Sunday, April 19, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (April 13), in our Special “DemocRAT Diversions” E-dition, The Blower said, “Predicting it will last for only another 575 days until the 2016 Elections!” and in our Special “The Tax Man Cometh” E-dition, The Blower said, “Remember when America was founded to avoid taxation?”
TUESDAY (April 14), in our Special “Tax Scofflaw Update” E-dition, The Blower said we were expecting “A Record Number of Delinquent Over-Taxed Payers Expected! and in our Special “Hillary’s Joke Campaign” E-dition, The Blower said, “No Wonder Late Night TV Comedians Are Celebrating!”
WEDNESDAY (April 15), in our Official “Tax Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Giving you 1040 more reasons to hate the government!” and in our Special “Remembering the Boston Bombing” E-dition, The Blower said, “That’s when terror officially returned to America!
THURSDAY (April 16), in our Special “Emancipation Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Waiting to see this year’s rallies and riots!” and in our Special “PC Warning” E-dition, The Blower said, “Whoever is declared the biggest victim gets to be the biggest bully!”
FRIDAY (April 17) in our Special “Tax Freedom Day in Ohio” E-dition, The Blower said “Your 2015 Tax Confiscation Period is now ending!” and in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
SATURDAY (April 18) in our Special “Promoting Patriots’ Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Because it’s now time for something completely patriotic!” in our Special “Not Yet Patriots’ Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t still be a little patriotic!” And in our Special “Angry Andersonian” E-dition, The Blower said, “Tax Scam Flushed Down the Drain”
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE COMPLETE CAMPAIGN CLUSTERFUCK STORY THIS WEEK was when Hawkeye Bureau Chief Jan Mickelson told us Hillary Benghazi Clinton’s trip to Iowa really turned out to be the complete campaign clusterfuck The Blower had predicted, with reporters outnumbering supporters at every stop.
That’s why all this week Jan couldn’t wait to leave the state, and has been broadcasting his Top Rated “Mickelson in the Morning” show on WHO News Talk Radio in Des Moines live from the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) event in Washington, DC.
OUR NUMBER TWO COMPLETE CAMPAIGN CLUSTERFUCK STORY THIS WEEK was when Joke Writers said it’s been the best campaign launch ever! Hillary’s campaign manager upstaged her orchestrated announcement on Twitter with an email, Hillary’s site went down for an hour, and a supposed typo in her announcement said Hillary “Fought Families and Children All Her Career.” Hillary’s new campaign logo quickly became fodder for more Social Media Mockery. Anti-Hillary Posters have already been seen across NYC and Las Vegas. Saturday Night Live really nailed it when they got an early jump on the news cycle with a cold open that boiled down Hillary’s expected announcement that she was running for president to the cold fact that for the Clintons, American democracy is a game played for the benefit of the Clintons. [WATCH IT HERE] 
Hillary’s presidential campaign was supposed to be about “Everyday Americans,” so driving to Iowa for her first campaign swing Monday, with two aides and Secret Service agents aboard, when Hillary’s “Mystery Machine” stopped at a Chipotle restaurant in Maumee, Ohio, a suburb of Toledo, Whistleblower Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says, “Nobody recognized her.” A Clinton Campaign Hack now claims Hillary’s ridiculous “Scooby Van” and the entire “Road Trip” Plan was all Hillary’s Stupid Idea. Best of all, Hillary’s only had two major flip flops (same sex marriage and illegal immigration) during the first four days of her campaign.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE COMPLETE CAMPAIGN CLUSTERFUCK STORY THIS WEEK was when Nevada sex workers at Dennis Hof’s famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch launched a “Hookers for Hillary” Clinton website that endorses Hillary for President. Amazingly, our former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief does not appear in this photograph. Maybe he was still sampling the merchandise.
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us how Hillary attacks CEO Pay after receiving at Least $200K per Speech.
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
The 2016 Elections should be about correcting ALL of Obama’s mistakes.
The next 569 days will be the most important period in American History for a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
As The Blower predicted, news coverage continues to be Biased and Dishonest, with the same depth you see on all those inane Twitters and Entertainment Tonight shows to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
Trouble-maker Tino Delgato says the scary thing is no matter who runs on the 2016 Democratic presidential ticket that person is guaranteed nearly half the votes. That percentage is made up of those who do not pay taxes and those on government subsidies. Romney was right on this point. Go Figure!!
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award
Obama’s Attorney General nominee Loretta Lynch is declining to weigh in on Hillary Clinton’s email scandal ahead of a Senate vote on her confirmation. Lynch said she does “not have enough information” to investigate the DemocRAT presidential candidate and former secretary of State, in a letter to Louisiana Republican Senator David Vitter.
Meanwhile, the DemocRAT Senate Campaign Committee would like you to send them money so they can whine about how long it’s taking That’s how long Loretta Lynch has been waiting to be confirmed.
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
Potential Republican 2016 Presidential Candidate Ben Carson said Wednesday night that America is being destroyed by political correctness at all levels. The famed Johns Hopkins neurosurgeon explained: “It’s worked to shut people up because they are afraid that they might be on their list.”
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.”
The Feck Stops Here
Has The Fishwrap really dedicated over 20% of its articles this past week to normalizing homo-sexual issues? Or is it just a mirage that regularly 2 of 9 articles online are pro-gay with NO counterpoint? Will a reporter actually look at the journalistic ethics/canon and dare to ask Carolyn “No I’m Not Velma” Washburn why there are no counterpoints, let alone token ones?
No doubt our Nine Fine Clowns and Feckless Fishwrappers will be overlooking such blatant Liberal Bias, as well as supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
Angry Andersonians
Since voters had been stupid enough to pass that humongous Forrest Gump School Tax Swindle, current tax-and-spenders on the Anderson Park Board obviously thought they’d like over-taxed property owners to give them a big pile of cash, too, so they could piss it away themselves. All three Township Trustees were disappointed that the Park Board’s Tax Scam had been withdrawn before Thursday night’s scheduled vote, because “In Russ We Trust” Jackson, Andy Pappas, and even School Tax Scam Loving Josh Gerth (the guy in the middle) had been planning to tell the Park Board to stick their proposal where the sun don’t shine.
In Northern Kentucky
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo says outrage continues to grow after a Racist Black Judge hammered white victims of armed home invasion for racism, after he let Black criminals go free. Judge Olu Stevens of the Jefferson Circuit Court appeared even more offended by the victim impact statements offered by the family who was robbed than he was by the fact that a crime had been committed at all. What else could you expect from a Crazy Liberal Louisville judge who touts himself as “Louisville’s leading trial judge” and seems to be vying for a TV show like Judge Joe Brown? Our Jefferson County Courthouse Snitch says Judge Stevens is widely regarded among prosecutors as the first “criminal defense judge” in the Bluegrass.
According to the Courier Journal, He’s been on the bench for nearly six years and plastered so many pictures of himself on Facebook that a colleague dubbed him “Judge Selfie.” But until he criticized the victims of an armed robbery for “fostering” the views of their 5-year-old daughter, whom they said was still scared of black men after two African Americans had held the family at gunpoint, Judge Olu Stevens was largely unknown outside the Jefferson County Judicial Center. Appointed to the bench in 2009 by DemocRAT Governor Steve Beshear, Stevens has been a polarizing figure in the courthouse. The Blower bets Convicted Ditzy DemocRAT Hamilton County Juvie Judge Traci Hunter wishes this Racist Bozo could replace Judge Dinkelacker at her trial.
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked David Letterman’s: “Hillary Clinton is driving across Iowa in a van. It’s to get to know the people she’ll never, ever see again in her life. Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit. According to a new poll, 57 % of the people believe Hillary Clinton will be the next president. Now 43 % of the people in that poll believe Hillary Clinton is already president.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says candidates across the political spectrum promise to help the middle class by cutting taxes. But most Americans think those candidates don’t even agree on who makes up the middle class, and they don’t believe their promises to cut taxes
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1775, the “Shot Heard ‘Round the World officially began the American Revolution during the Battle at Lexington Green, , the first bloodshed of the American Civil War was shed in 1861, Clinton’s Attorney General Janet Reno blew up David Koresh and his followers at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco in 1993, and Homegrown Terrorist Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in 1995.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose JFK’s “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #246 says you should Define “Multiculturalism” as the State-sanctioned grievance industry that stokes division and resentment, while always under the delusion that it is doing something positive called “celebrating diversity.”
GOING GALT means taking the John Galt Pledge. Let’s all say it together: “I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this special springy poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Sonnets for All Seasons,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“It Might As Well Be Spring Fever”
I’m glad that Spring is finally here
It brings some warmer breezes
But it also brings more allergies
With water eyes and sneezes
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “PATRIOTIC POLITICIANS,” we learned what happened when our three publicity obsessed county commissioners called in noted Spin Doctor Freddie Flacker, to ensure the public saw them as the most patriotic politicians in history. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER wonders why the past week was spent by Widower Obergfell making the rounds as the poster-gay for Same Sex Unions in Ohio. Even Ohio’s Disingenuous DemocRAT Senator Sherrod Brown was seen trying not to hug him too closely. With the Supreme Court hearing Oral Arguments on April 28, The Blower wonders which Dream Team legal beagle will explain why (or why not) Justice Ruth “I Perform Gay Marriages” Bader-Ginsburg should recuse herself from the case. Will a reporter actually look at the judicial ethics/canons and dare to ask how Justices are able to ignore such regulations?
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Market Watch reported U.S. stocks closed sharply lower on Friday as a confluence of intensifying Greek default fears and new stock-market regulation from China put investors on edge. The S&P 500 and Dow industrials suffered their biggest one-day point declines in more than three weeks.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were all asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the best way for ordinary Americans to show how much they love their country on Patriots’ Day. “If you mean all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from those Obama Supporters in the Press,” Kane explained, “those people are hopeless. But for the rest of us, perhaps people could try to learn how our government works, study the issues and the candidates, and for God’s sake, get off the damn couch on Election Day and go vote.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (April 20) The Blower will be featuring its Official “Patriots Day” E-dition, as well as continuing to count down the 641 unproductive days for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
Tuesday (April 21) we’ll be getting ready for Earth Day on Wednesday and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will tell us if politicians are using all the mud.
Wednesday (April 22) we’ll be and we’ll try to remind you not to call them “gals” on Secretary’s Day.
Thursday (April 23) we’ll celebrating “Take your Daughters to Work Day,” even if you’re a hooker outside a casino.
The first line of Friday’s (April 24) limerick is: “Do the Rich really want to pay more?”
And Saturday (April 25) will be our Special “Political Liars Day” E-dition, which could be any day for that matter.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially scandal-plagued Hillary Benghazi Clinton. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows Hillary’s campaign appearance on “Wheel of Fortune.”
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
NewsBusted 04/14/15
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Pro-Life/ Pro-Gun/ Limited Government/ Lower Taxes State Rep-tile John Becker, 1,215 Friends, 111 Mutual Friends, including Judge Bernie Bouchard and Maggie Cook])
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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