One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
What a Difference a Year Makes
Think of how much things have changed since the last week of February, 2014. It was our Special “Bubba in the Bluegrass” E-dition, and The Blower said, “It was where Character didn’t mean Crap!”
That Tuesday at Fox News, Chris Stirewalt was all over the story about America’s favorite DemocRAT testing his clout on the campaign trail in Kentucky, because how it went would have a lot to say about the results of this year’s elections and the arc of the party heading into 2016. In a textbook Bill Clinton play, the former president rolled into Louisville to campaign for Alison Wondergams Grimes, the daughter of one of his former campaign financiers. Wondergams was hoping to knock off Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell this fall in one of only two potential Senate bright spots for a party facing a very dark midterm forecast. It was a perfectly Clintonian moment: high stakes, big egos, sex scandals, retail politics, old cronies, his wife’s ambitions and the long-simmering tensions with President Obama. With control of the Senate at stake and his wife no doubt eager to show the family’s continuing clout in states that disdain Obama, Clinton’s arrival was welcome news. But it came at a cost.
As Clinton arrived, Stirewalt continued, Grimes was in a tight race and the junior senator from the Commonwealth, Senator Rand Paul, had made no secret that he believes Clinton’s past as a “sexual predator” should be germane to voters and candidates who accept his help. That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Paul’s “For all these people who stand up for Bill Clinton, say ‘He’s the greatest thing since sliced bread,’ he was a serial philanderer but he also is someone who took advantage of women in the workplace.”
Clinton has a famously short fuse when it comes to any reminder of the scandal that led to his impeachment and disbarment. So that was hurdle number one: For the former president not to pop off in Kentucky if confronted with Paul’s comments. As Rep. Jim Clyburn, D-S.C., can attest, Clinton’s bad temper can hurt the candidates the former president wants to help.
But for Persons of Consequence, there was nothing really new in the Fox News coverage, since Blower readers have been reading about Slick Willie’s campaign stop for the past two weeks.
In our February 10 Focus Group E-dition, Furloughed Northern Kentucky Sewer Worker Ed Norton said, “I can hardly wait to be invited to meet Disgraced Former Pants Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton when Northern Kentucky DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob invites some of her friends to her house in Fort Mitchell to support DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes’s campaign to unseat Bitch McConnell in the U.S. Senate, which everybody knows is only a rehearsal for Hillary’s big campaign for President in 2016.”
On February 12, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wondered if any of our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press would remember any of this when our Peyronie’s President campaigns for Alison Wondergams Grimes’ equally foolish attempt to unseat Kentucky Senior Senator Bitch McConnell in November.
On February 15, Northern Kentucky DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob, who couldn’t wait to invite Disgraced Former Pants Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton to her house in Fort Mitchell to support DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes’ campaign to unseat Bitch McConnell in the U.S. Senate, which everybody knew was nothing more than a rehearsal for Hillary’s big campaign for President in 2016, didn’t send us a Valentine.
On February 20, the CamBoozler said he was all set to cover last night’s Deranged DemocRAT fund-raiser in Louisville for Alison Wondergams Grimes in her attempt to unseat Kentucky Senior Senator Bitch McConnell in November, where Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton will embarrass everybody in Kentucky with a smidgen of decency who believed it was wrong for a President of these United States to get blow jobs from an intern in the Oval Office. The Blower often remembers when Kentucky’s Venerable Former U.S. “Beanball Jim” Bunning called Bill Clinton the most corrupt, amoral, and despicable president he’d ever seen.
And the previous Sunday, on February 23, The Blower said it would be checking to see who won Tuesday night’s “Give Bill Clinton a Blow Job” Lottery, which of course, included hummers from Kneepad Liberals in the Press. So naturally, in Tuesday’s Real Emails From Real Subscribers E-dition, Horny in Hebron wondered if Bill Clinton would be coming to Northern Kentucky for BB&BJ Day on March 20.
FINALLY, AT THE PREVIOUS DAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane who won Tuesday’s “Give Bill Clinton a Blow Job” Lottery at Alison Wondergams Grimes Fundraiser in Louisville, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher said, “I’m not sure,” Kane reported after the event. “The e-mail the Grimes campaign sent to supporters detailing the time her naughty parts tingled the time she first met Slick Willie when she was only 14 years old, and asking for $5 donations didn’t mention it, but I’m sure the biggest BJs our former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief got were the ones in print from our Kneepad Liberals in the Press.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Disingenuous DemocRATS.
TODAY’S BEST “LIBERAL LIAR” AWARD GOES TO
Former Ohio Gayvener Ted Strickland, who announced he will run for Senate in 2016, setting up a heavyweight fight with Republican Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman in what promises to be the gayest Ohio Senate Campaign in History. On Tuesday, Strickland claimed “I’m running for the United States Senate in 2016 because I am determined to restore the American Dream for working people in this country.”
No wonder the Ohio Republican Party launched its TedFailedOhio.Com web page to ask for money, which featured a video telling everybody “Ted Strickland is an Ohio Jobs Killer.”
Our Black History Month Seediest Kid of All
Buckwheat Blackwell was a very tall 15-year-old inner-city yoof who felt like a nerd because he couldn’t dribble a basketball, and thought he’d become sixth grade class president instead.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) sent over buttons and bumper stickers, arranged for polling and focus groups, and persuaded Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney to produce attack ads and teach him how to call his opponent an “asshole.” County RINO Party Chairman Alex Triantafilou (pronounced “Alex”) arranged a triple-top-secret fund-raiser at Disgraced DemocRAT $tan Che$ley’s Indian Hill Estate, Me, Greg Hartmann forced his county clerks to volunteer to put up yard signs all over Buckwheat’s neighborhood, and from Columbus, Carlo LoParo helped Buckwheat tell bald-faced lies to the news media about asking for illegal corporate donations in his fund-raising letters and his unauthorized use of the official U.S. Seal on his campaign literature.
Amazingly, young Buckwheat didn’t get a single vote, mainly because the teachers union had registered all of his little sixth grade classmates as DemocRATS. Lessons learned may prove valuable, should Buckwheat ever seriously try to run for governor or chairman of the Republican National Committee.
Despite his humiliating loss, Buckwheat is still grateful to the Seediest Kids of All; but it’s really you he has to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt giving throughout the year which makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our February fund-raising drive by the Rumpke Landfill in Colerain, offering big-hearted discounts for Senior Citizens, but only if they know how to ask for it by calling the Geezer Garbage Department at (513) 742-2900.
SARCASM HOT LINE
e-mail your Lunatic Liberal Logic today.
Some Really Great Liberal Ideas in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Really Great Liberal Subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Handjobs for the Homeless
(Sent in by Disgraced Former Anderson Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien—NOT a Faux Facebook Friend )
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
