Saturday, April 4, 2015
Root-Root-Rooting for the Home Team!
Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather is back. And he is really excited that his beloved Cincinnati Redlegs’ magic number is still “162,” Farley is also making some bold predictions for professional baseball’s first team as it begins the 2014 season on Monday’s Opening Day: Johnny Cueto will become major league baseball’s first 30-game winner since Denny McClain did it in 1968 . . . and learn to speak English! Jay Bruce will hit 80 home runs. The boldest prediction? Joey Votto will prove he is worth every penny of the roughly $45,000 he’s paid each and every time he comes to bat!
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ted Williams’ “Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.”
In a related item, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 33 AD the first baseball game was played between the Bethlehem Braves and the Jerusalem Giants with Harry Carey doing the play by play. Eat your hearts out, Marty and Thom!
Bluegrass Ball-Walkers
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says yesterday at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why he’s always complaining about media hype, since political propaganda has been his special province for a very long time. Thirty-four years ago, Kane blew the whistle on then GOP Hamilton County Commissioner Norman Murdock for illegally campaigning from the Hamilton County Courthouse. But even before that, Kane was publicizing and promoting some pretty worthwhile causes.
Hurley the Historian said, “Take that time in 1980 when Kane volunteered to line up publicity for then-26-year old Lexington native Keen Babbage’s legendary 14-day, 430-mile walk from the Rawlings Sporting Goods Company in St. Louis to bring the Opening Day baseball to Riverfront Stadium, so five-year-old Jason Edwards, the March of Dimes Poster Child, could throw out the first pitch to Johnny Bench.”
Here’s our 34-year-old news advisory for that day: Mild-mannered P&G advertising salesman Keen Babbage has become an overnight celebrity on his 430-mile trek from St. Louis to Cincinnati to promote the March of Dimes Superwalk in April 27. Yesterday, Babbage averaged better than four miles per hour for the 47 miles between Libroy and Mr. Vernon, Illinois.
Clear skies and 55-degree weather greeted him as he traveled the flat Illinois farmland. All along the route, cars stopped for autographs, pictures, newspaper interviews, and to offer contributions for the March of Dimes. They all wanted to see the baseball Babbage was carrying to Riverfront Stadium so Jason Edwards, the five-year-old March of Dimes Poster Child could throw out the first ball to the 1980 season to Cincinnati Reds catcher Johnny Bench.
In Nashville, Illinois, employees at the IGA store invited Babbage in for lunch. All he could eat.
This morning, Babbage got the key to the city from the mayor of Mt. Vernon, Illinois, as the town council, local athletes, and reporters accompanied him for the first mile out of town. Tonight, Keen expects to arrive at Fairfield, Illinois—and easy trip. It’s only 32 miles.
Kane said what started as a publicity stunt to promote the March of Dimes had become an inspiration to him and Babbage, because they were constantly reminded of how the Cincinnati poster child finally walked the year before after 14 operations, taking his first steps on Christmas Day that year.
The Associated Press quote Babbage: “I remember my fourth day out, when I had walked 47 grueling miles. I was beat with another long day facing me the next day. I didn’t know how I could make it. Then the people in Princeton, Indiana introduced me to their poster child. He had to practice all day just to be able to say my name. I was ashamed for being tired. The kid had done all the work. Compared to him, my 47 miles were nothing that day. Since then, I haven’t been tired.”
No wonder The Blower’s Quote for Today Committee asked to borrow Keen’s humble quote above.
“Opening Day Jitters” By James Jay Schifrin
RRRIINNGGGG!
“Hello, Cincinnati Reds? This is Commissioner Swindle in Patronage County. Are you still looking for a famous person to throw out the first ball on Opening Day?”
“Who’d you have in mind, Commissioner?”
“We’re all sorry to hear the president isn’t coming. Maybe the Vice President will be busy too. Shouldn’t you get someone else, just in case?”
“John Boehner already told us he’s next in line of succession, Commissioner.”
“How about somebody a little closer to home?”
“We’ve checked everyone on the White House List of stand-ins. All the important people are busy working that day.”
“What a coincidence. I don’t have any county business scheduled. I’d love to. Thanks for asking.”
“Sorry, Commissioner. You throw too many curve balls.”
“Well then, let me catch it. I’m really an important person. Check the White House list again.”
“We already did, Commissioner. They said not to ask you.”
“After all I’ve done in Patronage County?”
“Sorry, Commissioner they’re afraid you’re going to drop the ball again.”
This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on April 8, 1981, and has been updated with current references to fit the situation today.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Pete Rose.
MORE OPENING DAY HYPE LATER THIS WEEKEND