Tuesday, March 10, 2014
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Everybody’s getting ready to celebrate “Political Backstabbers Day” Sunday on the Ides of March to commemorate that historic date in 44 BCE when Brutus and the rest of the RINOs in the Senate stabbed Roman Emperor Julius Caesar in the back, the front, and just about every other place on his body. —Hurley the Historian
People are already sending in their nominations for “Political Backstabber of the Year.” —Backstabber of the Year Selection Committee
Will The Blower be calling me a Backstabber every day for the next the next 681 days during the Dark Ages of My Second Term, unless I decide to run for a third term or get my half-black ass impeached in the meantime?—Emperor Obama
I second that nomination. —Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu
Could we nominate each other? —Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka and Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters
I don’t need anybody to stab me in the back. I can do that all by myself. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
I’ve already agreed once again to be Grand Marshal at the Backstabbers Day Parade on March 15, where I’ll be leading Clowncilman Flynn Flam and the rest of the Streetcar Six along the route of the Trolley Folly. —Cincinnati Vice Mayor David Mann
Backstabbing gives a hole new meaning to “I’ve got your back.” —Cincinnati Clown-cilgay Chris Squealback
Citizens for Community Values President Phil Burr-ass is a big Homophobe Backstabber. —Rob “Fighting for the Gayness” Portman
Would I be nominated just because I’ve never explained exactly how my office came up with its so-called Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that you were forced to pay on Ground Hog’s Day? —Hamilton County’s Double-Dipping Disingenuous Auditor, Whose Campaign Billboard is Still Up at Vine and Liberty in Over-The-Rhine
We hope The Blower gives proper credit to Women Backstabbers during Women’s History Month. —The League of Women Backstabbers
The Guys at Gannett are all Backstabbers after they threw me out on my whiny ass. —Skaggie Maggie, Former Fishwrap Publisher
Even Kneepad Liberals in the Press are stabbing me in the back these days over a couple of lousy e-mails. —Hillary Clinton
Is there a separate category for “Backstabbers in Broadcasting?” —Your Former WLW Hate Radio Snitch
Chippy Gerhardt says everybody in the Anderson Township Republican Club is a backstabber. —Disgraced Former State Rep-tile Peter $tautberg, recently named by Ohio Governor Kasich-Taylor to fill a vacancy on the Ohio 1st District Court of Appeals.
We’re trying to give up backstabbing for lent. —Catholic Backstabbers
Would somebody who’s spreading a rumor at City Hall about John Cranley having an affair be a Backstabber? —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel
Thanks for Monday’s Backstabber of the Year Nomination after I already just caved Sunday to Obama on raising the Debt Ceiling. —GOP Senate Surrender Leader Bitch McConnell
You can tell John Boehner’s a Backstabber by how much blood he has on his hand, after he told House Republicans “We All Need To Be Team Players And Support Each Other.”—Photo Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper
All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, also stabbed us in the back. —American Over-Taxed Payers
Maybe that’s why we chose “While you’re talking behind my back, feel free to bend down and kiss my ass.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who’s the biggest backstabber of all? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
In Northern Kentucky, Political Backstabbing isn’t even a misdemeanor. —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
Our place wouldn’t be big enough to hold them all. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
If you’re an elected official in Northern Kentucky, you might be a backstabber. —Jeff Foxworthy
Every member of the Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Me (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) is a backstabber. —Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Won’t They Let Me Practice Law Again, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters
On the Ides of March, Political Backstabbers drink free. —Mainstrasse Bartenders
Recovering Backstabbers are always welcome. —Backstabbers Anonymous
See you there. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan Cornbread Smith
Thanks for finally plugging my son George’s “Ides of March” movie now that everybody can watch it on cable for free. —Nick Clooney
What’s the best part about the Ides of March on March 15? It means BB&BJ Day on March 20 is only five days away. —Our good friend Bobby Leach
Everybody’s wondering why I’m having an Ides of March Party on Sunday, instead of my customary more traditional St. Patrick’s Day Party on Tuesday. And don’t forget, all of you Bluegrass Backstabbers, this year, it’s BYOK (Bring Your Own Knives). —Miss Vicki
Are contractors bidding on restoring your flooded World Headquarters all Backstabbers? —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Hey, Everybody… “Trish the Dish” wants to know what happened to all the clocks. —TV 19 News
Trish probably forgot to tell everybody to forget to change the batteries in their smoke detectors without my being there to remind her. —WCPO-TV’s New Helicopter Guy Dan Carroll
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Pornographers.
PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only 643 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Political Backstabbing to show that “hypocrisy and insincerity” are not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t working on a political campaign.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Political Consultants
BACKSTABBER OF THE YEAR HOT LINE
e-mail your noxious nominations today.
Some backstabbing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally backstabbing subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Mansplaining Women’s History Month
Published on Mar 3, 2013: A PSA about Women’s History Month by men.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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