Thursday, March 5, 2015

Call Ripley’s

AT LAST YEAR’S MARCH 4 2014 MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to explain the Debt Ceiling. “I love it when a complicated situation can be explained in such simple terms,” Kane said. “DemocRATS don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING. Republicans don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING. Libertarians don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING. Not even the TEA Party understands THE DEBT CEILING, so please allow me to explain.

“Let’s say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood. Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings. What do you think you should do, raise the ceiling or pump out all the shit? Your choice is coming in November. Don’t miss the opportunity.”

And wouldn’t you know it, when our Beloved Publisher went downstairs to the Whistleblower Office on March 4, 2015, he found the entire basement office under water. Coincidence? We think not! 

But thanks to the friendly folks at the Anderson Township Fire Department who pumped out the water, Mike and Brian at the Sewer Response Back Up Team who assessed the problem, Ron and Darryl at Anderson Hills Plumbing who augered out the drains,  Rick Lawson at Lawson’s Heating to make sure the furnace was safe, our wonderful next door neighbors Bob and Cathy Drake to help set up some fans, Dan Conn the Cable God at Time Warner Business Class to re-install our phones and restore our internet connection, Safeco Insurance Adjuster Michael Simon, Judy Steelman at Globe Insurance, and Darrin and Rob at Teasdale Fenton to begin the extensive restoration process at our World Headquarters, it’s totally amazing that on March 5, 2015, The Blower is still in business today. We can hardly believe it ourselves. 

 More Important News Later at the Whistleblower-Newswire.