Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Still Waiting for Obama’s Phone Call

Tuesday night, Breitbart said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had apparently defied the mainstream media and the Obama administration with a stunning, come-from-behind victory in Israel’s elections on Tuesday. Meanwhile, the mainstream media were at a loss for words. They had expected Netanyahu to lose. They had expected economic issues to trump security issues, which were Netanyahu’s focus. And they expected far stronger Arab turnout (as did Netanyahu).

But the real loser was Obama, who undoubtedly hoped for a poor showing by Netanyahu. And the even bigger loser is the Iranian regime, who will now face an emboldened Israeli leader who made the case for his re-election on the grounds of strong public opposition to the generous terms of the nuclear deal that Obama is negotiating with Iran.

The most important immediate consequence of the election is that Netanyahu’s defense minister, Moshe “Bogey” Ya’alon, is likely to retain his post. A thorn in the side of Secretary of State John Kerry, whom he called “messianic,” Ya’alon is one of the few military planners in the western world with a grasp on the strategic realities of the Middle East. He has been a counsel of patience for Netanyahu, advising him not to waste resources on Hamas while Iran still looms as the enemy.

Yet the importance of his victory cannot be diminished. It is the biggest media surprise since “Dewey Defeats Truman”–a remarkable feat in today’s environment of big data, big media and big money.

 TODAY’S STUPID LIBERAL LIAR AWARD goes to CNN’S chief international correspondent Christiane Amanpour, who slammed Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, his Likud Party and “right-wing” allies for having “a sort-of racist police towards” Arabs that has been “very scary for them” as the world awaited results from the national elections in Israel. Liberal Rag Salon said Netanyahu engaged in “Racist Fear-Mongering” to win the Israeli Election. PMSNBC denounces Netanayhu as a “Panicking Racist.” And Obama Advisor David Axeldouche, the Jerkoff who invented the “War On Women” to Re-Elect and unpopular President accused Netanyahu of “Shameful 11th Hour Demagoguery.”

NOTABLE QUOTABLE: Whistleblower Iowa Bureau Chief Jan Mickelson says former NBC Reporter Lisa Myers was in the Hawkeye State giving a lecture about television journalism and political reporting, where she said “TV Politics has all the depth of Twitter.”

  OCCASIONALLY A LIBERAL LOUDMOUTH gets something right, like when HBO’s Bill Maher ripped “Politically Correct Assholes Who Want To Turn This Country Into A Place I Don’t Want To Live In.”

More often, a Conservative gets it, like on FOX News Monday morning, when Kentucky U.S. Senator Rand Paul said former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton believes she’s “above the law.” What was your first clue, Randster?

Meanwhile, Disingenuous DemocRATS are fund-raising off Republican U.S. Senate Leader Bitch McConnell’s delaying approval of Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Nominee Loretta Lynch to replace Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Eric Holder. Is anybody betting McConnell won’t be caving in on this, too?

At the same time, Revolting Republicans in Tompkins County (NY) demanded “new leaders who will vigorously contest … unconstitutional or over reaching executive orders and actions” when they voted “No Confidence” in Boehner-McConnell.

 IN COLUMBUS, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says on Tuesday, the Ohio Republican Party challenged Obama’s 2012 campaign Co-Chairman, Ted Strickland, to reveal whether he planned to meet with Obama when he comes to Cleveland on Wednesday. Elsewhere in Ohio, TEA Partiers were high-fiving each other after Republican Governor Kasich-Taylor finally did the right thing and signed HB7, which passed unanimously in the Ohio House and Senate, to provide safe harbor for students from Common Core testing.

MANY TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE: The Northeast Hamilton County Republican Club (NEHCRC) claims to be pleased to host Rick Santorum Thursday at the Original Montgomery Inn restaurant in Montgomery of all places when the former Presidential candidate will be joined by Ohio’s very own First District Congressman Steve Chabothead. Do you think the perennially unsuccessful Conservative presidential candidate would autograph that 2012 bare-chested photograph from The Blower’s file of him lounging poolside in Puerto Rico that was snapped by a passenger on an Atlantis all-gay cruise?

RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: D. White Tillery can’t stop whining about White people making decisions for Black people in Cincinnati, calling such behavior “Racist” and “Insensitive.” Compassionate Conservative Stu Mahlin says “It’s neither ‘Racist’ nor ‘Insensitive,’ Dwight.  Each individual person sitting around one of those ‘tables of decision’ is a human being, each with his or her own character and characteristics.  Can’t you quit judging people by the color of their skin and instead judge them by the ‘Content of Their Character?’ “

MARCH MADNESS: Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball says Spring usually arrives in the tri-state when UC basketball fans are home watching the Kentucky Wildcats play on TV, which will probably be the case, if the No. 8 Midwest seed UC (22-10) can’t get by No. 9 Purdue (21-12) on Thursday in Louisville at 7:10 p.m.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1852 Wells Fargo launched its nationwide express company, and one of these days, they may even come through office in Cincinnati.

OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Mark Twain’s “If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.”

TWENTY-FOUR YEARS AGO TODAY, when Edition #42 was published on March 19, 1991, even then The Whistleblower was making fun of some of our “friends” on both sides of the river.

ATTENTION GREATER CINCINNATI JOURNALISTS: You still have time to gather your worst work from 2014 work that appeared in print, online, and on-air during 2014 in Southwestern Ohio, Northern Kentucky, and Southeastern Indiana and enter the Greater Cincinnati Society for Unprofessional Journalist Chapter’s 2015 Mark of Excellence Contest.  The categories have been radically changed this year reflecting the new media world in which we live.  So, get busy.  The deadline for entries has been extended until MARCH 27, 2014.  Good luck, and don’t forget to send in your entry fees or we’ll pitch your crappy stories in the trash!

Meanwhile, over at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says Joe Beall celebrated Senile Old Jim Scott’s announced departure with a cockamamie list of Cincinnati’s Media Icon like Bob Braun, Ruth Lyons, and Al Schottlekotte. Curiously, neither “Trish the Dish” nor Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters was included. An oversight, to be sure!

OUR ANGRY ANDERSONIAN wonders when The Blower plans to report about the Anderson Park District wanting a levy in November to buy the Beech Acres property to add to their domain. And when are we going to write about the hush-hush plans the Township trustees are making to stop that to acquire that property for themselves and build a new high school on it to replace Anderson HS with over-taxed payer TIF funds and trade it for the current AHS property to do commercial development?  And when are we going to write about the Forrest Gump school board getting in bed with the township to do the swap so they can use the funds the over-taxed payers thought they were going to spend on AHS renovation to make good on bond levy campaign over-promises which are falling short of Dallas Jackson’s grossly unrealistic and intentionally misleading estimates? 

And the captive over-taxed payer continues to take a whacking and ask for more with their apathy, just like in “Animal House” when Kevin Bacon got his licks while repeating “Thank you sir, may I have another?”  

AT TUESDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane to give his favorite Irish Toast on Saint Patrick’s Day, which just happened to be our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher’s goal in life: “May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband.” The group was also amused watching CFK-TV’s Saint Patrick’s Day Video.

IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says many of his Northern Kentucky staffers didn’t show up to work today. Maybe they were all out celebrating BB&BJ Day on March 20 a little early. Remember what Confucius say about BB&BJ Day: Treat little woman like vacuum cleaner. If she stops sucking, change the bag.

And in a related story, yesterday Horny in Hebron’s wife went to the dentist, and following some minor gum surgery, the dentist told her not to eat apples, be careful brushing her teeth, and by no means was she to perform oral sex. “Damn,” she said. “I love apples.” Then she asked for a doctor’s note to take home for tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Our Muckraker wonders if our “Sluts in the Suburbs” in Warren County on A & E’s new reality series will be switching spouses to give their BJs, while over at Citizens for Community Values, Phil Burr-ass will be tuning in to find out on Sunday, March 22 at 10:00 pm.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially “Sluts in the Suburbs.”

PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only one websites for the production of today’s Blower. (This time we only plagiarized ourselves!)

BB&BJ DAY HOTLINE

e-mail your last-minute gift-giving suggestions today. 

Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, like this tasteful BB&BJ Day Card. 

 Whistleblower Video of the Day

Judge Jeanine Pirro Opening Statement – Does H Clinton Have The Integrity To Be President Of U.S.A?

Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Cathy Brinkman [697 Friends, 108 Mutual], who has man more Friends that her husband TaxKiller Tom.

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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