Friday, March 13, 2015 

Hillory in the Pillory

Yesterday’s winner of the Whistleblower’s Best Liberal Liar Award was Hillary Rodham Clinton, whom not even all the Kneepad Liberals in the Press still believe about her missing e-mails. Let’s face it, when Conservatives are thinking about the GREAT UNDO ELECTION of 2016 to begin cleaning up all of the damage done during the Devolution of our Culture throughout the historic Obama Administration, can the nation really trust Hillary to create jobs in America? The last time she had a job to do she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky.  But Harried Hillary has a pretty straightforward message for Disgruntled DemocRATS and the media: “Suck it up, Liberals. I’m all you’ve got. There’s no viable alternative to me other than a Republican president.” But The Blower says since Hillary and Biden are the best candidates our Dishonest Dems will ever find for 2016, if the incompetent RINOs can’t eke out a win in only 605 more days, America deserves what it’ll get!

         Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor

         Why, it’s none other than Sassy Sarah Palin, who according to Michael Walsh at Yahoo News, has little sympathy for Hillary Clinton amid the recent email controversy. Sarah shared two images on her Facebook page midday Wednesday, juxtaposing her cell phone use with Clinton’s. One picture shows a photo of Clinton during her tenure as secretary of state using a single cell phone, captioned with her rationale for using her private email for professional matters. “I opted for convenience … because I thought it would be easier to carry one device.” (But Hillary seems to have forgotten about that interview where she said on TV that she used a Blackberry, an iPhone, a mini-iPad, and a full sized iPad, which sounds like four e-mailing devices to The Blower.) The other photo shows Palin with a personal cell phone in one hand and a baby in the other — showing a  work cell phone labeled “State of Alaska” resting on the table in front of her. Palin also criticized Clinton in an article published on Fox News Monday for using a private, nongovernmental email address to conduct her work as a public servant.

Which is why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting the Fairer Sex during Women’s History Month, is pleased to select Ms. Palin to be this week’s guest editor and choose three Hillary Items plus a Hillary Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.

“GHOSTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE,” by Monica Lewinsky

When Hillary Clinton is sworn in as President in 2017, she will finally be disposed of Bill will be spending her first night alone in the White House. She will finally be free from Bill and will have been waiting for a lifetime for this.

On the first night: Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?”

Washington says, “Never tell a lie.” “Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

On the second night: the next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears, and Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.” “Ohhh! I really, really don’t want to do that,” Hillary replies.

On the Third night: the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appears and Hillary again asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”

  “SPEAKING CLEARLY” by Demosthenes Tadwell

Quote of the day, no, of the week, make that a month, yet it probably is quote of the year!  No, DECADE.  Wait a minute.  It’s the greatest quote EVER! And it’s 100% true, because Hillary really said:

“My accomplishments as Secretary of State? Well, I’m glad you asked! My proudest accomplishment in which I take the most pride, mostly because of the opposition it faced early on, you know. the remnants of prior situations and mindsets that were too narrowly focused in a manner whereby they may have overlooked the bigger picture and we didn’t do that and I’m proud of that. Very proud.  I would say that’s a major accomplishment.”

– Hillary Clinton 11 March 2014

Could someone please tell me what the hell she just said?  After all, she is running for President?

“A MONUMENT FOR HILLARY” by $tan Che$ley 

I have the distinguished honor of being on the Committee to raise $5,000,000 for a monument to Hillary R. Clinton. We originally wanted to put her on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
 
We then decided to erect a statue of Hillary in the Washington, D.C. Hall Of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside her husband William J. Clinton, who never told the truth, since Hillary could never tell the difference.
 
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest DemocRAT of them all. He left, not knowing where he was going and when he got there he didn’t know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been and did it all on somebody else’s money.
 
Thank you,
 
Hillary R. Clinton Committee
 
P. S. The Committee has raised $1.35 so far.

 AND A QUICKIE from Our Good Friend Bobby Leach

EmailGate

First Lois Lerner, Then Hillary Clinton, Now Eric Holder.

How Corrupt Is This Administration?

We have found Nixon’s successors and they’re all Dishonest DemocRATS!

These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with way too much time on their hands.

TODAY’S “LIBERAL LIAR” AWARD GOES TO

 Dishonest DemocRAT California Senator Barbara Boxer, who says those Mean-Spirited Republicans should leave Hillary alone so we can hear what she has to say about this great nation. Obama’s Race-Baited #1 Al Sharpton, who’s interviewing her, gets an assist.  

 

Another Women’s History Month Moment

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

More Stories We’re Working On

• Today is Friday the Thirteenth Again
• Whistleblower Backstabbers Day Awards on Sunday
• Our All Gay St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Tuesday
• BB&BJ Day Is Next Friday
• Is Winter Really Over?
• Flooded Basements in Anderson
• Still Not Giving Up Jokes for Lent

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most Irish guys would like to be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day on Sunday:
(A) Drinking and carousing: 2%
(B) Watching that stupid parade: 1%
(C) Painting their peckers green: 1%
(D) Watching Erin Go Braless: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

Weekly Whistleblower Limerick

What Saith, Soothsayer?

This week, everybody who attended the Whistleblower’s big “Political Backstabbers Day” celebration on the “Ides of March” to commemorate the date Julius Caesar got stabbed 137 times in the back at a toga party, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is our Anonymous Backstabber at the courthouse, who says “It’s always more fun stabbing somebody in the back when they don’t know who you are.”

Anonymous wins rear-view glasses so he can watch his own back, a K-tel knife sharpener, and his immediate induction into the Backstabbing Politicians Hall of Fame. His winning limerick is:

Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day.”
After the voters have all had their say.
To all their chagrin
Whoever gets in
The bronze gods will have feet of clay.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who always says, (After you.”):
Celebrating political backstabbing day
When Brutus took Caesar away
Treachery never abates
It’s just new victims, new dates
For a politician, it’s whatever makes hay.

We could talk about Ron Paul and McCain
And Lindsay of South Carolina fame
But when push comes to shove
There’s only one thing politicos love
Making profit on someone else’s pain.

But if you really want to know about today
Just ask a Carney named Jay
He deserves an award
For being the most cardboard
He’s a butt-kisser, that’s all I can say.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“This year on BB&BJ Day”

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Backstabbing Politicians.

BACKSTABBER AWARD HOT LINE

e-mail your nastiest nominations today.

Some backstabbing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally backstabbing subscribers, but we could always use more.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

Hillary Clinton – Lies

(Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Lovely Lori Viars [2,138 Friends, 111 Mutual], I serving Board Member at Warren County Right to Life Ohio, Board Member at Conservative Republican Leadership Committee, Central Committee and Executive Committee at the Warren County Republican Party, and star of the new “Neighbors With Benefits” TV Reality Show in Warren County.

  Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today. 

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