Thursday, September 3, 2015  

What a Difference a Year Makes

Think of how much things have changed since the first week in September, 2014. That Monday’s Meaningless Union Day Speeches had marked the traditional beginning of the fall negative political campaign season, and we could only imagine what we were going to see and hear during the next 62 days.

 Did The Blower intend to do its part? You bet! As the official voice of the Conservative Agenda and the publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the Tri-State, our readers knew to expect nothing less.”

LAST SUMMER IN A SINGLE SENTENCE (From Wall Street Journal Columnist Bret Stephens): “Islamic State terrorists seized Mosul and massacred Shiite soldiers in open pits, Russian separatists shot down a civilian jetliner, … Bashar Assad’s forces in Syria came close to encircling Aleppo with the aim of starving the city into submission, a brave American journalist had his throat slit on YouTube by a British jihadist, Russian troops openly invaded Ukraine, and Chinese jets harassed U.S. surveillance planes over international waters.” And that doesn’t include … Gaza, Ferguson, Afghan elections, or U.S. Boots on the Ground Back in Iraq.

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR SPOILED SPORTS EDITOR ANDY FURBALL said that didn’t even include the Cincinnati Dead Machine, Bryan’s Bunglers were then only eight games behind the Cards and the “Tragic Number” The Blower had been counting down was now only “18.”

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN said on yesterday’s date in 1777 at Cooch’s Bridge, Delaware, the American flag was flown in battle for the first time during a Revolutionary War skirmish. Amazingly, according to PMSNBC, Obama’s picture was not on that flag.

SODOMY RITES ACTIVISTS BEN DOVER AND PHIL MCKREVIS said on that day, Kneepad Liberals in the Press promoting the Liberal Agenda were blaming “Homophobia” because the St. Louis Rams couldn’t even find a place on their 10-player practice squad for Gay defensive end Michael Sam, whom Obama called to congratulate when he was the last NFL player in America drafted.

And when Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Lovely Lori Viars wrote “Conservatives dump Portman over gay marriage,” she saved the best for last when she wrote Both social and fiscal conservatives are hungry for leaders who, as President Ronald Reagan said, paint in bold colors, not pale pastels. Portman had chosen to align himself against the Republican national platform and 61.7 percent of Ohio voters. In a purple state, Portman was painting not in red or blue but in pale hues – in this case, lavender.”

REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES were upset that a loving brother and sister in Georgia were arrested for incest because they chose to have consensual sex in a church parking lot.  They believed this was discrimination, and that once we got “Marriage Equality,” this type of relationship would be recognized as equal.  Equality means equality, and everybody’s in favor of equality, right?  

THE CINCINNATI MESS (You Only Read About in The Blower): Liz Rogers’ Mahogany’s reopened temporarily on that Saturday after the restaurant’s vendor permit had been stripped the previous week for unpaid sales taxes, and Cincinnati City Clowncil Members were having a little trouble finding people to donate the operating costs for that Stupid Streetcar they promised, almost as much resistance as they were getting from Soreheads in the Suburbs when they were asked to support Cincinnati’s Crumbling Icons like Music Hall and the Museum Center.

And when Cincinnati’s Backstabbed DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley told WLW Hate Radio Trash-Talk Show Host Bill Cunningham “We don’t have to run the streetcar every day,” Outraged Over-Taxed Payer Tino Delgato said, “This idea is like the NHL and NBA owners lockouts. The owners said they saved money by not playing the games and not paying players’ salaries. Plus if they never use the street cars, they will last much longer. Here is a thought: DO NOT buy any street cars. Buy a FEW hybrid busses that run on tires. This might prove the concept. FYI Covington and Newport will buy those hybrid busses if the concept does not work. Gee what novel idea suggested by this author four years ago. This proof of concept is used by REAL businesses. But then again most clown-sale members never ran a business let alone had a real job in the private sector. Go Figure!!!” 

UNION DUES AND DON’TS: Was that Monday’s Union Day Picnic at Coney Island a nothing-burger or what, when the only “important” person Fotogaphing Fishwrapper Leigh Taylor could find was Jim TarBall, a Doomed DemocRAT Write-in Candidate for County Commissioner. With all the state-wide DemocRAT candidates in rout-step retreat, it was no wonder new Cincinnati AFL-CIO Boss Pete McLinden told Cindi Andrews “organizing big-name speakers is time-consuming, and he has only been in his new job for two weeks. Besides, big names distract from families.”

ALSO IN ANDERSON: With only 62 days until the 2014 Elections last year on  November 6, there was no need for “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman to start campaigning just yet. “TaxKiller” had been coasting ever since he beat State Rep-Tile Peter $tautberg, whose opposition to Common Core landed the TEA Party its only true Statehouse victory in May’s Republican primaries when Brinkman cleaned $tautberg’s clock 54% to 46%, despite the Ohio GOP’s Million Dollar Smear Campaign.

Did anybody think Brinkman would even show up at that night’s meeting of the Anderson Township Republican Club (including Newtown and Mt. Washington)? Club President Josh Gerth was supposedly lining up a “cavalcade of speakers” to provide the club updates on local, county, and even national topics.  People expected to hear from county party leadership on elections, newly elected ward chairs, Township Economic Development, Forrest Gump School Board, and more. It sounded like one of the most boring meetings in Anderson GOP history. Similarly, boring Republican Club Meetings would also be going this week all over the Tri-State.

IN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo was proud to announce another scooping ahead of The Fishwrap. Campbell County TEA Party Leader JR Roth had a not-so-good experience in a recent court appearance.  He had an appeal, but our court experts believed this Library Plaintiff might’ve been heading to the pokey. That’s right, old JR sued the Campbell County library to destroy the Kentucky Library System by reversing funding tax rates.  His “plaintiff” team included more TEA crazies like Erik Hermes and even a county commissioner candidate, Charlie COACH Coleman.  As you can imagine, old coach was trying to lay low and whistle past the graveyard on this one. There was a funny YouTube video out there using a Hitler movie and closed captions written for the Campbell library haters.

In other news, the Campbell County TEA party/libertarian hopefuls did not get their unofficial GOP recognized by the state.  So now they had named themselves the Campbell County Conservatives and the Campbell County KY Republican Party.  A bit nutty, but they liked having multiple names for multiple personalities.  They really wanted to be like Boondoggle County whackos Goofy Gaspard, Kooky Kunkel, and Silly Sparks.  The Blower recently uncovered an email sent by Campbell TEA Prez Erik “I only like public projects when I get the contract” Hermes, stating they were having a meeting with the new Vice-Chair of the county GOP, Deb “I wear the pants” Sheldon-leader of the District Chair Troy Sheldon household.  This came as a shock to the real and legally accurate Vice-Chair Winnie Stine.  We were waiting to see if they advertised another meeting with fake chair “Silly Sandy” Shaw.  The real chair Jeff “RINO Killer” Kidwell said if they have violated some statute, he will turn it over to the Attorney General.  You can bet your ass on this one folks, these guys aren’t laying down like they did in Boondoggle.

Speaking of a lack of truth, word was Kentucky U.S. Senator Rand Paul’s staff had revealed a much better understanding of NoKY since they got a new guy to lead that office.

The post-Fancy Farm reports seemed to indicate that Beavis Bevin might actually declare his intention to make a run for the Governor’s mansion.  Here was the funniest part, he might have chosen Troy or Deb Sheldon as his running mate.  Word had it that Nutsy Rogers (yes, the one that works for Massie), Crazy Nolan, and Clerk Taunya “Don’t Call Me Deeelight anymore” Nolan-Jack had advised Bevin simply to allow both to run with him. 

Bevin’s 25-point loss to Bitch McConnell in the GOP Primary was listed the day before as the Washington Post’s #2 most disastrous campaign of 2014 — so far.

We were working on more stories and a special investigation of the “Coach” Coleman race where sources indicated he might have had someone on his campaign team with legal baggage and not in a good way. 

At press time, our Marvelous Muckrakers had discovered that Deb Sheldon had then decided to resign as phony vice chair, since her husband was not able to get the state party to recognize the phony party.  We also beat The Fishwrap again by learning that the KREF report for the 4th GOP district showed them in the red by over $9,000.  Was that even possible?  NoKY GOP donors were not happy.  And yes, district chair Troy Boy Sheldon was holding the bag.

WHISTLEBLOWER 2014 SUMMER INTERNS Olivia, Damon, Wyatt, and Tristan said then-23 years ago, when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town, in Issue # 66 published on September 3, 1991 Edition’s our “Really Big Story” was the 1991 Campaign Kickoff, along with a message from the publisher. If we were as lazy as our Feckless Fishwrappers, we could’ve used that same message today.

THAT DAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD went to Obama himself, who claimed “If I Worked For A Living “Busting My Butt… I’d Join A Union” at Milwaukee’s Laborfest. 

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen said 73% of American Voters worried about Obama’s lack of a Strategy to combat the radical Islamic terrorist group ISIS. Do anybody think that includes any of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press?

HAD OBAMA FAILED HISTORY 101? Victor Davis Hanson said “Obama’s naive belief in predetermined history — especially when his facts are often wrong — is a poor substitute for concrete moral action.” [READ MORE HERE]

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Aldous Huxley’s “That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.”

FINALLY, AT THAT DAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how badly Obama’s screwed up the country. “Here’s one example,” Kane explained. “Obama was given detailed and specific intelligence about the rise of the Islamic State as part of his daily briefing for at least a year before the group seized all that territory this summer, and you can expect more of the same during the then-869 (now 504) Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining in the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

         Now let’s all imagine President Reagan’s Response to the ISIS Threat. [READ IT HERE]

         Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Campbell County Republicans.
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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our September fund-raising drive from Sergeant Slaughter’s Army Surplus Store in Florence Kentucky, featuring gas masks from Israel, the only nation in the world where every child must have his own gas mask. 

Last Year Today’s Best Conservative Political Cartoons

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 WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

How Reagan Would Respond to a Threat

Sent in by The Reagan Library.

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