SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2015
More Politics Unusual
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Most voters think Hillary Clinton needs to do a better job of explaining her use of a private e-mail server when she was secretary of State and suspect that she broke the law. 59% of Likely U.S. Voters think it’s likely Clinton broke the law by sending and receiving e-mails containing classified information through a private e-mail server while serving as Secretary of State.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: “At last night’s Republican debate on CNN, one of the big moments was when Jeb Bush admitted to smoking marijuana during high school. Marijuana denied having anything to do with Jeb Bush. “I wasn’t anywhere near that dude.” Conan O’Brien said, “Last night’s debate at the Reagan Library was the most watched program in CNN history. CNN said they were thrilled with the ratings but even happier they could finally show a plane that wasn’t missing.” James Corden said, Clearly last night the breakout star was former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina. This woman last night brought it and crushed it, after an admittedly slow start. In her defense, everything from HP does take a little while to warm up.” Jimmy Kimmel said, “Every time [the CNN debate] went to Donald Trump, Jeb Bush got this polite but disgusted look on his face. The same look a librarian would give you if you returned a book with a slice of cheese in the middle.” And Set Meyers said, “Jeb Bush admitted last night that he smoked marijuana in college. Not that shocking. But based on the speed he was talking, I’m pretty sure Ben Carson smoked marijuana at every commercial break.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1780, Benedict Arnold committed treason and today, Obama and his Disingenuous DemocRATS are calling House Republicans who didn’t vote to fund his Whatever Against ISIS traitors, too. It seems Boehner and his RINOs in the House caved in again to Obama on his cockamamie campaign, while Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate won’t be voting a broad resolution authorizing military strikes against the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) until after the 2016 elections. Maybe that’s why Our Special Ed teacher who knows a lot about behavior modification says we should give Boehner a pat on the back. We can always kick him in the ass later.
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Lisa Shearin’s “It’s not treason if you win.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #268 is to ask a liberal, “If God really cares about cruelty to animals, how come he made foie gras taste so delicious?”
JOHN GALT says, “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “KRAUTFEST” our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about why only in the Blue Chip City could Oktoberfest take place in the middle of September and nobody ask why. This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on September 18, 1985.
MORE POETRY FROM A PERVERT: It’s almost time for our Autumnal Equinox, and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Autumn Amour
Fall is here
Girls cover up
Now there’s more to take off
Before boys can start to shtup!
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says why when White Mt. Washington resident Adam Stephens was shot to death at the intersection of Corbly Road and Salvador Street just before 3 AM Friday, our Feckless Fishwrappers wouldn’t identify Black woman Nakai Yearby as his murderer. And when David Richardson was arrested for robbing his “victim” after engaging in a sex act, the same Fishwrappers wouldn’t identify the sex of the victim. Probably because those facts didn’t fit the narratives our Local Kneepad Liberals in the Press are promoting these days.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says U.S. stock U.S. stocks sank Friday, with the S&P 500 and the Dow Jones Industrial Average closing down for the week, as Federal Reserve’s decision to leave interest rates unchanged fueled fears about global economic growth.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, especially all those Middle Eastern 85,000 refugees in 2016 and 100,000 in 2017 Obama is planning to lavish with cash and benefits.
But don’t we already have problems with concentrations of Middle Eastern refugees or migrants coming in and taking over communities?” They don’t want to assimilate. They do not want to become Americans. They only want the free stuff from America.”
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the latest controversy surrounding Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson’s statement that says Islam is antithetical to the Constitution, and he doesn’t believe that a Muslim should be elected president. “You see what a disaster it’s been having Obama in the White House,” Kane explained, “and he’s not even admitting he’s a Muslim.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (SEPTEMBER 21) The Blower will featuring our “Negative Advertsing” E-dition, while we’re continuing to count down the 487 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (SEPTEMBER 22) we’ll be reporting on Ohio Second District Republican Podiatrist/ Congressman “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup’s Trump-Style Town Meeting in Anderson Monday night, our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be telling us how many politically incorrect questions those Angry Andersonians dared to ask.
WEDNESDAY, (SEPTEMBER 23) we’ll be celebrating the “Autumnal Equinox,” hoping we’ll be able to make it sound really dirty. Wednesday is also “Yom Kippur,” when it’s safe to invite your Jewish friends out for lunch because they’re supposed to be fasting.
THURSDAY (SEPTEMBER 24) we’ll be getting ready for “National Comic Book Day” on Friday and Whistleblower Alternate Life-Styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis will be checking out why Comic Books are once more at the front of the culture war with the controversy over Cincinnati Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback’s being a bridesmaid in Bat Woman’s gay wedding.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (SEPTEMBER 25) LIMERICK IS: “When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year.”
AND SATURDAY (SEPTEMBER 26) is one of the two days in the year “Johnny Appleseed Day” is celebrated, and we’ll try to figure out why.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Governor Alfred E. Kasich, currently living his Wet Dream as a candidate for President, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
The Last GOP Presidential Campaign Speech You’ll Ever Need to Hear
Although we have 16 Republican presidential candidates, their speeches sound remarkably similar. Scott Ott Thought we don’t need all of those versions, when we could have one speech to rule them all — the last GOP campaign speech you’ll ever need to hear.
Sent in by Conservative Videos, offering us the Right Stuff for all of our Right-Wing Readers.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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