TUESDAY, JULY 28, 2015
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Obama keeps daring House Republicans to impeach him. He knows John Boehner and the rest of those wussies won’t do it, and we can continue to use it as a fundraising gimmick. So far we’ve sent out 137 different Fundraising Emails shrieking hysterically over the totally nonexistent threat of Obama’s being impeached. —DemocRAT Party
And even if those Pussy Republicans in the House ever found the balls or got the stupids to impeach our first Black President, we’d never convict him, just like Bill Clinton. —Harry Reid and the Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate, Still Pulling Bitch McConnell’s Strings
Every day more people are questioning Obama’s sanity, and whether he’s in touch with reality. —The American Psychiatric Association
How about if we just voted to have him committed? Maybe I might be able to get that done before our August Recess. —John Boehner
Please tell Boehner he’d also have to commit those 65 million Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, since according to our poll before the 2014 elections, Americans wished they’d elected Romney. —CNN
Even though most Americans want us all sent home, we keep coming across the border because Obama promised to take care of us. —Illegal Immigrants
After such a miserable week for the president and his agenda last week where DemocRATS have been reduced to begging supporters to sign Obama’s Birthday Card, maybe Obama should go on vacation early. —Pollster John Zogby
Are the Reds in last place yet? —Johnny Cueto, Now the Ace of the First Place Kansas City Royals
When the Reds host the Small Market Kansas City Royals September 18 and 19, maybe K.C. could start Johnny Cueto and me. —Edison Volquez and Johnny Cueto
Sunday we sent out emails begging for more money because there were only 11 more days until the First 2016 Presidential Debate in Cleveland. —Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Scott Walker, John Kasich, Donald Trump, Bobby Jindal, Rick Santorum, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Carley Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, and George Pataki
This year’s Fancy Farm Picnic next weekend will again be the premier political event in Kentucky. Partisans will travel from all corners of the state to scream and shout their political beliefs at the “center of the political universe.” —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
This event should be a showcase for my 2016 Presidential Campaign, where I can try out some of my zingers before my August 6 Debate appearance against Donald Trump. —Rand Paul
Civility? We don’t need no stinkin’ civility. —TEA Party Candidates With Bullhorns
I’ve instructed Matt Jones (founder of Kentucky Sports Radio, who’s emceeing the event) to keep tight control. —Fancy Farm Political Chairman Mark Wilson
But you don’t have to drive all the way to Western Kentucky to hear the speeches. We’ll be broadcasting them live, including all those candidates running for Governor, Lt. Governor, Attorney General, Secretary of State, Auditor of Public Accounts, State Treasurer, and Commissioner of Agriculture, along with local state legislators, statewide office holders, and along with every Congressman from Kentucky Representative and both U.S. Senators. —Kentucky Educational Television
All of my supporters will be watching. —U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell
And my campaign will be e-mailing Dumbed Down DemocRATS every ten minutes asking for donations. —Alison Wondergams Grimes
I promise my speech won’t be half as boring as the last time I spoke at Fancy Farm. —Bluegrass Governor Steve Be-Sheared
Do you think my Republican Gubernatorial Opponent Matt Bevin will mention Obama? —Bluegrass Attorney General Jack Conway
We’ll be there blowing a lot of smoke. —Smoke-Free Kentucky, The Group Pushing For A State-Wide Smoking Ban In Public Places
Will anybody remember last year when I launched my U.S. Senate campaign at the annual Fancy Farm Picnic even though I didn’t actually appear on the ballot — and even though I wasn’t even a real person. —”Honest” Gil Fulbright
Trish the Dish wants to know if that Fancy Farm Picnic was anything like that Fantasy Farm Amusement Park in Ohio? —Channel 19 News
I won’t be flying over the event on Saturday, since it’s a long way to travel and there probably won’t be a lot of nudists there. —Channel 9 Helicopter Reporter Dan Carroll
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Fancy Farm Emcee, Matt Jones, who can’t hold a candle to Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall. 
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of political picnics to show that standing out in all that hot sun when you don’t have to is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who really likes listening to boring political speeches.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental; especially people who even know where Fancy Farm is.
FANCY FARM HOT LINE
e-mail your political propaganda today.
Some out-of-control partisan items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally out-of-control partisan subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Represent.Us: A Movement for the People
(Sent in by Represent.Us: A Movement for the People, who says, “You shouldn’t have to buy access to your own government. That’s why we’re building a movement big enough to force our leaders to stop answering to special-interest cronies and start answering to the people.”)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
