One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Happy Emancipation Day, Everybody!
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says today is “Emancipation Day” in Washington DC, a legal holiday commemorating the day in 1862 when Lincoln freed slaves in the Confederate states, and our Faux Facebook Friend, Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate Livingston said if we don’t celebrate it, we’re all just a bunch of white racist honkies who forgot that yesterday was Jackie Robinson Day, because on that date in 1947, Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier and became the first Black player in Major League Baseball history. The Natester also wants to know if we’d like to do a story about somebody asking the Ohio Ethics Commission to Investigate Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters for continuing to pick on Convicted Ditzy Democrat Juvie Judge Traci Hunter.
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Meanwhile, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says outrage is growing after a Racist Black Judge hammered white victims of armed home invasion for racism, after he let Black criminals go free. Judge Olu Stevens of the Jefferson Circuit Court appeared even more offended by the victim impact statements offered by the family who was robbed than he was by the fact that a crime had been committed at all. What else could you expect from a Crazy Liberal Louisville judge who touts himself as “Louisville’s leading trial judge” and seems to be vying for a TV show like Judge Joe Brown. Our Jefferson County Courthouse Snitch says Judge Stevens is widely regarded among prosecutors as the first “criminal defense judge” in the Bluegrass.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY is again pleased to tell you about those Secret Senior Citizen Discounts at Rumpke. Call the Geezer Garbage Department at (513) 742-2900.
YESTERDAY WAS TAX DAY, and somebody figured out if we had a flat tax we wouldn’t need the IRS, Oh wait, they added 16,000 IRS agents just for ObamaCare regulation. Hmm, drop ObamaCare. Next up the Dept of Energy.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 57% of voters think Hillary will be the next president of the United States even though they have very mixed feelings about her. Of course, 48% say they still approve of the job Obama’s doing, so pollsters must’ve been calling a lot of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
CONSERVATIVES WELL UNDERSTAND the next eighteen months may well be the most important period in American History, during a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media, as Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
HAWKEYE BUREAU CHIEF JAN MICKELSON says Hillary Benghazi Clinton’s trip to Iowa has really turned out to be the complete campaign clusterfuck The Blower predicted, with reporters outnumbering supporters at ever stop. That’s why all this week Jan couldn’t wait to leave the state and has been broadcasting his Top Rated “Mickelson in the Morning” show on WHO News Talk Radio in Des Moines live from the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) event in Washington, DC. [LISTEN TO IT HERE]
TWENTY-FOUR YEARS AGO TODAY, when Edition #46 was published on April 16, 1991, the Whistleblower included stories about Cronyism at the Hamilton County Courthouse, “Real Facts” featured the cut-off of the Testicle Donor Program, and current Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo exclusively reported on the Transit Authority of Northern Kentucky’s “TANKMAN” Marketing Scam. To See the entire Edition #46, CLICK HERE
ANGRY ANDERSONIANS: How surprised will all those Disgruntled DemocRATS and TEA Party Patriots be on Thursday after camping out all night Wednesday to get in line to attend Thursday’s Big Anderson Trustees Meeting if the Anderson Trustees forget to put that item on the agenda so “In Russ We Trust” Jackson, Andy Pappas, and Josh Gerth can vote on the Anderson Park Board’s request to put the Park Board’s controversial levy on the ballot, after The Blower exposed their plot to ask over-taxed payers to cough-up $25 Million to purchase and renovate property costing less than $9 Million? After all, since voters were stupid enough to pass that humongous Forrest Gump School Tax Scam, these tax-and-spenders on the Anderson Park Board thought they’d like a big pile of cash so they can piss it away themselves.
TODAY’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION DIVERSITY UPDATE is sponsored by Phil Burr-ass, with a quote from Warren Beatty, ”For me, the highest level of sexual excitement is in a monogamous relationship.” In “Paraphilias, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” as used by the Supreme Court, we have a variety of Sexual Orientations: Heterosexuality: the universal norm of sexuality with those of the opposite sex. Over the next several days, we’ll explore more!
In a related item, Bob McEwen was having a meeting breakfast meeting at I-HOP in Anderson last Saturday, when he was overheard discussing how to promote passage of a Homophobic Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) in Ohio that protects people who live their daily lives according to their faith against government discrimination, like Governor Mike Pence signed in Indiana. You should’ve heard how that Pregnant Lesbian who’d been sitting at the next table accosted our Revered Former Ohio Congressman on her way out. Another Portman supporter, no doubt!
CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEON STU MAHIN wrote a letter to The Fishwrap commenting on Clowncilman Windbag’s letter, which said in part: The current council majority now wants to build the second phase of the streetcar…. It’s shameful … when the city is faced with approximately $782 million in capital development needs over the next 20 years. Those needs include: … $20 million for neighborhood sidewalk repairs and replacement, despite those supporters constantly defending the Stupid Streetcar as having no impact on any other City duties of obligations.”
That $20 million should be no problem: Just unleash the City’s larcenous sidewalk inspectors who can issue Pay-Or-Else orders forcing abutting property owners to replace sidewalk sections with even the slightest imperfections at their own expense. Those Sidewalk Banditos have preyed on property owners in the oldest section of Hyde Park for years, but haven’t ever gone near Oakley, Mt. Lookout, Downtown, OTR, Walnut Hills, Clifton, etc. etc. — not to mention the west side.
TROLLEY TRASHING TROUBLEMAKER TINO DELGATO says the South Bank Shuttle runs round trip from Cincinnati to Newport and Covington. These trolley cars run every 15 minutes for a $1 fare. These trolleys do NOT require tracks, concrete on/off ramps or electric wiring. They can change routes based on demand and traffic patterns. The shuttle supports itself via fares, and the cars really look like trolleys! Go Figure!!!
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about The Blower’s “Remembering the Boston Bombing” yesterday when terror officially returned to America.
“Not every publication remembered,” Kane explained. “The top story on the front page of Wednesday’s Fishwrap was all about Drag Queen Penny” who’s putting the Queen in the Queen City.
But why should that surprise you? Since our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Street Car Flip Flopper on Cincinnati City Clown P.G. Sitt-‘n-Spin.
Another Proud Sponsor and Avid Fan
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive by H&R WenSchmidt, filling out constituents’ tax forms for free until midnight on Tax Day on April 15, that’s if you can ever find the damn place.
TAX FREEDOM DAY IN OHIO HOT LINE
Where tomorrow you will officially on tomorrow you will have officially earned enough money to pay off your taxes this year.
Some anti-tax items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally anti-tax subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
You May Already Be A Loser
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend and Tax Day CPA Bill Luchsinger [502 Friends, 72 Mutual Friends, including Pat DeWhine and Charlie Windbag], who told us the story about the constipated accountant who had to work it out with a pencil.)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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