Wednesday, April 15, 2015
No Big Tax Protest This Year
Today is Tax Day in America, and our Good Friend Bobby Leach says a woman at the H&R Goofus office asked him, “Is that your extension in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” During the past several years, Tax Protest Rallies were a real BFD hereabouts. Remember when TEA Party Patriots packed Fountain Square? Remember when all those people were willing to pay $5 just to attend Cincinnati TEA Party’s big Rally for Sean Hannity’s Book on April 15? Nothing that exciting is going on this year. There are still tickets available for the Cincinnati TEA Party’s $15-per-person fund-raiser at the Sharonville Convention Center. Does that mean over-taxed payers wouldn’t prefer spending cuts to tax hikes? You’d never know it, according to what you read in the newspapers or see on TV.
According to our friends at the Tax Foundation, TAX FREEDOM DAY will arrive for everybody in the United States on April 24 this year. That means Americans will have worked well over three months before they have earned enough money to pay this year’s tax obligations at the federal, state and local levels.
Tax Freedom Day varies by state and county, depending on local taxes. The Tax Foundation calculates Tax Freedom Day already arrived in Kentucky on April 11, and will arrive in Ohio on April 17, and in Indiana on April 18.
Tax Freedom Day continues be a little later in Hamilton County, ever since that Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT in the county auditor’s office jacked up your property values. No wonder the Board of Revision expects to receive a record number of complaints this year. If only Disingenuous really had a real Republican opponent running against him last year.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says he’s not surprised Tax Freedom Day arrived earlier in Northern Kentucky than it did in Ohio, even though the Bluegrass has a Dopey DemocRAT Governor like Steve Beshear and those RINOs in the State Legislature to raise your taxes.
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking if Tax Day was supposed to be a dreaded deadline for “everybody,” why nearly half of U.S. households paid no federal income taxes this year, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane explained, “Either their incomes were too low, or they qualified for enough credits, deductions, and exemptions to eliminate their liability.” And that doesn’t include all those “Tax Cheats” who’ve already filed or all those Procrastinating Americans who still haven’t started working on their taxes.
Meanwhile, our friends at the IRS remind us, the April 15 deadline for filing your federal taxes is for real, it’s not just one of those phony baloney ObamaCare deadlines we’re all become accustomed to during Obama’s Failed Second Term.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Albert Einstein’s “This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.”
This is the Official 2014 Whistleblower Tax Day E-dition.
Any other so-called Official 2014 Tax Day Day E-ditions you might see are surely fake!
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Cincinnati Reds second-year hitting Coach Don Long, whom Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says doesn’t seem to be earning his salary so far in 2015, not to mention Reds second-year bullpen coach Matt Jenkins or whoever’s getting Jumbo Diaz ready to give up the lead with two-run home runs in the eighth inning.
Three Quick Fixes
Hurley the Historian says Disingenuous DemocRATS and Obama Supporters in the Press may still be blaming President Bush for everything that’s ever gone wrong in America since the Battle of Bunker Hill, but today is still your dreaded TAX DAY and The Blower will now once again offers these three common-sense suggestions to fix our whole tax-and-spending mess:
No withholding. No phony refunds. If folks had to write really big checks on TAX DAY, they’d actually know how much they’re paying.
Until we have a simple flat tax without all that paperwork, over-paid Congressmen should be forced to fill out every one of their constituents’ tax forms for free.
Hold EVERY election on TAX DAY!
The Most Requested Form from the IRS
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive by Tax Squeal, where you can anonymously rat out your tax cheating friends. [CLICK HERE]
TAX TRAUMA HOT LINE
Some anti-tax items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally anti-tax subscribers, like this important tax reminder: e-mail your tales of woe today.
Don’t forget to pay your taxes……
25 million illegal immigrants (Undocumented Future DemocRATS) are depending on you!
And don’t forget, when calling the IRS, you still have to “press 1” for English
PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only one websites for the production of today’s Blower. (This time we only plagiarized ourselves!)
Tax Day 2015 Videos of the Day
Funny Express Refunds Tax Commercial
PLUS
Funny Tax Day Video – 2012
David Letterman Top Ten Things I’ve Learned From Being An Accountant
Hitler Works in Public Accounting
“There’s Taxes Everywhere”
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Schnozzy Heimlich [857 Friends, 105 Mutual Friends including Marsie Hall Newbold and Mark Faust], who used to be in The Blower all the time when he was somebody important.)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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