Sunday, March 29, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (March 23), in our Official “Let’s All Go on Spring Break” E-dition, The Blower said we were “Looking for some major yabbos!”
TUESDAY (March 24), in our Special “Sluts in the Suburbs” E-dition, The Blower said it was “Making All of Warren County, Ohio Proud!”
WEDNESDAY (March 25), in our Special “Are You Sure It’s Really Spring?” E-dition, The Blower said, “Maybe a little Groundhog Stew might warm you up!”
THURSDAY (March 26), in our Special “No-So Amateur Athletics” Edition, The Blower said, “One Thing You Can Be Sure Of, It’s NOT about the Money!”
FRIDAY (March 27) in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
AND SATURDAY (March 28) in our Special “Women’s ‘Herstory’ Month” E-dition, The Blower said, “I It’s just another made-up word Feminists use to make themselves feel good!”
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE BIG SPRING BREAK STORY THIS WEEK was when Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo said are all of his snitches were still on Spring Break.
OUR NUMBER TWO BIG SPRING BREAK STORY THIS WEEK was when Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall said, “Usually it’s a sure sign of spring when UK is playing basketball in the NCAA Tournament and UC isn’t,” and Northern Kentucky Legislators said, “We’re not on Spring Break. It always just seems that way.”
AND OUR NUMBER THREE BIG SPRING BREAK STORY THIS WEEK was when Oliver Klozhoff said, “It’s Spring Break in Florida. The temperature’s warm, teenage tramps have gone wild, and thongs are particularly lovely this time of year,” and Larry Laptop said, “Please add Venice, Florida to the list of places The Blower is watching guys who took their wives and teenage children on Spring Break so they can spend all day on the beach ogling young girls’ breasts.”
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us a what happened when Barney Frank said Obama’s Doofus Vice President Joe Biden “Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut or His Hands to Himself.”
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
Emergency Update
Saturday Morning at 8:30 AM (8:30 PM in the Philippines, The Blower was informed by a Cincinnati Bell technician that at long last, Persons of Consequence on the Exclusive Whistleblower E-mail List who unfortunately happen to be Fuse.Net and Zoomtown.com customers would once again be receiving their daily media advisories from The Blower because the problem had finally been located and Fuse.net and Zoomtown.com would no longer be continuing to mislabeled all communications from The Blower as “spam.”
Imagine our surprise when we received the following response to the test message we sent them.
5.7.1 Message blocked due to spam content in the message
Meanwhile, if anybody happens to be talking to likes of Fuse.net and Zoomtown.com customers like Russ Jackson Jr., Tim Pennington, Joe Gorman, James Adams, Cathy Brinkman, John Becker, Tom Bryan, Andrew S. Pappas, Ann Becker, or Brian Shrive today, please let them know The Blower is still in business at Whistleblower-Newswire.com.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
Another Whistleblower Prediction That Came True
We told you so Last D-Day (That was June 6, 2014 for all you Failed Cincinnati Public School graduates). It was just another one of Obama’s historical decisions when our Incompetent-in-chief illegally traded those five murdering Terrorist Four-Star Taliban Generals for a known traitor like Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl. No wonder the latest Fox News Poll said 84% worried Obama’s prisoner swap would put US soldiers at risk.
But Keith Maupin, father of a Clermont County soldier who was kidnapped by Iraqi insurgents and later killed says Obama’s swap was “a bad deal,” sending the message that the U.S. “is willing to make trades with terrorists.” Maupin said he never would have agreed to a trade for his own son, had such a deal been proposed.
Meanwhile, as the Middle East continues to explode, Obama will be vacationing in South Florida this weekend at the Florida National Golf Club in Palm City and Port St. Lucie. Obama made a similar trip to the area in February of 2013.
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award
Goes to Josh Earnest, who has told so many stupid lies covering for Obama since becoming Obama’s White House Propaganda Minister, that he should have his own category.
Recently Earnest claimed “Clearly” Obama Has Been “Very Clear” About A “Clear” Strategy For ISIS. He maintained: “No Revision To My Comments” That Yemen Is Still The Model For Success. And actually said with a straight face: “My Best Advice For An Aspiring Press Secretary Is “Always Tell The Truth.”
But The Blower really liked when Fox News’ Ed Henry nailed Obama’s Obfuscator with “The Admin Was Quite Critical of Republicans Sending Letter To The Leaders of Iran, How Is Sending a Video Message to Them Any Different?”
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
The Blaze reports Comedian Bill Maher went on a fiery diatribe against the “deeply stupid” politically correct wing of liberalism on his show Friday, at one point telling far-left Media Matters to “shut the fuck up” with its fake outrage. Maher is very liberal himself and his comedic attacks are mostly aimed at Republicans and conservatives, but every now and then he goes after the left.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes the entire ER staff to remove it.”
The Feck Stops Here
Diversity Devotees thought The Fishwrap might have come up with a new Liberal Cause to Promote when they saw that front page warning by Sydney Murray and The Disassociated Press that all those fish many Cincinnati Catholics have been devouring during Lent might have been caught by a slave worker thousands of miles away in Indonesia, but it was just their customary Catholic bashing two weeks before Easter. At first we thought they were still whining about gay darkies catching catfish in the Licking River. Or maybe it was promoting “Once You Go Black You’ll Never Go Back” Interracial Dating with that story about Jarred Evans’ assault charge when the Black UC Quarterback and his White girlfriend were walking along a Clifton street as bars were closing when they heard a series of racist remarks from a group of drunks. But our Feckless Folks showed flew the Rainbow Flag proudly when they rubber stamped and published Cincinnati City Clown-cilGay Chris Squealback’s letter condemning Indiana for its passage of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act Clown-cil voted 6-1 to pass a resolution validating homosexual marriages. The Windbag said he cannot vote for Sodomy Rites while Ohio law still bans gay marriage.
No doubt our Nine Fine Clowns and Feckless Fishwrappers are still supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
Racism Rears Its Ugly Head
Indiana Bureau Chief Hoosier Daddy says not only are Horny Homosexuals boycotting Indiana these days, but an Indiana DemocRAT state representative made a shocking claim during a floor speech earlier this week when she said a Republican colleague’s 18-month-old toddler was scared of her because she’s black.
Vanessa Summers was bloviating about the Religious Freedom Restoration Act on Monday when she played the Race Card by speculating that Republican Representative Jud McMillin’s young son is a fledgling racist.
The child couldn’t have been screaming because Vanessa is really one scary looking bitch.
In Northern Kentucky
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo says he doesn’t have a whole lot to report this weekend, since none of his snitches has returned from ogling young women during Spring Break in Florida.
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1973, the last U.S. combat troops left South Vietnam as Hanoi freed the remaining American prisoners of war held in North Vietnam, and America’s direct eight-year intervention in the Vietnam War was at an end. Can’t you just imagine if Obama had been in charge?
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Bill Murray’s classic quote from “Stripes”: “We’re Americans! We’re ten and one!”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Americans clearly have issues with the federal government, and shelling out a portion of their income for taxes this time of year isn’t likely to make them feel any better. Only 19% of voters now trust the federal government to do the right thing most or nearly all the time. 60% consider the feds a threat to individual liberty rather than a protector of their rights. With April 15 less than three weeks away, we also find that 50% don’t trust the Internal Revenue Service to fairly enforce tax laws. Part of the IRS’ image problem may stem from the lingering questions over its targeting of TEA Party and other groups. Most voters think the agency’s rogue activity was criminal and politically motivated. [READ MORE HERE]
MORE RACIAL HEALING: “Empire” TV drama actress Taraji P. Henson apologized Friday for playing the Race Card by accusing a Southern California police officer of racially profiling her son, saying she “overreacted” before knowing all the facts. Henson issued her apology on Instagram hours after the Glendale Police Department released video of the traffic stop what a race-baiting liar she was when she claimed her law-breaking 20-year-old son, Marcell, was being dealt with disrespectfully by the officer.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked David Letterman’s “Mitt Romney, two-time presidential campaigner, will step into the boxing ring and he will be fighting Evander Holyfield, who, to my knowledge, has never run for president.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #91 says you should turn up at your local Muslim outreach program by wearing an “I’d rather be Waterboarding” t-shirt.
GOING GALT means taking the John Galt Pledge. Let’s all say it together: “I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
IN NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (THE ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN). Just in time to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this in his “Turning the Other Cheek,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Ready for Spring
Spring is finally here
Say goodbye to the snow.
So let’s break out the old Johnson
And let’s get on with the show.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says Suburban Sluts in other the Tri-State neighborhoods are outraged those wife-swapping bitches in Warren County are getting all that great free publicity. Trustee Andy Pappas says Adulteresses in Anderson ask if their actions aren’t just as atrocious, Steve Chabothead says Western Hills Wenches wish they could be just as wicked, and in Northern Kentucky, Y’All Ville Mayor Blondie Whalen says Floozies in Florence also claim to be fairly fast-and-loose.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says according to Ken Sweet at the Dissociated Press, a tough week on the stock market ended quietly Friday. Major indexes notched modest gains, not nearly enough to make up for the four previous days of losses. It wound up being the second-worst week for the market so far this year. The Dow Jones industrial average remains down slightly for 2015, and the Standard & Poor’s 500 index is essentially flat.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
This week Free-Grainers remember when Mitt Romney was booed at the NAALCD (National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored DemocRATS) national convention in Houston in 2012, after he enraged many African-Americans by saying that if black people want more “free stuff” from government, they should vote for Obama.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if it was hard to believe that Women’s History Month was almost over, since so far The Whistleblower has only been able to mention a smidgen of the worthy women we had wished to honor, including all those floozies Jerry Springer would still like to boink, Black Women Victims about to be evicted, Left-handed Lithuanian Lesbians, and young girls with Major Yabbos on Florida beaches during Spring Break. “We’ve always treated women fairly in The Blower,” Kane explained “Some of our best Snitches are Bitches.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (March 30) we’ll be featuring our Annual “Mea Culpa” E-dition, and unlike politicians, when we apologize, we really, really mean it!, unlike what you’ll be hearing during those 662 more days of bad government remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
Tuesday (March 31) we’ll be we again reviewing Sunday night’s A&E “Sluts in the Suburbs” reality TV show starring your neighbors in Warren County’s Hamilton Township who “swap partners and engage in extramarital relationships as they go about their regular lives as parents, professionals, soccer moms and little league coaches,” and we’ll see what our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers have to say about that.
Wednesday (April 1) is April Fool’s Day, and we’ll be telling you who’s the biggest fool of all.
Thursday (April 2 ) we’ll be checking to see of those geniuses at Cincinnati Bell in Cincinnati who run Cincinnati Bell’s Technical Support Department in the Philippines are still depriving all those Persons of Consequence on Fuse.net and Zoomtown.com in Greater Cincinnati from receiving their daily Whistleblower media advisories by continuing to mislabel every e-mail they see coming from The Blower’s computers as
The first line of Friday’s (April 3) limerick is: “The Best Part About Paying Your Taxes.”
And Saturday (April 4) we’ll probably be doing something irreligious for Passover and Easter.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Affirmative Action Aficionados on Cincinnati City Clown-cil!
Only Two More Days to Complain
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping Democrat Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that were due on Ground Hog’s Day. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us what that might’ve looked like. Fortunately, you may still file a formal complaint with the Hamilton County Board of Revision until Tuesday on March 31, which is only two days away. Artis says it’s OK to use the same picture we used last week, since on Saturday, Geezer Radio Station WMKV thought it was all right to replay the Auditor’s same crappy Frank Sinatra program they played last week.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Liberals Explain Barack Obama
(Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Liz Boebinger McEwen, [629 Friends, 9 Mutual Friends], a former Pan Am flight attendant who married Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen.
ote: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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