Tuesday, May 12, 2015       

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers  

Isn’t it awful the way some politicians always exploit Mother’s Day as just another way to try to raise money? —Ohio Governor Kasich-Taylor, Ohio U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Families” Portman, Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine, DemocRAT Bluegrass Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes, and Barack Obama

There are still a few Republicans in Ohio who haven’t sent in their donations to honor the Governor’s Birthday Card. —Ohio RINO Party Boss Matt Borges
Did you see where Kneepad Liberals in the Press now want Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Sodomy” Portman to help “reshape” the Republican Marriage Platform?—Bewildered Constituents

That’s why we’re so pleased to have Ohio’s Same-Sex-Supporting Senator Rob Portman to be a featured speaker at this year’s Hamilton County RINO Party Lincoln-Reagan-Portman Dinner. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP

Do you think Alex T. would allow me to speak if I showed up at his room full of RINOs? —“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman

Is there still time to ask your local RINOs to remove our names from their sleazy fund-raising dinner on Saturday? —Lincoln and Reagan

On this date in 2002, Dingbat DemocRAT Jimmy Carter embarrassed us all when he let Fidel Castro look down on him in Cuba, and this year Obama’s White House is still scrambling to put a positive face on an upcoming summit he called of Persian Gulf states after learning leaders from four of the six invited nations have announced they have someplace else important to be. —Hurley the Historian

That’s why we chose 2016 Republican Presidential Candidate Ted Cruz’s “The consequence of the Obama/Clinton foreign policy is that our friends no longer trust us, and our enemies no longer fear us.” —Your Quote For Today Committee

Is our TEA Party Texan is following our plan to win the White House in 2016 or what?—The Conservative Agenda

Maybe we should accept Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s generous offer to run our schools in his spare time, since he always seems to know more about what’s going in the district on than we do. —Randy Smith and the Forrest Gump School Board
Thanks for continuing to publish my work in The Blower in spite of threats of violence and intimidation from the Gaystapo and other Liberal Hate Groups.  —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception, winner of the $50,000 Conservative Artwork Award

 

With only seven more days until the Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 19, should we be following The Blower’s lead and actually begin reporting on some of the races? —Feckless Fishwrappers

I’m laying low since my campaign manager Nathan “Cornbread” Smith is back in the news for illegally evicting tenants and forcing them to abandon trailers that they owned at his trailer parks. —Disingenuous DemocRAT Gubernatorial Candidate Jack Conway, Running Unopposed

Republican Gubernatorial Campaigns weren’t getting a whole lot of publicity until last month when I pushed out a story that James Comer had physically abused a former girlfriend in college. —Conservative Blogger Michael Adams, Connected to Comer’s Opponent

We’re investigating Adams for allegedly threatening Comer’s running mate’s daughters over the internet. —Kenton County Grand Jurors

Meanwhile, I get to stay above the fray and run funny campaign commercials about my opponents. —TEA Party Guy Matt Bevin

In Independence, where incest is best, Mother’s Day is always a family affair, because it’s also “Cousins Day” in Kentucky. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

Everybody in MILF-ord was waiting for The Blower to include me in Monday’s MILF Day E-dition this year. —MILF-ord Mayor Laurie Howland 

Did I forget to put out a special Mother’s Day edition of my titillating e-newsletter this week? —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders

We told you we could drink your mother under the table. —Michael Liquid Plummer and His Designated Driver, Nathan “Cornbread” Smith

Did you see that Mother’s Day card I sent to all those Mothers in the Bluegrass Bar Association? —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, Who Once Upon a Time Used to Claim To Be A Lawyer

The law says you can’t discriminate against a mother, even if she’s a lesbian. —Covington Commissioners

On Mother’s Day, single mothers with big breasts always drink free. —Mainstrasse Pub

In southern Boone County, they even have Mother’s Day cards for barnyard animals. — Gex “Rhymes with Sex” Williams

 My mother needed more protection, so I went out and bought my pistol-packing mama another Glock, along with a concealed carry permit. —Bluegrass Rifle Association spokesman Billy Bob Carbine

Wherever I went on Mother’s Day, everybody asked me what a MILF was. —Bobby Leach

Sometimes we call it MILF Madness. —Boys with Boners

Bill Fesh says he was once sexually harassed by a MILF. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel

A MILF is a terrible thing to waste. —Horny in Hebron

When does The Blower’s Official MILF List come out? I want to be on it. —Lisa Wells, WLW Radio

Can Cougars be MILFs too? —Uptight Bitches in Fort Mitchell hoping for real orgasms

Don’t forget to mention me. —Jenny Dinkel

Why don’t you just give your readers our definition. —Wikipedia

This year’s Mother’s Day buffet at the Golden Corral was better than ever. —Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich and Clueless Marc Wilson (No longer one of The Blower’s Faux Facebook “Friends”)

Last weekend we showed “MILFs from Outer Space.” —Flashlight Theatre

Don’t forget, Opening Day for my Y’All Ville baseball team is coming up pretty soon. —Mayor Blondie Whalen

Hey, Everybody… Trish the Dish still wants to know when Unwed Teenage Mother’s Day is. —TV 19 News   

Channel 9 “Substantially True” News” plans to do a story on that very subject. —WCPO-TV Helicopter Reporter Dan Carroll (Formerly with TV 19)

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Bluegrass Conservative Blogger Michael Adams.

   —  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower uses family photographs to show that exploiting your mother of any kind is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an elected official.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Alison Wondergams Grimes, shown here campaigning with both her mother and her grandmother.

 MOTHER’S DAY EXPLOITATION HOTLINE

e-mail your egregious examples today.

Some outrageous items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally outrageous subscribers. WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

 THE CRIMINAL ARROGANCE OF HILLARY CLINTON

(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Kenton County Circuit Clerk John Middleton [1,575 Friends, 41 Mutual including Steve Pendery and John Cain.],

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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