating the “National Mud Pack Day,” not to be confused with “Mudslinging Day,” which is every day for politicians. 

THURSDAY (OCTOBER 1) we’ll be avoiding “World Vegetarian Day,” while at the same time making fun of every Vegan we meet.

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (OCTOBER 2) LIMERICK IS: “It’s only four more days till the 2015 elections.”

AND SATURDAY (OCTOBER 3) is “Frugal Fun Day.” Whoever thought that one up must’ve really been a cheap-ass.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially John Boehner as we all remember our Beloved Whistleblower Motto as The Blower continues to count down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until he’s totally and completely resigned, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.

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Here are The Blower’s guidelines for elections-related guest columns and letters to the editor. Columns must be no more than 100 words, but letters may be up to 57 words. All letters and columns are subject to extreme editing. Columns must include a color nude photo (jpg format) and a complete background check of the author. For levies and ballot issues, we will run one column opposed to the issue and one column against. Columns should be from official anti-levy groups.

 WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

 Whistleblower Video of the Week

NBC Plays Brutal Collection Of Clinton Flip-Flopping Clips

Probably not sent in by Denise Driehaus, Hamilton County Apologist for Hillary

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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