Sunday, April 12, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (April 6), in our Annual “Easter Monday” E-dition, The Blower said, “DemocRATS still blaming Bush for the Death of Jesus!” and in our Annual “Opening Day Hype” E-dition, The Blower said, “Is it the ‘Next Year’ we’ve all been waiting for yet?”
TUESDAY (April 7), in our Special “Immorality Update” E-dition, The Blower said we were “Cleaning Up Our Community, One Slut At a Time!” and in our Special “Fair Weather Fans” E-dition, The Blower said, “After all that pre-season hype, how much does anybody really expect from the Reds?”
WEDNESDAY (April 8), in our Special “Tax Freedom Day Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still more than two weeks away!” and in our Special “Sluts on the Run” E-dition, The Blower said, “Oh, the Immorality!”
THURSDAY (April 9), in our Special “Not Really a Rally” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s Just Another Way to Try to Raise Money!” and in our Special “Same Time Last Year” E-dition, The Blower said, “Those Were the Good Old Days!”
FRIDAY (April 10) in our Special “Missing Person Alert” E-dition, The Blower said it was Just Another IRS Taxing Adventure and in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
SATURDAY (April 11) in our Special “Tax Freedom Day in Kentucky” E-dition, The Blower said, “Free At Last, Free At Last! Thank God Almighty We’re Free At Last.” And in our Official “Hillary’s Denouncement” E-dition, The Blower said, “Can’t You Just Feel The Excitement?”
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE HILLARY’S DENOUNCEMENT STORY THIS WEEK was when scandal-plagued Hillary Benghazi Clinton planned to make that inevitable announcement of her upcoming unsuccessful 2016 US presidential campaign today.
OUR NUMBER TWO HILLARY’S DENOUNCEMENT STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama’s disgraced former secretary of state pulled out none of the stops when she declared her second losing run for president on Twitter of all things at noon eastern time on Sunday, deafeningly applauded by our Kneepad Liberals in the Press, followed by a lying video and just another crappy Disingenuous DemocRAT email announcement before a series of conference calls mapping out a blitzkrieg tour beginning in Iowa and looking ahead to more early primary states in her unquenchable quest for power. Whistleblower Hawkeye Bureau Chief Jan Michelson says he can hardly wait!
AND OUR NUMBER THREE HILLARY’S DENOUNCEMENT STORY THIS WEEK was Former Pants-Dropper-in Chief Bill Clinton’s participation in Hillary’s announcement was not announced, because as Hillary so famously once said, “What difference does it make?”
Traitor Trasher Tino Delgato pointed out Hillary Clinton will be 70 in 2017. However, she will not be the oldest to run for the presidency from the two major parties. Reagan, Dole, and McCain were all over 70. However she will have the worst political track record and appearance. Go Figure!!!
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER Wonders Who Is Ready For Another Hillary Listening Tour?
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
Shouldn’t the outline of the plan to win the 2016 Elections be to correct all of Obama’s mistakes.
The next eighteen months may well be the most important period in American History, during a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media, as Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
Expect news coverage to continue to be biased, and above all Dishonest, with the same depth you see on all those inane Twitters and Entertainment Tonight shows to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award
Is None other than scandal-plagued Hillary Benghazi Clinton, who’s finally making that inevitable announcement of her upcoming unsuccessful 2016 US presidential campaign today. Let’s all tell watch Ben Shapiro tell us how “Hillary Clinton Lies… A Lot.”
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
Fox News Channel host Greg Gutfeld says Political Correctness is now “Beyond Parody,” because some on the left were sincerely adopting ridiculous parodies of political correctness on Thursday’s broadcast of “The Five.” Gutfeld reacted to a report in McClatchy that some women believe referring to Hillary Clinton by her first name is sexist by pointing out that he previously joked that referring to Clinton by her first name was sexist because “that’s a girl’s name.”
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes the entire ER staff to remove it.”
The Feck Stops Here
Metro Mole says after everybody’s waiting to see how fairly biased The Fishwrap’s coverage is when scandal-plagued Hillary Benghazi Clinton makes her inevitable announcement of her upcoming unsuccessful 2016 US presidential campaign today. If they need a local angle, maybe they can show pictures from all those Clinton fund-raisers at Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced-DemocRAT, Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley’s house, back in the days when $tan bought a life-time Federal Judgeship from the Clintons for his wife, and we all know how well that turned out.
No doubt our Nine Fine Clowns on Cincinnati City Clowncil and Feckless Fishwrappers will be overlooking all of Hillary’s other scandals, as well as supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
In Northern Kentucky
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Real Republicans in Kentucky applauded the way Kentucky U.S. Senator Rand Paul seemed to understand the next eighteen months may well be the most important period in American History, because he kicked off his 2016 Presidential campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture the Liberal News Media who say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
The Rand Man put NBC’s “Today” show co-anchor Savannah Guthrie in her place right off the bat when he said, “Why don’t we let me explain instead of talking over me, OK?” Paul didn’t like the way a CNBC anchor Kelly Evans was interviewing him, so he told her to “calm down,” saying she was mischaracterizing basic facts in her questions. And at one point during an interview with the Dissociated Press, Paul said, “Why don’t we ask the DemocRAT National Committee if it’s OK to kill a 7-pound baby in the uterus? You go back and go ask Debbie Wasserman-Schultz if she’s OK with killing a 7-pound baby that’s just not born yet.”
“Attack, Attack, Attack!” It’s right there in the DemocRAT Playbook!
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: In a new interview, the president discussed the upcoming election. He said that Hillary Clinton is going to do great as a presidential candidate. When asked how Biden would do, Obama said, “Hillary’s going to do great.” When he was asked about Hillary’s candidacy, Obama said, “If she’s her wonderful self, I’m sure she’ll do great.” He added, “If she’s her other self, watch out.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says looking ahead to next year’s presidential contest, most voters expect more of the same: two candidates with whom they have very little in common. This marks little or no change from how voters looked at the major party presidential candidates in past elections. (To see survey question wording, click HERE.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says FDR became a “Good DemocRAT” on this date in 1945.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose to tell the story about the time Obama was not not feeling well and was concerned about his immortality, so went to consult a Psychic about the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she found the answer: “You will die on a Jewish holiday.” “Which one?’” Obama asked nervously. “It doesn’t matter,” replied the psychic. “Whenever you die, it’ll be a Jewish Holiday.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #105 says you should invite all your Liberal friends to protest at a Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square, but that’s only if our Anti-Taxers remember to have a real rally on Tax Day this year.
GOING GALT means taking the John Galt Pledge. Let’s all say it together: “I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this special springy poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Sleazy Sonnets for All Seasons,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Spring is Here”
The clothes are getting skimpy
It’s time for a bikini wax
And a perfect time for friendly girls
To spend more time on their backs.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER wonders why journalists write stories about 200 churches supporting Sodomy Rites and ignore 10,000 much larger churches that support traditional marriage. Does that equal media bias? Here at the Whistleblower, we have no such bias. We gladly moch the self deprecating believers as well as the pious hypocrites! We’ll even leave it to you to decide who is who!
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says T.Rowe Price reported the large-cap benchmarks saw healthy gains for the week as investors awaited the full onslaught of first-quarter earnings reporting season. The large-cap benchmarks outperformed their smaller-cap counterparts, thanks in part to the strong performance of industrial giant GE. U.S. small-cap stocks have performed significantly better than large-caps for the year to date due to their lesser exposure to overseas earnings, which have been pressured by the strong U.S. dollar.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
California DemoCRATS propose creating an “Office Of New Americans” to help Illegal Immigrants get their Free Stuff! Liberal Lawmakers want to further protect future DemocRAT Voters.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the significance of scandal-plagued Hillary Benghazi Clinton’s inevitable announcement of her upcoming unsuccessful 2016 US presidential campaign today. “The best part about Hillary’s announcement,” Kane explained, “will be the official start of the Hillary Joke Season, which should last for at least the next 576 days until the 2016 Elections.” Expect jokes like, “Why is Hillary Clinton just like a man? A: Because she won’t pull out until she’s done,” “What will Bill Clinton be known as when he leaves the White House? A. The President after Bush,” and “What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude? A: “Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (April 13) The Blower will be featuring its Official “Tax Day” E-dition, giving you 1040 more reasons to hate the government, as well as continuing to count down the 648 unproductive days for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
Tuesday (April 14) will be our “Tax Scofflaw Update” E-dition and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will probably feature some of the most creative excuses you’ve ever seen.
Wednesday (April 15) we’ll be complaining about how much of our hard-earned money will be confiscated by the IRS so Obama and our Crooks in Congress can just piss it away again.
Thursday (April 16) we’ll Remembering 2013’s Boston Bombing” when terror officially returned to America during The Age of Obama!
The first line of Friday’s (April 17) limerick is: “The Best Part about Tax Freedom Day.”
And Saturday (April 18) will be our Special “US Invasion” E-dition, when we report how this date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Affirmative Action Aficionados on Cincinnati City Clown-cil!
Also Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially scandal-plagued Hillary Benghazi Clinton. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us just how long ago it was when Hillary first stared lying.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Benghazi: Judge Jeanine Pirro Utterly Destroys Hillary Clinton
(Probably not sent in by Northern Kentucky Hillary Fund-Raiser Nathan “Cornbread” Smith, [1,259 Friends, 29 Mutual Friends, including David Kramer and Shad Sletto])
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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