SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2015

This Sunday in America…

… at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane was asking his Political Parishioners to ask for God’s help to find a new Conservative Speaker of the House to replace Ohio RINO John Boehner, who’s finally scheduled to resign in only 33 more days “to avoid doing more irreparable harm to Congress.”

When the Conservative faithful filled the church, looking forward to the Good Word that would be coming from the Good Right-Wing Reverend, they already had an inkling it was going to be a doozy: palm branches had been laid out, everything was polished and freshly cleaned, the curtains were open, and even the sun was shining.  It reminded many long-time Persons of Consequence of the last time they had welcomed a new leader, out with the old and in with the new. Yes sir, it was going to be a good sermon!

Reverend Kane started with a passage on the hypocrisy of the Pharisees…those shallow leaders whom Jesus so often chastened.  Jesus spoke of their partners in thievery, the fatcat money laundering fools he chased out with whips, in Matthew 21! 

Kane went on to explain to the Conservative faithful, that just as it is written in Matthew 23 – Beware of these Pharisees – these hypocrites of the highest order – leaders of the country!  They claim to be leaders and doers, but they are neither!  Do not be like them!  For as Luke says in chapter 11, verse 39: (they) are full of robbery and wickedness!

And they shall be cast out in to darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth!

And if there is one thing hypocritical leaders like Boehner knows how to do: it’s weeping!

Now you see why this Sunday we’re praying for Conservative Leadership in Congress.