SUNDAY, MAY 31, 2015

Because You Don’t Know What’s Waiting For You

Today is the last day of the month, and your bipartisan bandwidth is being barraged for donations by every political campaign in the universe to which you were ever foolish enough to give your e-mail address, whether you actually intended to support that party or candidate or not.

This one to Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane supposedly from Michelle Obama, would be typical.

Hi, Charles —

I try to say “thank you” to you as often as I can, because your passion and determination have paved the way for all the progress we’ve made over these past six years.

And I keep coming back to express that gratitude because we’re not done yet.

We’ve made history together, and we can keep on making it. Don’t get tired, Charles, because we are going to do so much more together before Barack’s time in office is finished.

Barack and I need you to keep making that difference, Charles, so I hope you will add your name so I can tell him you’re still with us:

http://my.democrats.org/Still-In

Thanks again for standing with us, Charles. You are truly an inspiration.

Michelle

This one from the DemocRAT Senate Campaign Committee is still wondering why we haven’t yet renewed our membership for 2015.

Charles Foster — Our records show you’re a top DemocRAT — but we just saw you haven’t renewed your DSCC membership for 2015 yet:

DSCC Membership Status: pending (renew now for $3)
Deadline: 24 hours

With the Koch brothers and Karl Rove planning to buy Congress AND the White House, how do we keep up?? With the power of the Democratic grassroots: YOU!

We absolutely need you before our critical FEC deadline in 24 hours. Please renew your membership now — your gift will be matched!

Working together, we’ve won some incredible odds-defying victories. With you on our team, we can do it again. Please, renew now >>

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Team DSCC

P.S. If you contributed recently by check, mail, or phone, this may not yet be reflected in your online donor record. Thanks so much for your support!

Sent from my iPhone

The Republican National Committee was also pulling out all the stops with an e-mail supposedly from Chairman Reince Priebus who was excited to inform us that we had been nominated for the 2015 RNC Charter Gold Card Membership.

Please accept your nomination to become a Charter Member today by contributing $130, $85 or $45 — and you’ll get your very own personalized gold card in the mail.

Also on Sunday:

Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Donations” Portman’s Nonsense Conservative Campaign needed us to help them raise $5,860 by midnight.

Ohio Second District Patriotic Podiatrist Republican Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Campaign asked if in honor of John F. Kennedy’s birthday on May 29, we would consider donating $29 to continue advancing their Conservative agenda?

And Anderson Township Republican Club School Tax Hike Scam Supporting President Josh Gerth reminded everybody on his suckers list to “Make sure you bring enough cash to cover your annual $20 membership to next Wednesday’s big meeting.”

Now We All Know What Our Junk-E-Mail Folder Is For