FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2015

A Guest Column The Fishwrap or Urinal Would Never Print

The Whistleblower’s Varsity Investigative Journalism Team has uncovered the unspecified “INSURMOUNTABLE OBSTACLES” to the Anderson development project.  They are:  the Park board, the Township Trustees, and the School Board (The Obstacles).

THE OBSTACLES won’t work together.  The joint “INSURMOUNTABLE OBSTACLES” statement was made just to get the public off their backs.  It seems to aware citizens that the project makes a lot of good sense and is easily achievable with cooperation.  THE OBSTACLES found it increasingly difficult to fend off the growing public support.  Obstacle Randy Smith produced a similar statement about the “Smiling Dallas Jackson” affair to impede the revelation of more of those embarrassing truths.

THE OBSTACLES all tried to keep this project proposal as secret as possible.  News of the proposal finally began to leak out to the public.  THE OBSTACLES could not handle the exposure of the truth.  It was just like the Dallas Jackson debacle.  THE OBSTACLES not only block progress, they routinely block public information.

THE OBSTACLES blocked the information because they didn’t want the project to happen.  THE PARK BOARD OBSTACLE was somewhat more open about it, the other Obstacles less so. 

The Park Board is like an ALIEN OBSTACLE that has popped out of the township board’s swollen chest.  Science fiction turned real.  With Obstacle genetics, the Park Board has mutated.  It now eats developable tax-producing property.  Not a surprising evolution considering.  THE OBSTACLE has accepted tasty snacks of donated “undevelopable” tax-producing property for years.  Well-heeled tax-dodging property owners feed it to them.  The scam takes the property off those private tax bills, shifting the burden of taxes to the common citizen taxpayer.  Green space – as in money.  What an interesting investigation that might be.

TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE OBSTACLES “IN RUSS WE TRUST” RUSS JACKSON and ANDY PAPPAS have never shown persistent enthusiastic support of this project.  Jackson has a long disdain for the SCHOOL BOARD OBSTACLES.  It would be difficult to stomach if TIF funds were going to pay for a school when “The Russler” could be wasting them himself.  Pappas has become just the “Not O’Brien” trustee.  TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE OBSTACLE JOSH GERTH dutifully supported his fellow TURPIN/WILSON OBSTACLES, apparently misleading the public once again in support of those shamsters.

THE SCHOOL BOARD OBSTACLE remains dedicated to the hidden long-term plan to make their own Turpin high school and Wilson neighborhoods top choices for area homeowners, increasing their own personal property values.  Anderson and the other elementary schools are being superficially renovated by wasteful use of over-taxed payers’ dollars gained by misleading voters while illegally using public funds to promote their levy campaign.

Expect THE OBSTACLES to promote half-truths to the trusting parents with kids in their schools.  Expect THE OBSTACLES to whine that too much money has already been spent on Anderson to change any plans.  Expect them to attempt to speed up waste at the Anderson not-so-renovation so there is no chance that a new school is built, like what could happen when the park board’s levy attempt fails.

So there they are:  “THE INSURMOUNTABLE OBSTACLES” in Anderson Township.
You read it here first.  As usual.