SUNDAY, JULY 12, 2015
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Conan O’Brien’s “Macy’s has severed ties with Donald Trump and no longer will carry his men’s wear collection. From now on, men who want to look like Donald Trump will have to hunt and kill their own hair piece.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1984, DemocRAT Presidential Candidate Walter Mondale named Geraldine Ferraro as his vice-presidential running mate, and women in politics have been an embarrassment ever since, almost as much as the men.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Geraldine Ferraro’s “President Reagan’s one-liners were terrific.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says most of the nation’s major cities have been so-called “sanctuary cities” that don’t enforce immigration laws for quite a while, but that uncomfortable fact has been under the spotlight in recent days. Following the recent murder of a young woman in San Francisco by an illegal immigrant from Mexico, most voters want to get tough on these sanctuary cities, calling for U.S. Justice Department prosecution and an end to federal funding. [READ MORE HERE]
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #204, says you should quote Joe Biden. “Look, [John’s McCain’s] last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.”
JOHN GALT says “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
LIBERAL NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Summer is well under way and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Seeing is Believing
It’s time to grab the bathing suit
To have a refreshing swim.
And check to see if all the girls
Have got their bikini trim.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Political Promotion,” Patronage County Commissioners considered a proposal to generate a little extra income for some needy people at the courthouse. Swindle Advertising was awarded the right to sell advertising displays on rest room walls in all county buildings.
This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols. In fact, it appeared as part of The Muckraker series, in something called The Zinzinnati News in July 1981 (whatever the hell that was).
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says this Sunday and Monday (July 12 and 13) Ohio Governor John Kasich will be campaigning for President in New Hampshire. That’s a good thing, because it means he won’t be screwing things up back in Ohio all weekend.
Alpha-PVP, nicknamed “flakka,” an illegal synthetic drug, on its way to Cincinnati. It’s already an epidemic in south Florida and was discovered by local residents, in Florida, on Spring break this year. The cops in Florida describe people as having super-power strength when they struggle with suspects under the influence of flake. One agency shot two different people in less than an 8-hour span during such struggles. It’s the worst drug we’ve experienced, thus far. Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo says Lewis County sheriff’s deputies are on high alert because it’s unlike any drug they’ve ever seen — users will even trade heroin to get it. [READ MORE HERE]
TAIL-GAITING TROUBLE MAKER TINO DELGATO says the Reds season is down the tubes. Injuries played a huge part in their demise. After the All Star Game (ASG) they will begin trading off key players they would lose in Free Agency over the off season. Star pitcher Johnny Cueto is one of those tradable entities. He could pitch in the ASG Tuesday IF the Reds did not start him Sunday in another meaningless game for them. The bet here is they start him and say it is not a meaningless game. Go Figure!!!
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES reports U.S. stocks Stocks kept a grip on gains Friday as the indexes made up for the previous session’s givebacks.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and on Saturday, 7-Eleven will celebrated its 88th birthday — or “7-Eleven Day.” To mark that, the store gave away free Slurpees. July 12-18, everytime you buy a Coffee, Chillers Iced Coffee, Slurpee, or Big Gulp and scan the 7-Eleven app, you can get a freebie. Time reported that 7-Eleven likely gives away free food because the promotions can tempt people to buy additional items while they are in the stores.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what he thought about Obama’s Latest Press Conference. “It was the same lies and hypocrisy he’s spewed on every crisis from Day One.” Fox News should’ve shown the “Bullshit Meter” every time Obama opened his mouth.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. 
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JULY 13) we’ll be getting ready to celebrate Bastille Day on Tuesday, while we’re continuing to count down the 556 Days of Dishonesty for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (JULY 14) will be Major League Baseball’s “All-Star Game” in Cincinnati and The Blower predicts Pete Rose will not be reinstated, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will try to explain why the Reds still aren’t in first place.
WEDNESDAY, (JULY 15) we’ll be displaying pictures of attractive undressed women taken at Tuesday’s National Nude Day Photo Contest at the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence.
THURSDAY (JULY 16) is National Pig Day, and we promise not to display any of the unattractive undressed women taken at Tuesday’s National Nude Day Photo Contest at the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JULY 17) LIMERICK IS: “Back when America put a man on the moon.”
AND SATURDAY (JULY 18), we’ll be publishing our annual “Historic Headlines” E-dition and we think we just told you why.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Pete Rose.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
The Obama Supporter Beauty Pageant
Caleb Bonham (@CalebBonham, [email protected]) took to the streets in the first ever Obama Supporter Beauty Pageant. Caleb asked Obama supporters the same question from the infamous viral beauty pageant videos. Were Obama supporters able to give more coherent responses? Watch the first ever Obama Supporter Beauty Pageant to find out!
(Sent in by Jim Messina, Chair of Obama’s 2012 Reelection Campaign)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of the mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call The Fishwrap.