Saturday, March 14
Happy Ides of March Eve, Everybody!
The big day will finally arrive tomorrow, and you Backstabbers will finally get some of the recognition you deserve. Hurley the Historian says today’s the historic date (March 15, 44 BCE) when Roman Emperor Julius Caesar ignored his soothsayer’s words of warning and went to work that day anyway, whereupon Brutus and the rest of the RINOs in the Senate stabbed him in the back, and the front, and just about every other place on his body.
All this week nominations have been flooding in for The Blower’s “2015 Backstabber of the Year Award.”
Obama doesn’t need a special award. Anybody who’s not a Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and gets all of his information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, realizes Obama’s been stabbing America in the back for years.
In Congress, it was too hard to choose just one backstabber, because Conservatives watching the total wussification of GOP House Speaker John Boehner and Senate Surrender Monkey Bitch McConnell, couldn’t decide who was worse.
Ohio TEA Party Patriots totally favor giving Ohio’s ObamaCare-Loving Governor Kasich Taylor the honor.
Cincinnati Vice Mayor David Mann was pleased as punch to again be Grand Marshal at the Backstabbers Day Parade on March 15, where he’ll lead Clowncilman Flynn Flam and the rest of the Streetcar Six along the route of the Trolley Folly, and Cincinnati Clown-cilgay Chris Squealback says the All Gay St. Patrick’s Day Parade Committee has even invited Degenerate DemocRATS on City Clowncil to march in their parade when the Homosexual Hibernians march this year.
All over Hamilton County, Conservatives wanted to nominate RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP for backstabbing Real Republicans for even longer than Obama’s been backstabbing America.
Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge Traci Hunter nominated Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters for getting his grand jury to indict her on one more charge while she’s still frivolously appealing her six-month sentence from Judge Nadel on her previous conviction, and The Old Jaywalker says, “Just wait till next month when we indict her whiny black ass yet another time.”
Over-taxed Payers in Anderson nominated Trustees Josh Gerth and TEA Party Guy Andy Pappas for selling them out to the Forrest Gump School Tax Scammers while trying to save them some spare change by closing down the Anderson Community Cable TV Station.
In Northern Kentucky, tonight at Mainstrasse bars, Backstabbers drink free, and for those on the “A” List, it’s Miss Vicki’s Ides of March Party. And don’t forget, all of you Bluegrass Backstabbers, this year, it’s BYOB (Bring Your Own Blades).
Also in NoKY, Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Won’t They Let Me Practice Law Again, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters nominated a lot of people for The Blower’s Backstabber of the Year Award, including Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders, The Whistleblower, Former American Bar Association President/ Now CVG Czar William T. Robinson III, the entire Bluegrass Bar Association, and Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” was doing for free.
Finally, at yesterday’s bribe lunch with an elected official where Charles Foster Kane always sits with his back against the wall, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher told the “bribor” he remembers every time somebody has ever tried to stab him in the back. “You’ve read The Blower,” Kane explained, “so you know what kind of records we must keep.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Backstabbing Bastards.
TODAY’S BEST “LIBERAL LIAR” AWARD GOES TO
Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Craney, who invited Lesbian TV Host Ellen Degenerate to tape her TV show in the Queen City during the 2015 All Star Game.
“We would be honored to have you and your current Lesbian Lover come for a visit,” Cranley said in a letter.
Over at Citizens for Community Values, Phil Burr-ass says, “Not everybody!” and Jesse Folk at Channel 9’s “Substantially True” News also reported that in addition to the mayor’s efforts, Clowncil-Gay Chris Squealback says, “A Facebook group called ‘Bring Ellen and Her Lesbian Lover to Cincinnati’ has also popped up and is lobbying her to come to the Queen City.
So far it has 69 women-wearing-sensible-shoes members.”
CELEBRATING WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH HOT LINE
e-mail your favorite “So this feminist walks into a bar” jokes today.
Some estrogen infused items in today’s Blower were sent in our estrogen infused, Subscribers.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Republican vs. DemocRAT Women
(Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Rebecca Prem Groppe [86 Mutual Friends], a former Ben-Gal Cheerleader who was not represented by “Crazy Eric” Deters
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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“Your Money’s Worth” by James Jay Schifrin
This week in Patronage County, the Coalition Opposing Unemployed Politicians came up with the idea of electing nine county commissioners instead of three.
After the life squad left, the current commissioners told the media they’d have to study the matter before commenting. Then they held a closed-door meeting to discuss it.
“What timing,” said Commissioner Pilfer. “First we’re in trouble for giving ourselves pay raises while laying off county employees. Now they want to expand the board and dilute our power. The next thing you know they’ll be electing block captains.”
“We might even have to let someone from the other party in,” agonized Commissioner Filch.
“No problem,” said Commissioner Swindle. “We’ll still have control. We can cut a deal there.”
“But on top of that, they might expect us to hire a professional county manager,” argued Commissioner Filch.
“Maybe we’d have to set up a real personnel department. There goes the old patronage system. How do they expect men like us to stay in office?”
“It could be worse,” said Commissioner Swindle.
“Worse?” cried the others. “What could be worse than electing three times as many commissioners and paying us a lousy twelve grand, instead of our $32,000?”
“They could realize that’s all we’re worth and just keep the three of us and cut our pay by two-thirds,” Commissioner Swindle explained.
This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on March 18, 1981.