Saturday, April 18, 2015 

Listen My Children and You Shall Hear…

Hurley the Historian says maybe we ought to call today’s issue our Special U.S. Invasion E-dition, because on today’s date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming.

This morning, our Quote for Today isn’t just bringing you one measly quote, they have the whole damn poem.

And when Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes tried to warn their neighbors that the British were coming, wouldn’t you know, even way back when, the New York Times was already undermining America’s patriotism.

It’s too bad that Revere and Dawes weren’t riding around Boston in 2013. We could’ve used a little warning before that Terrorist Invasion of the Boston Marathon that Obama couldn’t call a terrorist attack, especially after the Obama administration declared Bush’s War on Terror to be over, continues to give over-taxed payers’ money to terrorist regimes, and slashed the Budget to prevent domestic terrorist bombing by 45%. Thankfully, those Boston Marathon Bombers weren’t peaceful, god-fearing White Americans.

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says this week the New England Patriots will be retiring the number of Aaron Hernandez (and thankfully keeping that $44 million they had contracted and now won’t have to pay him), after their NFL football player was convicted of murderer and sentenced to life without parole.

AND FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were all asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the best way for ordinary Americans to show how much they love their country on Patriots’ Day. “If you mean all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from those Obama Supporters in the Press,” Kane explained, “those people are hopeless. But for the rest of us, perhaps people could try to learn how our government works, study the issues and the candidates, and for God’s sake, get off the damn couch on Election Day and go vote.”

          Remember

We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially, WLW Hate Radio Trash-Talker Bill Cunningham. That shameless draft dodger wraps himself in the flag every chance he gets.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

 Today’s edition is brought to you by another generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive by Flag Wavers, offering merchandise to help you show your patriotism, with discounts for veterans and their families.

PATRIOTS DAY HOT LINE

e-mail your red-white-and blue comments today.

Some patriotic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally patriotic subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER PATRIOTIC VIDEO OF THE DAY

                              Patriots Day at John B. Hood Middle School

 (Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Ohio State Rep-tile/Marine Corps Colonel Danny Bubp-kiss [4,964 Friends, 89 Mutual Friends, including Joe Braun and Michelle Glass Slipper], once made famous when “Mean Jean” Schmidt embarrassed herself on the floor of Congress.)

   Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

 Note: people who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something to snitch).

“Patriotic Politicians” By James Jay Schifrin

         Patriots’ Day was fast approaching, and at the Patronage County Courthouse our three publicity obsessed county commissioners had called in noted Spin Doctor Freddie Flacker, to ensure the public saw them as the most patriotic politicians in history.

        “What if we’re seen riding on a tank in the Patronage County Patriots Day Parade?” asked Commissioner Pilfer. “That ought to make us look like real war heroes.”

        “That probably wouldn’t be a good idea,” said the Spin Doctor. “You’d probably come off looking like Michael Dukakis, since one of you was only a PFC and the other two dodged the draft.”

        “What if we were photographed standing in front of a big American flag?” asked Commissioner Filch. “It worked for General Patton.”

        “But not for Obama,” replied the Spin Doctor. “Remember that picture of him not saluting when everybody else had their hands over their hearts?”

        “Here’s an idea,” suggested Commissioner Swindle. “What if we dedicated Main Street that runs all the way through the county in honor of a local war hero who died defending our country?”

        “Pardon me, Commissioner,” replied the Spin Doctor. “I don’t see how signs honoring a fallen war hero would get the three of you any good publicity.”

        “It would if they made the signs really big so they could put our names on them, too,” Swindle said.

          This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols